Being Approachable

LegacyUser

Hi everyone decided to go unregistered for this.

Basically I'm a young single guy and I would consider myself pretty ok looking. Don't want to sound vain but I'm in good shape, pretty tall and wear decent clothes. My problem is though that I'm terrible at reading body language and that I think I seem unapproachable to girls.

I'll take going on a bus as an example. Sometimes when I go on the bus nice girls would kinda stare at me for a second when they get on. Then I do notice sometimes they would be looking at me when they think I can't see them and whenever I turn around the look the other way. Do you think they are "checking me out" or looking at me like I'm a complete idiot? This staring thing happens a good bit on the bus or when I'm walking around college or whatever I just don't have much experience with girls and terrible at reading body language. Any opinions on that?

My other thing is that sometimes I feel like I make girls afraid to approach me. I don't want to keep staring at girls and make them think I'm a creep or anything so if they look at me I just look out the window. Is this hurting my chances? Would it be weird if I smiled at them or anything? I would love a female opinion on what makes guys seem approachable i.e. would a guy smiling at you make you think he was nice or a weirdo? Any advice would be great thanks.

Doc

You are the man approach them! That’s what their used to. Do you want them to just throw themselves at you or what?

Exclamation Marc

From personal experience, the majority of girls in Ireland would rather miss out on the opportunity of meeting a nice guy than actually have to do the approaching themselves.

They're are some out there who do, but its rare. Oh and approaching girls walking around college is a way better idea than approaching girls on buses, they would probably be a bit weirded out by it considering the situation etc, so I wouldn't recommend that.

As doc said, lesson #1 - do the approaching yourself (there's nothing wrong with you, dont worry)

LegacyUser

Hey OP, im a 19 yo female. in my opinion if girls are having a quick look at you and then looking back again when it seems you arent looking then they are definitely checking you out. usually girls are just as shy if not more when it comes to showing interest in someone they like.
i dont know if others are the same but id never be the first to make a move.. its not creepy at all to let a girl know you like her. make a little eye contact and give a smile.. if she smiles back she probably likes you. if she isnt interested she will probably be flattered from the attention anyway

LegacyUser

you must be very young and thus naive. Do you really expect the girls to come over and start chatting to you? I'm afraid you'll be waiting for a while before that happens, no matter how "approachable" you might appear.

LegacyUser

Doc wrote: »

You are the man approach them! That’s what their used to. Do you want them to just throw themselves at you or what?

I see where you are coming from but how exactly would I go after a girl in college for example? Just start talking to them?

Zen65

NotSureWhatToDO wrote: »

I see where you are coming from but how exactly would I go after a girl in college for example? Just start talking to them?

Yes!

force majeure

I'm no expert but if you give them a little smile to start with you may just get you foot in the door. Mind you when it come to breaking the ice dont ask me as my track record on one liners leaves a lot to be desired.

Ickle Magoo

A girl looks at you, you look back - if they look interested then smile and if they smile back go and talk. Just take it in baby steps, encouragement is easy to read. If she's not interested she'll look away when you smile or not make much eye contact or physical contact when chatting.

All the best