Friends in College?

Adequate

I was just wondering how hard is it to make friends in college? After how long do you drift away from your school mates? For the summer, I seem to have been going out regularly with my school buddies, and am wondering if this will still be the case in first year in college?

Please enlighten me, because I have no clue what to expect heading into first year.

Cheers!

Celly Smunt

Adequate wrote: »

I was just wondering how hard is it to make friends in college? After how long do you drift away from your school mates? For the summer, I seem to have been going out regularly with my school buddies, and am wondering if this will still be the case in first year in college?

Please enlighten me, because I have no clue what to expect heading into first year.

Cheers!

you might as well forget your school friends now,everybody goes their seperate ways

huddlejonny

up to you mate, i'd drop them like a hot snot if the did that to me..;):D

Wolfe Tone

I did TY while most of my friends skipped it. They all still hung around with me this last year when they were in 1st year of Uni.

alwaysadub

Adequate wrote: »

I was just wondering how hard is it to make friends in college? After how long do you drift away from your school mates? For the summer, I seem to have been going out regularly with my school buddies, and am wondering if this will still be the case in first year in college?

Please enlighten me, because I have no clue what to expect heading into first year.

Cheers!

Surely if you're really good mates with them, you don't have to drift away from them?

ironictoaster

Depends, some keep in touch others don't. I usually talk to college friends more than secondary school friends.

It's not hard to make friends in 1st year, you're all in the same boat. Join clubs and societies.

Einhard

Adequate wrote: »

I was just wondering how hard is it to make friends in college? After how long do you drift away from your school mates? For the summer, I seem to have been going out regularly with my school buddies, and am wondering if this will still be the case in first year in college?

Please enlighten me, because I have no clue what to expect heading into first year.

Cheers!

If it's anything like my first year, it'll be absolutely amazing. Made a tonne of friends, and was lucky enough that most of the people I hung around with at home went to UCD too. Indeed my next door neighbour from home ended up as my neighbour in Belgrove (UCD campus accom for the uninitiated), and my best friend from school ended up across the square. Failed first year spectacularly, but wouldn't have changed a single thing about the whole year. My sister is starting college in a few weeks, and I'm more excited about it than she is!!

Nemanja91

Well it depends, are you all going to the same college or are you going to different counties or what? It is actually fairly easy to make new friends in college. None of my group of friends since school have grown apart and we still head out most days with each other.

Einhard

alwaysadub wrote: »

Surely if you're really good mates with them, you don't have to drift away from them?

It's sad but it happens.

starbelgrade

The friends you meet in college will be the friends that stay with you for life. In my experience, at least.

Einhard

starbelgrade wrote: »

The friends you meet in college will be the friends that stay with you for life. In my experience, at least.

That sounds like a eupemism for crabs!! Something you're trying to tell us star??

GLaDOS

My friends from secondary and the friends I've made as a result of them are still my main group of friends

starbelgrade

Einhard wrote: »

That sounds like a eupemism for crabs!! Something you're trying to tell us star??

Yes. All my friends are CRAB PEOPLE!

alwaysadub

alwaysadub wrote: »

Surely if you're really good mates with them, you don't have to drift away from them?

It always happens...

Agricola

I still keep in contact with school friends more than college people, 10 years after leaving. In my experience the bond you form with people from childhood is stronger than that of friendships in later years. Its almost like a brotherly thing. I would be much closer to school friends than any others.
Alot of it is obviously down to the person though. I dont make friends easily and prefer a small close knit group that I know well, to having loads of casual acquaintances.

Mars Bar

I'm still in contact with my best friends from secondary school. I regularly meet my two best friends but it helped that one of them was in Limerick too. Loads of my friends from primary and secondary school turned 21 this year so that helped with renewing some friendships.

I haven't seen any of my college friends since I got my holidays.

Useful.Idiot

Come home from college every weekend and see all my friends from home. Most of my college friends are also from my hometown, the others I would rarely see during summer.

Fringe

Finished first year and haven't seen any of my college friends this summer. In fact I've only been hanging out with my old friends.

phasers

I have one friend in college, everyone else is either a dickhead or sticks to their group. everybody seemed to form little cliques within about 2 days

I don't really speak to my school friends anymore, I mostly hang out with my... non educational instution friends?

wonderfulname

you'll make friends before the first semester kicks off, its half of what orientation week is all about. where you going? or are you unsure till the morning?

desertcircus

It's different from person to person. I'm only in touch with one friend from secondary school and one from primary, but loads of friends I made in college. If you're a nerd in secondary school (and I should make it quite clear that I'm not saying that in a negative way, rather in the having-a-very-specific-interest way), I think you're more likely to end up closer to college friends; clubs and societies, and the size of colleges and universities, mean that someone who loves, say, free jazz and fencing will go from knowing nobody in school who shares those interests to having two huge circles of friends who do, including a few who love both.

pakb1ue

In Secondary School I had a big group of friends and I was really close with about 3 lads, like we did everything together. Then we went off to college and for first year we all stayed in contact but then after that it went straight downhill. We all finished college this year (strangely enough we all did 4 year courses) and I havent seen some of the lads in nearly two years.

I didnt know anyone when I went to my college but by the end of first year I knew loads of people and even then I didnt talk to some people after first year as we just went different paths.

As for them groups that knew each other before going to college, they end up having a lesser good time.

Join as many clubs as you can as this is where you meet the most people.

ATM I only still hang around with lads from my course and the lads I grew up with around my estate.

bazmaiden

It's pretty much impossible not to make friends in college, you'll be fine

girvtheswerve

bazmaiden wrote: »

It's pretty much impossible not to make friends in college, you'll be fine

-Sums it up. College is great for new friends. Dont worry about it. You can easily stay in touch with your home friends if you want to.

bazmaiden

ironictoaster wrote: »

Join clubs and societies.

don't join these groups unless you are not interested in what the club offers

girvtheswerve wrote: »

-Sums it up. College is great for new friends. Dont worry about it. You can easily stay in touch with your home friends if you want to.

very important

mloc

I'm out of school 8 years and still friends with my mates from school. I also have loads of friends from college.

I tend to introduce people to each other so the lines are blurred between "school" and "college" friends. I don't really distinguish. A good friend is a good friend, regardless.

Pace2008

pmcmahon wrote: »

you might as well forget your school friends now,everybody goes their seperate ways

That's completely untrue in my case. Your own personal experience doesn't always reflect everyone else's.

Dudess

Depends on what course you're doing maybe. I did arts and there were hundreds and hundreds and I wouldn't see people from one end of the week to the next, so initially I was hanging around with school friends still... but after a while, a social network formed in college.

For my postgrad though, there were 25 of us in the class for the year so we all became mates straightaway. Definitely a better situation than under-grad - for me anyway. I found though that the college years were the best ones for making friends - not just within college but via stuff like going out and your part-time job.

christina_x

just finished 1st year and although myself and my friends found it hard to stay in touch, we have still stayed close and meet up when we can. But if your true friends you dont need to stay in contact all the time to stay close, we havnt and when we meet up its like we were never apart! Aslong as theres no "they've changed" ****e then there wont be too much of a problem as long as you make an effort - nobodys changed, they just have new things going on in their life, just like you. to sum it up - as i tend to rant - meet up when you can, but aslong as you dont let the seperation effect you then it wont :cool:

xflyer

It's funny with friends sometimes. You spend all day with them, share intimacies with them. Work with them, drink with them, sleep with them. Then one day you wave goodbye, tell them 'See you later' and you never see them again. That's the way of things. Most people I liked have vanished off the face of the Earth as far as I was concerned. I have about five friends left, three are women, two men. As a man I only see the two men and that's because they keep in touch with me. Of the three women, two are facebook but good friends and one visits. It's tricky with women friends when you are married and male.

As for school. I only ever met two boys from my class, both because they got jobs in the same company as me at one stage and that was sixteen years ago.

The one advantage of being a bloke is that you can have friends you have never seen in many, many years. But when you meet them it's as if you only left each other last week. So I have lots and lots of friends who I will never meet again but who will remember me as a friend if I ever became famous.

My best friend right now is my wife, but she doesn't understand me. Nothing new there!

Most of my current friends are her friends because she has lots.

ordinary_girl

phasers wrote: »

I have one friend in college, everyone else is either a dickhead or sticks to their group. everybody seemed to form little cliques within about 2 days

Is this usually commonplace?

THall04

Originally Posted by phasers
I have one friend in college, everyone else is either a dickhead or sticks to their group. everybody seemed to form little cliques within about 2 days

Rest_Energy wrote: »

Is this usually commonplace?

I find these comments depressingly sad.

When you go to college , you will make new friends.

From my own experience you may loose contact with the friends you've grown up with.....for a few years....but in the long term , your more likely to stay in contact with those you shared your teenage years with.



But hang on a minute...........
Everybody now has a mobile phone...you also have e-mail/facebook/twitter...etc......It's never been easier to keep in contact with people you know.

Some time ago (I'am a bit of an old fart now) ....a girl I knew from college had to post me a letter, to let me know when would be a good time to phone her house.......I had to walk over a half a mile in pissing rain to the nearest phone box to call her....her father answered ,but she was out.....I stood in that freezing cold phone box for another hour....called again, and got to talk to her...it was worth it.........But with all this new technology nowadays ,You young'uns don't know how lucky you are..;)

The Maverick

Just finished 1st year of college myself. It took me a while to make friends and when I did, it wasn't a huge group but thats always how I've been.

I still am much more friendly with my school friends. Theres a core group who I see all the time and then a few others who I don't see as often but when we do meet up or go out, it's like we've never been apart.

As people have already said, try and get to know as many people as you can in your course but don't give up on your old friends either. You don't have to ditch one group to befriend another.

anniehoo

pmcmahon wrote: »

you might as well forget your school friends now,everybody goes their seperate ways

Balls! Im 10 yrs out of college and id be lost without them. I met my bestest bud when i was 14 and nothins changed!

starbelgrade wrote: »

The friends you meet in college will be the friends that stay with you for life. In my experience, at least.

One of my best mates i have now i met on my v first (nerve wrackin) day.She sat beside me and we were both like "meh,no clue who you are but i like the look of ya!"

Friendships take time and effort..but good effort if they're worth it. Lost a lot along the way but the mates i have now, i have for life.

Best 4 yrs of my life..college!!Some craic...you'll have a ball.The first few mts are a pain in the arse thoughWrite off your first semester as a nightmare.After xmas itll be a different story...you're all in the same boat no matter how confident everyone else seems.;)

landsleaving

phasers wrote: »

I have one friend in college, everyone else is either a dickhead or sticks to their group. everybody seemed to form little cliques within about 2 days

That pretty much sums up my experience of UCD, everyone just sort of gravitated towards anyone who looked vaguely similar to them. Kind of amusing though when you think of them as herds of various animals in a nature documentary.

'And here we have the common 'bimbo', with her dyed blonder hair, fake tan and brand new, extremely unconvincing Dublin 4 accent. The bimbo travels in herds of up to twenty members, and is rarely seen alone....

My advice OP, do a course with a small amount of people on it, and in something that interests you, then everyone has something in common. If you end up in a course with loads of people, try meet up with people from tutorials and other small groupings. Oh and don't do arts in UCD or anything like it. I get the impression only about 1 in 100 people doing it are in any way interested in the course and might have something in common with you.

As for societies, I've found them to be a formally established clique and little more. Maybe I'm just unlucky, but I've found them to be pretty unwelcoming at best, downright rude at worst. Sports teams tend to be a better bet.

Anna Molly

I still keep in contact with school friends. I see some of them in Dublin as they go to college there, mind you there are few that I WANT to keep in contact with. I see my best friend that I've known since I was knee high to a grasshopper every week or so, when I go home.

I see my college friends more often, but they live in Dublin so it just works out that way! I don't think it's hard to make friends, just don't be afraid to talk to people. DOn't be that annoying person that doesn't stop talking, though.

Horse_box

You wont drift from your school friends if they truely are your friends. I'm out of secondary school 4 years now and I'm still best mates with the lads I met in primary school!

Your true friends will always be there, even though you might see them less as you get older and have more responsibilitys

fakearms123

To be honest the friends I made back in school are the friends I will have for life, we went through primary school together and then secondary school so I have known them for years and years. When I went to college I made a lot of friends, we would hang out before and after classes and head out together but each summer I would rarely talk to them, maybe its just me, when I went home on the weekends I wouldnt talk to them that much, maybe a comment on bebo/facebook, the main time we hung out was when I was up in college and now that Im not in college anymore I went back to my life long friends, my school friends

Brendog

My friends from scondary school still keep in touch...but not alot because I was mates with the lads the year ahead of me...

Corkladddd!!

Just as someone in College, about to start final year, I have about 10 friends ( I classify friends as being able to ring whenever wherever to help ya out, people you can talk honestly to, people that to be honest use my house as theirs and vice versa) and 1000s of acquaintances.
MY friends are roughly spilt 50/50 from school college and we'd talk nearly every day (text, facebook, email whatever) and acquaintances are people I meet every so often, have a chat and enjoy doing so but I might not meet again for days/weeks/months and not be generally too bothered.
I think that most people have their close school friends and they will continue to be close friends but the other 80?? people in your Leaving Cert class that you used to only meet in school or by coincidence on a night out will continue to be the same to you i.e. you enjoy meeting them but it is rare that you deliberately set about organising to meet them. If that makes sense??

jackiebaron

Adequate wrote: »

I was just wondering how hard is it to make friends in college? After how long do you drift away from your school mates? For the summer, I seem to have been going out regularly with my school buddies, and am wondering if this will still be the case in first year in college?

Please enlighten me, because I have no clue what to expect heading into first year.

Cheers!

You'll find that after 1st year, the people you hung out with in college are **** and you'll drift away from them and eventually develop a set of mates through 2nd and 3rd year that you'll probably regard as your set of college buds. As for your school mates....you'll find that you will have more crap to do (studying, etc) so you won't be knocking around with them everyday. Also you'll be piss poor so you can forget massive sessions all the time (especially if they are working....does anyone work in Ireland anymore?).
Whatever you do, don't get into a relationship in college. It's lame and she'll dump you in your final year. Better to find a trashy, busty shag-buddy from the science faculty.

prinz

Almost all my best friends now are college friends. Have no contact with anyone I went to school with anymore.

El Siglo

I'd say I'm good friends with about four people I went to school with, and about six I went college with. The rest are just people that you'd chat to but wouldn't really care about.
You know your friends when you might not see them for about six months and then you see them and it's as if you'd been talking to them the day before.
But some of the best friends I have I met in two tutorials in first year of college.

I miss being an undergrad again!:pac:

davey17

2 of my friends are going to be going to the same college as me and want to share a room for 1st year ..is that a bad idea?cause i prob wont try as hard and stick to them or should i just live on my own and try make new friends aswell?

wicklowstar

Rest_Energy wrote: »

Is this usually commonplace?

Yeah, that is exactly it!!
They are the cool kids..
Im from the country so no one really talks to me, except one guy from westmeath.

Sea Sharp

Just don't act like a narcissistic a$$hole and you'll be grand.

AnonoBoy

Sea Sharp wrote: »

Just don't act like a narcissistic a$$hole and you'll be grand.

Is that not what college is for?

bazmaiden

wicklowstar wrote: »

Yeah, that is exactly it!!
They are the cool kids..
Im from the country so no one really talks to me, except one guy from westmeath.

you must be in ucd brah,


but seroiusly, i was in college in both London and Galway and its well easy to make friends regardless of what course you are doing

DOC09UNAM

All our friends went seperate ways, and I made friends in college, and then started going out in there towns, so now i have 3-4 areas of college friends where i can go out.

That said, even though all of us in secondary school went different ways, we try to meet up for a pint every month or two to shoot the shít and all the other craic.