Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest
Flicking the cold switch?
-
23-08-2010 10:52am#1
Comments
-
-
-
-
-
Well OP - you have my sympathy on that one
Have just had a similar situation myself - tho I'm a guy and the cold switch flicker was a lady.
Like yourself - met this particular woman in a bar in a local village a few months ago whilst out with a few mates - bit of chat and a laugh and nothing more than first evening - and just thought she was nice and nothing more really - ran into her again a couple of weeks later in the same place -much much longer chat and we exchanged numbers - I was definitely interested now - she ticked all the boxes , smart, witty, pretty and time just seemed to fly when we talked - a bit of texting the following week - nothing heavy -just a bit of banter - in the mean-time one of my friends had got it together in double quick time with one of her friends and were keeping an eye on us - I was gently advised that I should take it real real easy and slow with herself as she was a bit all over the place with a recent family bereavement that hit her hard and a bit of previous in unhappy relationships - but that she liked me - So when we all met the following weekend - we just talked for hours and had our heads together (no kissin!) for most of the evening - I did commit a faux pas of texting her straight afterwards to say how much I enjoyed spending time with her and that I really really liked her - but nothing OTT compared to some classics I've blurted out in the past !-I was trying to play it vaguely cool and calm even tho the more I got know her the more I wanted to know - she knows I fancy her - women know these things! - even so the next day we carried on texting over the next couple of week - somedays for 8-9 hours straight - somedays one or two -bit of gentle flirting - but normally sticking to our interests,current affairs,cooking, music etc etc - again I was amazed how much we had in common and shared and got each others sense of humour and how easy it was to talk to each other -we talked about everything except personal issues which we steered clear -and given the advice by her friend - made no serious attempt to get her out on a "date"- A) because I was kind of unsure where this thing was headed and there is nothing surer than delving into the land of ex's and past relationships to have you tumbling into the Friendzone before you know it -from where there is no escape and I wanted it to be clear I was interested in her and not her past which is really none of my business
I liked the way things were developing and was prepared to take it slow - maybe it wouldn't go anywhere romantically in the end - but she was playing real cool so I really couldn't rule anything out or in.
Cut a long story short here - a couple of weekends ago - I was out a few different friends in the same town - we spent most of the night in a different pub and as we were walking back to my car we passed the pub where I had met my textfriend previously - the lads wanted to go for "one for the road" so we went in.....we were chatting away there listening to the live music and herself and a friend come thru the door - and this where things get bizarre - they passed straight by me to the other end of the pub - not a "hi how you doing" or anything - spent a couple of minutes briefly glancing over in my direction before speeding right by me again and hotfooting out of the establishment completely - I was gobsmacked to put it lightly.........and slowly quite angry...........we left the pub ourselves soon after that and when I dropped the lads off and bumbed a ciggie - I pulled in to the side of the road at a layby - took a drag of the smoke and just tried to figure out what the hell had just transpired - I just couldn't put my finger on it - but , leaving everything else aside - it was the height of bad manners - I'm in my late 30's - she is a few years younger - as you said above - this is playground stuff - teenage carry-on - I'll always give somebody the benefit of the doubt - but nobody disses me like that!
I finished the cigarette - and deleted her number and texts out of my phone and drove home and we haven't been in contact since.
Sure Its been bugging me ever since - but Im damned if I going to contact her to find out why - she has my number and I think Im the one whose owed the explanation here and I have my standards - but I've a feeling its not going to be forthcoming in the near future.
OP - the simple fact here is that you know very little about what is going on in somebody's head or life in those embryonic stages of a relationship........you just don't know.............for whatever reason - its their perogative to turn the switch - maybe they are playing games, maybe mutual friends indulged in some careless whispers, maybe they found that there was suddenly pressure in what was going on and they bailed...and sometimes they are simply just not into you in that way...there are so many variables at work here.
Main thing is - dont be blaming yourself - Like you - I like to know the reason why something didnt work out - but sometimes you have to go with the flow and just accept that you will probably never know and that a lot of people haven't got the balls or the decency to tell you to your face.
Chin up - chalk it down to experience and move on with your life - as an old friend of mine says - "If its 4 you - it wont pass you by" - sometimes you have to resist the temptation to delve -
I really like this woman - as I said she ticks all the boxes and has the certain "Je ne sais quoi" about her and they don't come along every day- but Im not going to go down on my knees metaphorically and physically here for her - not at this stage -not at my age and experience - I'll back off for now and maybe might thro a curveball back into her court again in a month or two and see what transpires- but it will be on my terms - I suggest you do the same! - you'll feel all the better for it and you'll be respected for it too.
Best of luck with it -0 -
Advertisement
-
-
-
-
OldNotWIse wrote: »Nope he sent them, not me. Turns out that I apparently sent him a drunken text telling him I was having second thoughts and he thought I was no longer interested.
What else would that mean ?
0 -
-
Advertisement
-
-
-
-
OldNotWIse wrote: »Our paths have begun crossing again in work (bad form I know!) but he seems to be all talk...
Do ye work together could you not arrange the same shifts, i'm confused 0 -
Advertisement