scared to become dependant

LegacyUser

hey all..

sorry if this is too long
ok story is with a great guy for 10 months.. I always was confident enough.. in past realtionships always would have been quite vocal about my plans/opinions etc..

but cannot shake off feeling in this relationship that im inferior..
this is nothing to do with anything boyf. does.. he treats me well.. but i suppoes he would be more confident that anyone that have gone out with before

I know it's could be to do with fact.. in dead end job at moment as failed final year college exams..
and can't find another job with recess.. yes you all know the story

I tend to overreact if boyf even speaks bout plans that don't include me.. he has considered moving away to get a better job.. but literally just thinks out loud about it..
don't say it to him but drive myself mad thinking about it..

I get so defensive and think why not break up now or how can he just consider moving abroad for while ... he wouldn't if cared etc..

Also from this I don't tend to talk to him re family / work probs as so afriad become dependant on him..

just to add.. recent bereavment in my family.. can't work out if this why i don't want to becmoe dependant..

just feel i so unhappy in my own skin at moment .. it's totally my prob and im overreacting to thing in relationship..

can anyone tell me how to feel better bout myself so i enjoy this for now..

is this relationship not right if feel like this..


thanks so much for any advice.. really appreciate.. need to snap out ofi this..

LegacyUser

Youve more or less said in your post that this isnt a problem with your boyfriend , its to do with your self esteem, death in the family, failing exams. I wouldnt say the relationship is bad because you feel this way, rather your probably reacting to his plans because your not in a good position to confidantly make your own plans. Let him know your ill at ease becasue of all the things you mentioned and he might even help you feel better!

LegacyUser

ok i realise i prob answered my own question there.. but jusy wondering could anyone help me.. i satrt being petty.. not wanting to feel like available to meet when suits him if he has a busy week and freak out if feel making more efforts than him

any advice to help myself cop on.. be so appreciated thanks again

LegacyUser

firstly thanks so much for replies..

thats the things.. have lots friends.. have my own interests but he's even busier and i get defensive if fit around his plans..

as stupid as this goin to sound i feel like I have to be doin something .. howw do i explain.. if he is busy and can't meet.. i can't just say no i ve no plans guna take it easy.. i need to do something
nearly to justify to myself well i not sitting around waiting..

ok now writing this i see how crazy i seem..

suppose always used to having upper hand sorry to put it like that in 2 previous realtionships
and have fallen hard for this guy ..