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Am I on the rebound or what?

  • 23-08-2010 10:55am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi everyone,

    I broke up with my ex about 2 months ago. I was going out with her for about 3.5years. I did love her but I ended the relationship because we fought too much and I was afraid of too much commitment. By the last few months of the relationship I came to realise I probably didn't love her any more. I'm 25.

    Anyway, I've been seeing a new girl for the last few weeks, I've met her probably 10 times and we get on great. We've slept together a number of times too. I've started getting a bit anxious since Saturday night though. She got very drunk unfortunately cuz we were out with all her friends, and she started saying that she was probably just a rebound and she didn't want that etc. I never ever brough up the fact I was just out of a relationship except the first time I met her when we were at a mutual friend's birthday and I was only saying it as coversation. As soon as we flirted with each other I never brought it up again of course. After Saturday tho we had a great wkend and I went on a trip with her and her friends.

    I have just broken one girls heart (and my own). I really really can't stand to do the same to the new girl even tho we get on well and there's no real problem. I'm just scared she's right or something. What is true though is I really don't want a commited relationship and I'm afarid she might.

    Anyone else been in a similar situation?
    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'd like to know if anyone has any advice on this matter at all...
    I feel like I'm under pressure now because if things don't work out I'll be really cruel in her eyes because she'll think I used her. We both have a good time together though. There is a possibility that I am using her, which scares me. I don't really trust my feelings sometimes. I do want to continue seeing her but I'm afraid of hurting her... really don't know what to do.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Sounds like you're using her. after 2 months, regardless of what reasons u had for ending your previous relationship, you still spent 3 and a half years with this girl, so of course there are going to be aspects of the relationship you're not over. Relationships so soon after a long term one ending very VERY rarely work - you even fear that you are using her, and say u dont want a serious relationship right now - have some respect for this new girl, she's more or less told u she's looking for something serious, and you know in your heart you're not ready - stop seeing her now, before you both become utterly miserable. you're not being fair to yourself, or her.


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