22, dating girl with kid.

LegacyUser

Hey all,

I just got into the online dating scene to see what its like, I haven't really dated much so I'm a bit clueless on a few things... I'm 22 turning 23 by the way.

I contacted this girl and I just found out she has a child. She seems really nice and we have loads in common, I'm just not sure how to proceed. Would you go out with someone who has a child? If things were to get serious I don't think I'd be able for any sort of responsibility in that aspect.

I wouldn't mind going out with her a few times for a bit of fun but I wouldn't want to lead her on if ya get me... I dunno any advice?

Kidchameleon

Forgetting about the kid for a moment, you probably shouldn't go out with ANYONE with a fear of "leading them on" unless they are just looking for fun also. This girl is a single parent, so she has most likely been messed around by a guy before, so leave her be if you plan to leave her high and dry because of a child...

LighterGuy

I'd feel the same as you op....

but its nice you wouldnt want to lead her on. Says you're an ok guy.
So your better off just being up front and saying you're not looking for anything serious. Sure for all you know she could feel the same. So its best to mention it.

But note, actually meeting someone from dating sites is what matter. People can chat for ages and to never meet. So dont count your chickens just yet.



But on the subject of dating a women with a kid.As a guy, i wouldnt want to date a parent. As you say what if it got serious. I would just see problems down the line. Sure whats the old line "everyone wants a family on day, not a ready made family" ....

magneticimpulse

I think its quite harsh on the girl, to judge her by having a child. I know personally i would prefer someone without kids. But you say you seem to like her and get on great with her.

As another poster said...regardless of whether the girl has a child or not, do you really want to lead anyone on if your not really serious for a relationship? It can mess up alot of girls (not just ones with kids) if you are just looking for fun.

I would chat to her about it, about what you want, something not serious, and see how she feels about it. Being honest is always the best policy, that way people can make informed choices about their life and if they are into the same things too

King of Kings

Kidchameleon wrote: »

Forgetting about the kid for a moment, you probably shouldn't go out with ANYONE with a fear of "leading them on" unless they are just looking for fun also. This girl is a single parent, so she has most likely been messed around by a guy before, so leave her be if you plan to leave her high and dry because of a child...

I've dated a lot of single parents - being one myself prob meant we'd a lot in common - and in my experience this statement is way off the mark.
You have no idea she was messed about before just some wild assumption that her previous relationship ended badly.
Also in my experience single parents were the least interested in a relationship a kinda "been there done that " scenario and were happy to date and keep things simple.

OP just go out with her as you would somebody without a kid. If she is special that meeting the kid and so forth will come naturally.
The responsibility for her kid aspect will only come into play years down the line. You're jumping the gun a bit.

Kidchameleon

King of Kings wrote: »

I've dated a lot of single parents - being one myself prob meant we'd a lot in common - and in my experience this statement is way off the mark.

Single parent myself, I said most likely, just to clarify.

LegacyUser

Hey OP,

Just wanted to give you a pat on the back *pat pat* for having the maturity, at your age, to:

a) know what you want and don't want.
b) have the respect and empathy to realize you could hurt someone.
c) realize you're not sure how to avoid hurting that someone.
d) ask for help.

Well done, sir. It's so refreshing to see a 19 year old guy that cares about treating the opposite sex well.

King of Kings

Kidchameleon wrote: »

Single parent myself, I said most likely, just to clarify.

It was the most likely bit I disagreed with tbh from my experience.
But let the OP read all advise and decide himself.