Getting cold feet

Sulkinskimpy

Thankfully it's not me getting cold feet but my to-be sister in-law and best friend!!

The other day she confided in me she was getting cold feet with the wedding only a matter of days away.

I told her she should go talk it through with my brother as we both know she loves him and if they talk it through she may get some reassurrance.

However she said she's not doing this as it'll crush him if he thinks she's having doubts-but the fact of the matter is that it'll crush him even more if she doesn't show up on the day or else leaves their marriage after a couple of months.

I have given her my word and I wouldn't dare go behind her back to my brother but is there any way I can make her see that talking to him is the only way she'll be able to sort this out or should I just leave her off knowing what I know?
Thanks

emarfrog

oh dear I'm replying even though I have no idea what to say. My heart goes out to you. I think its amazing that your brothers fiancée would confide in you like that, you must be a really open, honest and approachable girl! I hope it all works out for the best. I'm six months away from my wedding, I can honestly say I have never gotten cold feet about getting married, but who knows, 2 weeks before the wedding, I might! It is an enormous deal promising to spend the rest of your life with someone! Maybe the enormity of it has just hit her?

ThePiedPiper

Sulkinskimpy, I'd say plenty of people get nervous or have a few doubts coming up to their wedding. My brother was completely down in the dumps the morning of his wedding, not nervous, more like depressed, it was weird, but he got himself together, had a great day of it and is perfectly happy years later with his wife.

Anyway, my point is that these pre-wedding jitters are probably fairly normal. I think you should be telling your future sis-in-law how much your brother loves her, pointing out loads of things they've done together, reminding her why she loves him and wants to spend her life with him. Maybe have a word with her chief bridesmaid to let her know that the bride is extremely nervous and to try and take up the slack a bit. Also, tell your brother to try and look after some of the last minute things that need doing, getting the cake to the hotel, finalising the table plan. If his fiancee sees him working hard to make sure the wedding is right, she'll relax a bit.

Other than that, just be there for the both of them. It is a stressful day, and I'd bet that it's stress and nerves that has your brother's fiancee up in a hoop. You'll be laughing about it in a few weeks, don't worry.:rolleyes:

irishlady29

I would think it's just the nerves that are getting the better of her, Are you very close to her? I think its a bit strange that she confided in you, do you think she's hoping you might mention it to your brother?

niceoneted

I think your brother fiancee is trying to manipulate you. Surely she has family or friends or her own that she can confide in with this information. She came to you so as she would get the message back to your brother without having to tell him herself.
If I were you I would be more concerned with the betrayal of your brother than towards her. Tell him. If that is the type of person she is he's better of knowing.

The facts are always friendlier as my friend says. It means then you are in control of the change in your life be it good or bad.