17 Year old -Depressed

LegacyUser

I am a regular boards user but would prefer to keep this post private.

I am 17 and in 6th year. My parents are in the process of getting divorced which I have expected for the last 5 or so years. I saw it coming and have no problem about it. (I think) The only issue is my Dad. He is being over protective of me. He won't leave me on my own for even half a day. For example, my mum & dad went down to Wexford for a day morning-evening. He kept going on about how he feels like he is abandoning me & how he feels so bad. I am 17 I do not need a babysitter. I was out for most of the day anyway with friends. He's treating me like a little kid.

Its got to a stage where no matter what he says I want to punch him in the face. Myself and my mum were having dinner today as my dad was working late. When I heard his car pull in I had to leave the kitchen, I just couldn't cope with him. Basically everything he does just makes me hate him. Which then in turn makes me feel bad. Although he has been unfair to me in my opinion. He keeps moaning and looking for sympathy. My mum was in London & it was just myself and Dad at home. I went out with my mates in the evening and as I was going out the door he guilt tripped me to stay because he would 'be all on his own'

I am now suffering from depression & low self asteem. I don't think they are fully linked to my parents divorce. I was bullied when I was younger by my older brothers and remember crying myself to sleep on several nights. I have lost the ability to talk to new people. I am fine with people in school and people I know. I keep worrying about who to take to the debs as I don't currently have a girl friend & worrying about whether people like me or what do they think. It has crossed my mind that people can read my thoughts and that everyone is watching my life on a reality tv and taking the piss out of me. I don't acctually believe it but I keep thinking it.

If I had to guess no-one at school would think I am depressed. In school when I am with my mates I am happy and smiling and genuinely having a good time. Its just when I am on my own I lose it.

I feel like I push people away and don't open up to them as I don't want to be vulnerable.

Sorry for the long thread! Just wondering if anyone has any advice.

AnnyHallsal

Many of the things you mention are quite common and I'm sure you'd be surprised how many of your friends feel similarly. I'd try to be patient with Dad - just grit your teeth and bear it. He sounds quite needy but then he probably needs you. If you find your uncomfortable feelings persisting I'd consider speaking to someone about it.

Overheal

Thats a disastrous thing to have happen in your family life, the exam year being just another point of burden.

It has crossed my mind that people can read my thoughts and that everyone is watching my life on a reality tv and taking the piss out of me. I don't acctually believe it but I keep thinking it.

Been there, quite honest. And it's pretty far down there on the self-esteem totem pole.

Something I never did when I was in Secondary, only did when I was in the middle of college and wish I had done sooner was go to the available counseling. It's very invigorating to get these things off your chest for one thing but importantly counselors just have a way about them. All they ever do is ask questions and you provide the answers for yourself. The thing is, we don't always know what questions to ask ourselves.

Boards is a fine medium but I think you'll get the most effective session from the school counselor, in my opinion. Your dad is the wrong person to be with at this time. And I don't even say that for all the anger he's causing you but you just need to detach yourself from a situation to examine a situation. You can't do that with your family, sadly, when it's about your family.

Counselors only drawback is they can be intimidating to approach. If you feel that way when you get in there, ask them to break the ice for a moment and talk about themselves; sometimes you need to put someone into a little context before you feel comfortable expressing yourself in front of them.

longneck

hi.op.my 18 year old son also has a similar problem with his dad although we do'nt live with him anymore.our separation was great for my son as it gave him so much space from his dad.the biggest thing you need to know is that you are not responsible for how other people behave,nor can you control it.you can only manage your own responses to their behaviour.if you have a good relationship with your mum talk to her,my son and i do that all the time and he finds it very useful just to bounce his thoughts of me.
its unfortunate that some dads do this to their sons,you may never change him so you need to mind yourself.teenbetween is very good as is the ispcc,i'm sure they are in your area.best of luck and i hope all works out.

jay93

Parents splitting up can be a very hard thing to go through
my dad left us a few years back and now my mam is with a complete arsehole and to be honest i hate even been around him everyday but ive just ignored it and just got on with everything even tough the nagging problem is there i try my best to get over it altough it aint easy at all dont let it get you down so much just try your best to be happy altough it can seem so hard to be happy when you are feeling the way you are