Need help getting over someone.

LegacyUser

Ok going unreg for this one.
I'm 18, just finished school. Yes, I know, puppy love etc. I've heard it all before.

I met a girl last summer through a cousin of mine. We got on well and even though she lives on the opposite end on the country we were on and off since then. I broke it off with her a little halloween last year, couldn't hack the long distance thing any longer and hadn't seen her for a few months, but I soon regretted it and we got back together just after xmas. Broke up around April. We'd had a little row, but nothing to break up over so I had no idea why and was left wondering (read: going insane) for about a month, until my cousin found out and told me that her parents were separating and she couldn't cope with it. I had no idea about this. I would have had no problem trying to support and comfort her, but she basically refused to open up at all. She didn't even tell her best friends about it. My cousin only found out because the father said it.

About a month ago she was here on a little holiday with the same cousin and we met up and basically were together again for the time she was here. Then she went home and a few weeks later I went to that cousin's place for a while and it was the exact same (they live near each other).
Now we were very clear that we weren't back together, it was just a fling as she has an important academic year ahead of her (Leaving cert) and didn't want a boyfriend as it would be too much for her to deal with (she has problems at home, so is often quite stressed) on top of that her mother did not approve at all, because when I had broken up with her she was in bits.

So the day before I left, we had a little breakup moment. I have to admit I was more than a little disappointed, as I will soon be moving to the area and thought maybe that would take enough hassle out of the situation to make it possible. But I guess it's fair enough. She was pretty harsh about it and said she didn't love me, and she was bored etc. but literally the day before this she was confessing her undying love, and a couple of days before that we went further sexually than ever before (we didn't get to see much of each other)... I reckon it was to dissuade me from trying to win her back etc... Was still a bit much though, and I was quite badly hurt. She then told me she might like to give it a go once she's finished school (That's a year away, so really can't tell how either of us will feel then.)

Basically, I'm still pretty sore about the whole thing and feel like our relationship never got a chance to run it's natural course. We barely got to see each other because her parents are pretty over-protective. I'd say we didn't even spend a total of 30 days together. Half of them I'd to go to her house if I wanted to see her. Most of the time we had to talk on the phone and what not.

What's also bugging me is something largely unimportant so I'm not really sure why it's getting at me so much. During her visit here, I asked her to my debs ball (something I'd normally not give a toss about) and she said she would come. While we had broken up in November she agreed to go to a friend of a friend's debs, it's much closer to home. At first I was a little uncomfortable with this as when I had visited her a good while ago one of her friends had let slip in front of me that this guy fancied her, but really I wasn't bothered. She's entitled to go on a night out with her friends like, and I trusted her. But she's now saying her parents won't let her come to mine. What's actually happening is she won't even bother to ask. She went to a lot of trouble to go to this one, got herself an expensive dress, shoes, limo, the lot. But she couldn't even be bothered asking if she could come to mine. That's what's hurting me. I know that I can be a little over-sensitive sometimes but still, it's not a nice thing to think about. I don't think it has to do with the fact that we ended things recently, as right after we ended it she said she still wanted to go. So I just don't know what to make of this.

Basically, I'm still pretty sore about the whole thing and feel like our relationship never got a chance to run it's natural course. We barely got to see each other because her parents are pretty over-protective. I'd say we didn't even spend a total of 30 days together. Half of them I'd to go to her house if I wanted to see her. Couldn't meet up with her at a place or whatever. Most of the time we had to talk on the phone and what not. That was fine, I learned to deal with it. I know it sounds terribly cliché but I loved her an awful lot, which made it a little easier. But now this. As if this situation wasn't complicated enough, I'm going to have to see her fairly often, as I'm moving there and she's good friends with my cousin.


So to put it simply I wanted to get that off my chest and to ask if there's anything I could do to move on a little quicker from this?

Ickle Magoo

I think time is the best healer but you could try meeting up with friends, starting a new hobby, joining a new club or something similar to help take your mind off things as much as possible?

I also find writing a list of all things about an ex that really annoyed me and all the reasons we broke up, argued, whatever and looking at it whenever I feel the rose-tinted specs coming on helps too.

Best of luck.

Saph

Think of why it didn't work and wonder do you really need that hassle and torment?

LegacyUser

I can't help but think that if it weren't for her parents, it wouldn't have turned out like this at all. Because she's still dependent on them she can't really go against them. It doesn't help that she's very a very placid person but still...

That's what's really getting at me. We were fine together really, it was other factors like her leaving cert and her parents interfering and making things difficult for her that screwed it up so badly. It's eating at me that there's a girl out there who I could really say I loved but I can't be with her, and it's not because of us.

LegacyUser

Anyone else? This is still really eating at me