I good looking but some photo's of me appear awful :(

LegacyUser

I'm very handsome tall and broad and slim too (I'm a guy 21). I have no end to people telling me how cute and hot I am, however I have recently noticed that I hate all photo's of me unless I take them myself. Recently friends have snapped me on outings and I have to say i appear horrible and barely look like myself in them My body looks deformed and my face is unusual and my hair looks like its receading when it's not! My ears also look uneven. I feel awful now I think I'm not hot and what is worse my friends look fine, just like they do in reality so it can't be the camera any ways round this?

beks101

I have a smoking hot friend, a really petite girl with porcelain white skin, bright blue eyes, huge lips, the works...that takes an absolutely horrific picture, time and time again. It's so bad that it's a running joke among my group of friends, herself included, because she's so obviously gorgeous in real life. It's the first thing you'd notice about her to be honest.

But in most photos I've seen of her, she somehow seems a bit chubby (this girl is a size six!!), with a double chin (which she doesn't have in real life), n odd expression on her face and she looks so pale she looks sick. It's truly baffling but all you can do is laugh - she's far more attractive than most of us in real life and that's where it counts.

I don't know the science behind it but I know with myself there are some cameras that take a more flattering photo of me and some that don't. In fact some of the most photogenic people I know haven't exactly been lookers in real life.

It's really not worth stressing about OP. I know so much of life is online nowadays and I know the sheer horror of seeing a bad photo of yourself, but ultimately you know you're good-looking, others have affirmed this - you don't need every photo of yourself to reflect it as well.

Also just to take into account the fact that we are always our own worst critics, and what's a truly horrific photo of you, to yourself, looks perfectly normal to others. Most people are not going to hone in on a photo of you so closely to spot a receding hair line or whatever.

kjl

google "how to be photogenic"

antoswords

" I feel awful now I think I'm not hot and what is worse my friends look fine, just like they do in reality so it can't be the camera any ways round this?[/QUOTE]

Seriously. Maybe there is someone you can talk to, it must be really awful to think your not hot, i can only imagine. Im sure there are support groups out there for people going through the same situation.

Also, there could be a problem with the camera, i would take the camera back to where you got it and explain the situation to them just like you explained it in your post. Show them some examples of the photo's your talking about, and watch as they recoil in horror.

Or alternatively, you could get a life.

Dudess

Ok the line "I feel awful now I think I'm not hot" is a bit Paris Hilton-ish but it is quite deflating to be happy with what you see in the mirror and then... :eek: when you see a pic of yourself. I think it probably happens to most of us though OP, and while some people just don't take a good picture (like the girl in post #2) much of the "unsightliness" is due to what's going on in our own heads. I'd put money on it your friends don't think you look anywhere near as bad as you think you do.

leinsterrugby

yeah mayb these people are only trying to be nice to you. the camera doesn't lie.

Dudess

The camera can totally lie. Look at post #2 of this thread. The camera also adds lbs.

Catari Jaguar

Plus the camera puts you in a flip of how you see yourself in the mirror. Therefore you see yourself backwards and crooked. Flip it in photoshop and see if you look normal to yourself.

CDfm

Luckily I have never had this problem and look like a male model in all photos taken of me . Its like I was made for the camera and the camera loves me

Seriously though some people are all fidgety for photos and some people are active and at events just go about their normal business. In photos from my youth I was always looking somewhere else.

Thats why in lots of photos people stay still.When you watch TV see how centred and still the main characters are in their shots.

Photo's are not photoshoots & unless you deliberately prepare and pose for them you will always look like that.

Older people usually have no problems with photos because they dress deliberately and have got past the age of fidgeting and taking the mick or being distracted.

Random photos capture an event or a happening in a microsecond and unless you are positioned or posed well its always going to be like that.

You are very self conscious here -so just accept your looks for what they are and stop being so sensitive.

So unless you want to get a makeover and alter your behavior to suit camera opportunities or absent yourself from all photos (which some people do) I reckon you are stuck with it. Or like the rest of the world (except me) be content with the fact that in some photos you will be great and others not.

CDfm

Dudess wrote: »

The camera can totally lie. Look at post #2 of this thread. The camera also adds lbs.

Just saw this.

Ahh - is their a diet forum :eek:

Zaph

antoswords wrote: »

" I feel awful now I think I'm not hot and what is worse my friends look fine, just like they do in reality so it can't be the camera any ways round this?

Seriously. Maybe there is someone you can talk to, it must be really awful to think your not hot, i can only imagine. Im sure there are support groups out there for people going through the same situation.

Also, there could be a problem with the camera, i would take the camera back to where you got it and explain the situation to them just like you explained it in your post. Show them some examples of the photo's your talking about, and watch as they recoil in horror.

Or alternatively, you could get a life.

Infracted. Any more unhelpful posts like that and you'll be looking at a ban.

Nolanger

A photograph won't steal your soul, but a bad one can certainly kill your ego. Especially once it's tagged, posted online and emailed round the office before you can say “cheese”.

Unflattering photos are no trivial matter in the digital age. You use the internet to organise your social life, stay in touch, meet new people and even look for love, so your pixellated portrait holds a lot of power. Here are our tips for looking picture perfect.

1. Stand up straight

When someone whips out a camera and yells “smile,” you'll feel immediately self-conscious and start exhibiting defensive body language such as slouching and shrinking. Which is a shame, because that's exactly the kind of thing that makes you look bad in photos.

If you want more flattering pics, take control of your posture. Ditch the slouch and stand tall. Pulling your shoulders back doesn't just make you look sleeker and slimmer, it also makes you feel more confident. But do remember that this is a photo, not a military exercise. Don't stand so tall that you can't breathe.

2. Stop gurning

Self-consciousness also has an unflattering effect on your face, as you'll know from those pics where you look like a contorted bulldog. It's a vicious circle: you gurn when a camera appears because you hate photos of yourself, and you hate photos of yourself because you gurn when a camera appears.

Break the cycle by getting a grip on your gurn. When you see a camera pointing your way, close your eyes. Breathe. Relax your facial muscles. Open your eyes in time for the click, and you will look fresh, confident and at ease. (Worst case scenario, you will have your eyes shut, but at least you won't be gurning.)

3. Ask for a countdown

Timing is all. Half a second can make all the difference between a winning smile and a total face fail, so make sure you know when the click is coming. Don't be afraid to ask the snapper for a “3, 2, 1” when they're taking the photo. If you're nervous, keep your eyes closed and your mouth relaxed until after the snapper says “2,” then break out the smile and open your eyes. You'll look a lot more relaxed than you feel.

4. Know your best face

Everyone has a best side and a best smile. Don't think you do? Then you haven't paid enough attention to old photos of yourself. Go and look through some right now. Why are the bad ones so bad, and why are the good ones not so bad? Don't get fixated on things you can't change (eg “the good ones were taken before 1988”). Instead, look for angles and expressions that flatter you.

Warning: the “best side forward” habit can be hard to break. Mariah Carey allegedly insists on being photographed only from the right, while Barbra Streisand reportedly likes it from the left, as did 1930s Hollywood actress Claudette Colbert, who had entire sets rebuilt to flatter her. Claudette passed away in 1996, a year before the cameraphone was born. Probably just as well.

5. Put away your double chin

Even the skinniest necks can grow a little flesh pillow when there's a camera in the room, so banish the wobble with this old modelling trick: touch the roof of your mouth with your tongue when you smile. Practice in front of the mirror a few times to make sure that you're getting the intended effect (taught chin, long neck, winning smile) rather than the unintended effect (lunatic with fat tongue).

6. Do the red carpet pose

Here's another trick from women* who get paid to be photogenic. When a camera threatens to photograph your entire body, don't face it head-on. The resulting photo will make you look broader than you are. It'll be like Gok Wan in reverse.

Avoid this by standing side-on and turning your upper body towards the camera. This posture slims your body and emphasises your waist. True devotees of the pose tend to stick one leg out the front and put their hand on their hip – voila, thinner-looking pins and an elongated upper arm. For more details, see Victoria Beckham.(* Men who try this pose will just look like they're running away. Fellas should face the camera squarely and avoid making silly hand gestures.)

7. Have a laugh

Fake smiles rarely look real and are almost never flattering, but laughs are much easier to manipulate. This is partly because a laugh is a great tension-reliever, and a forced laugh often leads to a real one. Occasionally ridiculous; always effective.

8. Smile with your eyes

If fake laughs and toothy smiles are too cheesy for you (or you just don't like your teeth), don't worry: say it with your eyes instead. Body language can be extremely powerful in photos, and your eyes are the strongest weapon in your body language armoury. Smiling eyes beguile people for all the right reasons.

9. Beware glinty glasses

In person, your specs make you look gorgeous and smart. In a flash photo, your specs make you look like you're wearing mirror shades. Unless this is the look you were going for, we'd recommend removing the bins and showing off your eyes.

10. Direct light bad, indirect light good

Specs wearers and vampires aren't the only ones who should be wary of light shining right at their faces. A faceful of bright sunshine makes you squint, frown, sneer and screw up your features in a kind of double-chinned grimace. So remember, kids: don't look into the sun, especially if someone's got a camera.

Zen65

ohgawd wrote: »

Recently friends have snapped me on outings and I have to say i appear horrible and barely look like myself in them My body looks deformed and my face is unusual and my hair looks like its receading when it's not! My ears also look uneven.

Remember that what you see in the mirror is a restricted image of yourself. It is not possible to see your own profile in the mirror, because the face angle at which you are able to see yourself is limited.

Your mirror image of course is also reversed left-right.

That's not to say that the camera is more accurate. The camera can record transient facial images which the eye cannot easily see (i.e. when you are moving your face moves "between expressions" but people will only recall seeing the more static images of your face).

These are three reasons why photos of other people seem more accurate, but photos of yourself seem distorted. It's therefore easy to like your own reflection, but find your photo image to be less appealing. The conflict between the two types of image in your own mind makes the less familiar (photo) seem less attractive to you.

Of course, some people just look bad in photos, and some cameras take bad pictures. I recently reviewed a photo library of some 50 staff who all looked awful in their staff photo ID. Camera phones will, in general, take poor quality pictures (something to do with the aperture I'm told, but I'm not well versed on matters photographic).

People who see you in the flesh do not have this perception distortion going on in their heads, so they do not feel uncomfortable with your appearance.

If it really troubles you, get a professional photographer to take a picture of you.

The best advice I can give you is to stop thinking about it. At the end of the day, it does not matter how you appear in photos unless you intend to be an actor or model.

Be at peace,

Z

LegacyUser

This is the OP here, thanks for the responces, some were very helpful. I have being out again recently and had some photo's taken and I improved on my posture and wore clothes with suited me better, I have to say I looked OK this times and I wasn't as tired as the oringinal outing where I had an hour's sleep. However I really need to ask as I cannot get a correct answer when I google but Which is more accurate of how you really look to other people; the camera or the mirror? It's a simple question really. I don't feel as bad as I did before I suppose, I don't don't think I looked as well as I did in the mirror so now I don't have faith in mirror's anymore becasue I believe they mislead us into thinking we are something we are not. Do other's feel this way now?

Jaxxy

Try not to worry too much about this OP. The fact is, as others have already said, not everyone takes a good picture. I myself firmly believe I am extremely unphotogenic, but I am very happy with my appearance and most days like what I see in the mirror.

If you've previously liked what you saw in the mirror then I don't see why you should change your opinion based on the fact that you take a bad photograph. Try not to dwell on it too much as it will very quickly turn into an obsession and you will damage your self-confidence. If you look at yourself in the mirror and think you look good do not question it, trust yourself. It is quite possible now that you're questioning your attractiveness because you've had a bit of a confidence knock with regard to these pictures.

going un-reg

Ok, I'm not going to sugar coat this like most have here.

You get compliments left right and center, correct? you're saying you're worried because photos of you dont depict you correctly, yea, so? since when do photographs mean more than actually meeting someone face to face?

I'm a good looking, attractive guy, but I can't tell you how many times I look retarded in photos I have of myself. Think of people with severe physical deformities, people with facial burn scars, people with out of proportion features (oddly large nose, ears). Once you think of such situations, you'll find that your situation is better than most.

We take for granted so much in this life, know you're a good looking guy and stop complaining about how you're percieved in photos. Sorry to sound abrupt but put yourself in other peoples shoes who are worse off, you'll find you have no issues at all.

Naos

Op - what is your actual reason for caring about this?

You've people telling you you're good looking, so whats the problem?

It works in your favour that if a girl see's you in and then in real life, you'll look better than she expected which puts you ahead.

Dudess

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Try not to worry too much about this OP. The fact is, as others have already said, not everyone takes a good picture. I myself firmly believe I am extremely unphotogenic, but I am very happy with my appearance and most days like what I see in the mirror.

I think I'm unphotogenic too (yet also happy with what I see in the mirror) however a friend of mine said I was photogenic the other day and that she looks a right state in photos. Eh... she's gordge!
So I think much of it is our arsehole minds giving us confidence-shattering messages. :pac:

going un-reg wrote: »

Ok, I'm not going to sugar coat this like most have here.

You get compliments left right and center, correct? you're saying you're worried because photos of you dont depict you correctly, yea, so? since when do photographs mean more than actually meeting someone face to face?

I'm a good looking, attractive guy, but I can't tell you how many times I look retarded in photos I have of myself. Think of people with severe physical deformities, people with facial burn scars, people with out of proportion features (oddly large nose, ears). Once you think of such situations, you'll find that your situation is better than most.

We take for granted so much in this life, know you're a good looking guy and stop complaining about how you're percieved in photos. Sorry to sound abrupt but put yourself in other peoples shoes who are worse off, you'll find you have no issues at all.

I don't think people are sugarcoating, just saying pretty much what you've said yourself. Yeah of course there are worse things to be worried about, but problems are relative and should be considered in context. The OP's a young lad - sh1t like that worries lots of us when we're his age, if we're lucky enough not to have gone through anything really devastating. And I don't think there's any need to apologise for that.

OP, with regards to your question: which is more accurate, the mirror or the photograph? I would say both are distortions - the mirror because of reversal, the photograph because we either get caught in the middle of chatting/gurning/whatever, or we're striking an unnatural pose.

Jaxxy

Dudess wrote: »

I think I'm unphotogenic too (yet also happy with what I see in the mirror) however a friend of mine said I was photogenic the other day and that she looks a right state in photos. Eh... she's gordge!
So I think much of it is our arsehole minds giving us confidence-shattering messages. :pac:

You know I think you have a great point there, and when I thought about it I remembered a friend of mine also commenting on a photograph of me taken at a party. She said it was a lovely picture of me and I looked at her like she had two heads, because I was convinced I looked like a deformed alien in it.

Sometimes we're our own harshest critics. Perhaps a video would be a more accurate representation than a photograph or a mirror, as it is constant, catches your entire self and doesn't freeze-frame when you're in the middle of changing expression.

Dudess

I think the pictures of ourselves we consider horrific are viewed by our friends as photos where we were caught at a split second not looking our best - well I know that's how I view those of my friends. But I'm not gonna start thinking "Jeez, bad pic - never realised what a state xyz was, won't be considering them hot ever again!"

It's kinda similar to when you hear your voice recorded. Bar the odd egotistical radio presenter, I have never heard ANYONE say they have anything but disdain for their voices when they hear a recording of it.

Kanoe

..eh I'm quite pretty I'll have you know.

really, I don't do photos either, can't stand looking at my mug for more than 5 mins when I see one. wouldn't worry about it.. beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

blairbear

My friends are always saying to me I'm really photogenic. I've about a thousand pictures tagged of me on facebook and they're all fine. What my friends don't know is that I've probably untagged about two thousand of myself! There's been a few of me that were so horrendous they put me in a bad mood for the day.

People can say you're superficial but Facebook etc does play a big part in young people's lives. Even if some posters think this is totally ridiculous, it doesn't change the fact that it's true. There's been times where just before I add a guy I like/have met out and fancied, I make sure I've my favourite profile picture up! It does make a difference to how you feel about yourself at times. I only really like the photos I take on my own camera. I can delete the ones I want to and make sure they're not at awkward angles of me.

I know one guy in particular who is completely stunning in real life. A big, built, muscular type who I fancied the pants off and scored on a night out. We added each other on FB the next day and his pictures were wretched. He even said to me that he was embarrassed over them. It didn't make me think, "oh well, his FB pictures are rotten, I don't fancy him any more". I just thought that he wasn't too photogenic..and didn't know how to pose. I took some of him on a night out then on my camera and was messing telling him which way to pose (I fancy myself as a bit of a photographer!), but they actually turned out amazing! You need to "learn your angles", as in which side/pose you look best from.

Fittle

I would put my last penny on the fact that this is a facebook problem.

Your friends are tagging you in photos on fb and you look crap in them op, am i right?

Dudess

blairbear wrote: »

People can say you're superficial but Facebook etc does play a big part in young people's lives. Even if some posters think this is totally ridiculous, it doesn't change the fact that it's true.

Exactly. And then if people express being happy with how they look, they're considered superficial in the vain sense - damned do, damned don't! :pac:

I have blocked tagging of pics of me - it's a feature I absolutely hate.