Transitioned Sooner?

L.Jenkins

A good question was put out there tonight, Would you have transitioned sooner if you could have? I'm only 25, but if I came to terms with it sooner and knowing that my family would be fine with it, I would have done it much earlier.

I don't know if I should ask what held you back if any, as it maybe a bit personal.

Miss Ogyne

Oh yeah totally, I'd have done it from 1 years old if that had have been an option, as you said my reasons for not doing it sooner are personal but given the choice then yep, without a doubt. The day I was born they could have just chopped that dead maggot and two peas off and I doubt I'd be crying about it now

L.Jenkins

I personally have had serious inclinations about being female and only this year, I finally admitted to myself that this is what I want and when I did come to recognise how I feel, it was like a sigh of relief and a ten ton weight being lifted off my shoulders.

Miss Ogyne

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

I personally have had serious inclinations about being female and only this year, I finally admitted to myself that this is what I want and when I did come to recognise how I feel, it was like a sigh of relief and a ten ton weight being lifted off my shoulders.

Trust me on this the admittance was only the tip of the ice berg, if you go full time (and I really hope you can) that ten ton weight will be minuscule, how big it is is comparable to the ice berg that took down the Titanic, there's no other feeling like those first 3 months of living as your real gender,just the fun of it, finding your style that you like, silly things like getting called Miss in shops instead of Mister and the first day someone refers to you as "Her"/"She" is a really cool day

L.Jenkins

Admitting it to myself was pretty huge at the time. Nothing will be bigger than the social transition and I look forward today when I'm finally refered to as she and her

Katherine Jane

To put it simply, it was fear of acceptance, and rejection that slowed me down. Had I the nerve, I could have had all of this completed years ago, but I was a coward. It wasn't until I found myself on this side of 30 that I snapped and thought "WTH am I waiting for? Am I waiting to be so old that I can't have a (normal) life?"

Some have been accepting, but most of my old friends have faded. I've gained new friends who accept me as I am, not as they thought I was. If that makes any sense.

I've lost many family members who don't want anything to do with me, and that's ok.

We all want to be viewed in a positive light, and to be accepted, and valued as human beings. Too bad there are some who are unwilling to look past the cariactures they see on daytime television. Remember, for most people, it is difficult to comprehend WHY, and because of that, it is also difficult to accept. One of the joys of transition.

Eebs

Shoulda woulda could.. Life is too short.

The short and long of it is... I'm actually happy with my life. Who knows how it would have gone if I had figured this all out and gone through with it earlier. I wouldn't be the person I am today though with all the life experience I have and at the end of the day I like who I am (not just how my transition has gone).

I think I can appreciate now (being transitioned) all those other things I experienced. I wasn't happy at the time but that's the gift of looking back and being able to dissect your life when you feel more stable and happy.

Sure there are upsides but for example my friend who transitioned later in life got to have biological kids. Something he said he just wouldn't be able to reconcile now, knowing his gender identity. I'm realistically never going to have biological kids of my own having transitioned relatively early.

Other things and experiences happen and there are always positives to those.

Miss Ogyne

Eebs wrote: »

Shoulda woulda could.. Life is too short.

The short and long of it is... I'm actually happy with my life. Who knows how it would have gone if I had figured this all out and gone through with it earlier. I wouldn't be the person I am today though with all the life experience I have and at the end of the day I like who I am (not just how my transition has gone).

I think I can appreciate now (being transitioned) all those other things I experienced. I wasn't happy at the time but that's the gift of looking back and being able to dissect your life when you feel more stable and happy.

Sure there are upsides but for example my friend who transitioned later in life got to have biological kids. Something he said he just wouldn't be able to reconcile now, knowing his gender identity. I'm realistically never going to have biological kids of my own having transitioned relatively early.

Other things and experiences happen and there are always positives to those.

I suppose there is that aspect that I hadn't considered with my first answer. If I transitioned sooner I probably wouldn't have met my current partner who I love dearly and I wouldn't have my son and his mother (not my current partner) in my life either. My son stays at least 2 weekends a month and he's one of the funniest most considerate people I've ever met and I'd consider his mother to be one of my best friends (even though the relationship ended over 10 years ago). We talk to each other everyday over mail/ phone, the three of us regularly meet up and do things as a family which is how the three of us view our relationship, as our own family unit. If there was one thing that would be the swayer of wether I'd transition earilier then it would be them because I'd hate to imagine my life without them in it. Thanks for giving me that perspective Eebs.

L.Jenkins

I just figured today, because it always seems to be on my mind, that it was pure ingorance that held me back. I had so many fears about transitioning and knew nothing about the process. Not that I know what I want and need to do, I decided only a few months ago to go for it.

Miss Ogyne

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

I just figured today, because it always seems to be on my mind, that it was pure ingorance that held me back. I had so many fears about transitioning and knew nothing about the process. Not that I know what I want and need to do, I decided only a few months ago to go for it.

It's not that hard, I think some people like to make a bigger issue out of it than is actually nessassary to be honest (TS drama queens),clothes are easy to find, your size exists somewhere and changing your name literally takes one day and then a 2 week wait until the documents are processed and even before that you'll be seeing Kelly and O'Shae and most likely be sorted out with hormones so what's left after all that is the easy part

L.Jenkins

I suppose being young, I just didn't know where to look. Never though in my life have I had something consume me so much. I actually feel it growing in intensity as time goes on.

Miss Ogyne

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

I suppose being young, I just didn't know where to look. Never though in my life have I had something consume me so much. I actually feel it growing in intensity as time goes on.

But in the same vein is it growing in intensity naturally or is it growing in intensity because now you have people that can relate? basically if the help on this forum wasn't there would it be the same?

L.Jenkins

Miss Ogyne wrote: »

But in the same vein is it growing in intensity naturally or is it growing in intensity because now you have people that can relate? basically if the help on this forum wasn't there would it be the same?

I feel that it is both. Over the last few years the idea of transitioning increased, but with the support and people I can relate, it's really taken off. It's actually gotten to the point where I get upset at who looks back me in the mirror, not trying to be too cheesy. The idea of going through with it really perks me up alot.

Links234

I don't think it's worth thinking about what could have or would have been.

deirdre_dub

Links234 wrote: »

I don't think it's worth thinking about what could have or would have been.

Bingo! I'm looking forward to a life as a female who lives her life without regret. I don't see the point in spending all this money, going through all this grief, making all these changes, to end up in a life filled with regret that I didn't do it earlier.

Yes I wish that I had understood myself earlier. There - I said it - it's now over and done with - let's move on!