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Coping With Situation At Home?

  • 31-08-2010 8:42pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,

    My parent split up about 9 months ago. I took it hard, but it was better than the previous 3 years in which there was horrendous fighting in the house. My mother got involved with another man (before the split), and after the split, she is seeing him now. I have no ill-will against my mother as such, but I do with the other man. After a verbal argument, I am currently not speaking to my mother.

    I live with my father, and things are going decent in my life, but he sometimes tends to come home after work, stinking of booze, and complaining about he has had the 'worst day of his life', and a very 'why me?' attitude. He plays the victim the whole time, regardless of whether or not he is one. It gets me very down.

    I have two questions:

    1) Am I somewhat justified in not speaking to my mother? She claims that I don't want to see her happy which is not the case, I just dislike the way the other man came in before the split-up, and they are seeing each other after it. He effectively coveted her.

    2) How do I cope with my fathers victim statements? I suffer a little from it myself, but with counselling and medication, I have gotten over it. It just has a big effect on me you know?

    Thanks for all comments guys.


Comments

  • #2
    coolcat63
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 193 ✭✭coolcat63


    1. Whether you speak to your mother or not is up to you but don't fool yourself into thinking she was 'coveted' - she chose to start seeing the other man, she is choosing to stay with him. Perhaps he makes her happier than your father did; either way it's her choice and you should respect it.

    2. Your father is human and has sh*tty days and is more than likely upset about the end of his marriage so be gentle with him. If you think he is depressed then it might be a good idea to suggest he talks to his G.P.

    It sounds like you've had to grow up quite quickly since your parents split up (sorry, don't know how old you are) and part of that process is recognising that your parents are fallible, flawed people but to love them regardless...


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