I blocked him!

LegacyUser

My boyfriend and I have been going through a rough patch after a year and a half of being happy together. I've been confused lately, and tonight I blocked him from my facebook to give myself an idea of how my life would look without him. (Facebook is not my whole life, but still...!) I didn't realise that once I unblocked him he would not be on my friends list, so I have added him again. My problem is, how the hell am I going to explain this to him?

Taltos

Suggest if you want to move past the rough patch you be brutally honest with him.

Why? - Cause this might help him realise how sincere you are about potentially ending things for good.

I am not though a fan of relationships via Facebook...
Communication is key - you have to talk to each other - face to face not via electronic means.

Kidchameleon

Clicked it by accident / dog stood o keyboard / or just be honest, better to have your feelings out in the open

LegacyUser

That's good advice.

I'm not a fan of conducting relationships via technology either - that's part of our problem.

Just a bit of clarification...

We live 2 hours' drive apart. I moved in with him at the start of the summer to see how we'd get on, but his new housemate kept letting his girlfriend stay in the flat too (24/7). I grew not to like her, not least because she wasn't paying a penny and I was, she wasn't particularly friendly, and neither she nor her boyfriend had asked anyone if it was ok for her to move in.

So, I moved out as it was causing both friction between me and my boyfriend and tension in the flat, and there was no resolution in sight. (Having just moved in, I thought my boyfriend or his other flatmate should have dealt with it rather than letting me go in all guns blazing...maybe I was wrong and I should have confronted the problem head-on myself, I don't know.)

It was another month before the boyfriend (i.e. her own boyfriend) got fed up with her being there all the time too and she finally started going home now and again...but that was too late for me to move back in.

So, yeah, that and a few other niggles have been getting to me, hence my moment of madness lastnight.

Thanks again for the advice guys - you're right.

CDfm

I would go with the accident or dog

Taltos

Accident or dog is fast and easy way out.

However - unless you both learn a way to talk thru problems instead of letting them fester it will only get worse. Trust me - I used to let everything build up until the simplest thing would send me to over-react.

If an accident/dog won't cut it - just say you wanted to get his attention as you feel you both need to learn how to communicate better going forward. Apologise if it scared him.. bla bla bla - but you want to work on the relationship so that it is stronger....

LegacyUser

Thanks Taltos ... and thanks CDfm, but I'm not going to go with accident or dog! As embarrassing as it might be I'll tell him the truth. If we break up, we break up, and I won't expect him to accept my friend request!

LegacyUser

Taltos wrote: »

If an accident/dog won't cut it - just say you wanted to get his attention as you feel you both need to learn how to communicate better going forward.

I wasn't trying to get his attention though. He wasn't supposed to know. I thought I could just block him for a minute, unblock him and it would all go back to normal. Would telling him I wanted to get his attention be better than telling the complete truth? I agree though that a big talk about future communication needs to come from this. (IF he wants to speak to me again...)

Ickle Magoo

Why don't you just say you were angry at him and in temper blocked him. Use it as a springboard to discuss the issues you are having rather than concentrating on the actual act of blocking.

Best of luck.