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Completely messed up. Advice needed

  • 26-08-2010 4:58pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I was seeing my estranged sisters ex for over a year. She had left him two years ago for someone else and I haven't seen her for over ten years. I always knew that he didn't care for me the way he felt about her but it didn't feel wrong being with him. He always insisted that we could not be in a relationship and when I agreed to go on a date with someone who asked me out I told him. We met up once again and he insisted that he had not been with anyone else. To cut a long story short this ruined my chance with the new guy and I later found out that he had been seeing someone else. I now feel disgusted with myself for being so stupid, I had always thought that we were friends and could be honest with each other. My estranged sister knows (it was never about her in case anyone thinks that) and so does my family and probably the entire town.
    How do I pick myself up, move on and put this shameful piece of my past behind me? I hate myself for what I have done. It just seems that some men can do these things, feel nothing and walk away and continue on with their life as if nothing has happened. I wish I didn't feel anything and could move on with mine, I just feel like rubbish and know I've only myself to blame for alllowing it to happen.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Firstly, quit beating yourself up over this. You made a call on something and was wrong. It happens all the time but not always so publicly or in such complicated circumstances. I hope you aren't this hard on yourself every time you make a mistake.

    Secondly, you pick your self up and move on with as much dignity and grace as you can manage keeping in mind the above point.

    Finally, remember how we look on the outside isn't always how we feel on the inside and with that in mind start acting like this is all behind you.

    I wish you the best and remember most people have suffered some, if not loads, of humiliation when it comes to matters of the heart.
    iamcompletelymessedupnow wrote: »
    I was seeing my estranged sisters ex for over a year. She had left him two years ago for someone else and I haven't seen her for over ten years. I always knew that he didn't care for me the way he felt about her but it didn't feel wrong being with him. He always insisted that we could not be in a relationship and when I agreed to go on a date with someone who asked me out I told him. We met up once again and he insisted that he had not been with anyone else. To cut a long story short this ruined my chance with the new guy and I later found out that he had been seeing someone else. I now feel disgusted with myself for being so stupid, I had always thought that we were friends and could be honest with each other. My estranged sister knows (it was never about her in case anyone thinks that) and so does my family and probably the entire town.
    How do I pick myself up, move on and put this shameful piece of my past behind me? I hate myself for what I have done. It just seems that some men can do these things, feel nothing and walk away and continue on with their life as if nothing has happened. I wish I didn't feel anything and could move on with mine, I just feel like rubbish and know I've only myself to blame for alllowing it to happen.


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