Different girl, same story

LegacyUser

Hi, going unregistered for this. Bit embarrassed about this. Ok I turned 27 this week, I posted unreg here ages ago about having no problem meeting girls, but either I usually lose interest or the girl does. Some girls have genuinely fallen for me, where I haven't felt the same for whatever reason. And I don't want to hurt them I just don't feel the same so I end it. The thing is every now and again I meet a girl that I really like. Girl I am meeting now, stunner, mad about her get on well. Would love to have her as my girlfriend. She is moving away to a different part of the country. She thinks it will be too hard with the distance. She has a point of course. She seems to be backing off a bit. Not in contact as often as she used to be. Just doesn't think it's worth the hassle as far as I can see.

My issue is, do the readers here think I am comin on too strong when I am really into the girl? It feels like that's the problem. To be honest, to avoid rejection I usually go for the less pretty girls because I think I have a better chance with them. I really don't know what's going wrong. Another year on and no girl on my arm.

I realise people have much bigger problems than me.

Thanks for reading.

Colonel_McCoy

Think you need to stop over analysing everything, you just have not met the right person yet. Just relax and it will happen. I know its cliche but when you stop looking it happens, it has for me.

Zen65

ComeOn2Strong? wrote: »

... to avoid rejection I usually go for the less pretty girls because I think I have a better chance with them. I really don't know what's going wrong. Another year on and no girl on my arm.

Are you looking for a relationship or playing a chess game? Do you want a partner or a trophy?

If you want a relationship then stop thinking about this as a game of strategy, and see where it takes you.

Be at peace,

Z

LegacyUser

Zen65 wrote: »

Are you looking for a relationship or playing a chess game? Do you want a partner or a trophy?

If you want a relationship then stop thinking about this as a game of strategy, and see where it takes you.

Be at peace,

Z

It's not that I'm playing games. Most girls I get chatting to are not the ones that caught my eye at first. Not that they are not pretty. I don't want a trophy but I want to look at her and think how did I get so lucky as to get a girl like this. I obviously also want to get on great with her, to be challenged by her. But here's the problem, I know now what I want but whenever I think I am getting closer to it, like with the girl I'm with now, it always seems to fall apart. For various reasons it just ends when I start thinking maybe this is the girl for me.

Reading back on that, I am an awful moaner, thanks for the replies guys.

It's hard to just wait for it to happen. Coming into the autumn now, usually less oportunities to meet people.

Deedsie

Whats the worst that could happen if you try initiate a conversation with the girl you notice first?

IrishEyes19

I think you need to relax a little first and in relation to your view on going for the less prettier girls because you feel you have a chance, I'm not going to get all feminist on this and say that's a bit of a shallow comment, as that isn't the question here. But if you don't mind me saying, what you consider to be a less prettier girl has just the same chance of rejecting you, as a girl who you consider to be stunning has. Being that, all relationships may start on a "how good looking" is he/she stance, but the ending decider is nearly always personality.

So I think maybe you need to take a step back from any relationships at the moment and re-access your own esteem, and understand you aren't to blame and nor is any girl for you not feeling interested in the relationship. Some people click and some don't and time will either strengthen or fade a relationship. Furthermore, sometimes going into a relationship with no expectations can help too. But if I were you, maybe work on your own esteem. best of luck!!:)