New great guy - little buddy

LegacyUser

I recently started seeing a new guy, lets call him Rob
Well Rob is great look, tall, handsome, buff ticks all the boxes


Buuuuuutttttt......he has a tiny tiny willy, when I first saw it I thought he wasn't aroused but he WAS - I cant feel him at all, its so bad I can't even grab it if you know what I mean, I am not exaggerating

I like this guy but is it possible for me to get over this....

I dont want to sound awful but my last bf was large and now I really appreciate just how large he was, I was spoiled

I dont know if I could have a fulfilling sex life with him

He has never had a gf for more then a few months and now I think I know why

Victor

Penetrative sex isn't the only type of sex.

LegacyUser

well OP

Either teach him how to use it properly and give good oral etc or let him find a girl that will without making him insecure.

magneticimpulse

This is not very adult way of looking at things. I would suggest your not ready for any sexual relationships if this is all you think about

LegacyUser

You won't get past this... size does matter! It always amazes me how women will go to any extreme for men with breast enlargements etc., which are just aesthetic, and yet you very rarely or ever hear of men going for them, oh no.. if they get critized we are making them 'insecure'! Look at it this way: if he was a reasonable/large size but useless in bed, or the sex part just wasn't working, would you stay with him then?

Abi

Not very satisfied gal wrote: »

I recently started seeing a new guy, lets call him Rob
Well Rob is great look, tall, handsome, buff ticks all the boxes


Buuuuuutttttt......he has a tiny tiny willy, when I first saw it I thought he wasn't aroused but he WAS - I cant feel him at all, its so bad I can't even grab it if you know what I mean, I am not exaggerating

I like this guy but is it possible for me to get over this....

I dont want to sound awful but my last bf was large and now I really appreciate just how large he was, I was spoiled

I dont know if I could have a fulfilling sex life with him

He has never had a gf for more then a few months and now I think I know why

Throughout your post you're constantly talking about his physical traits. Is he a nice guy? does he make you happy? I don't think you'd like it very much if guys compared your physical traits to those of their ex girl friends, and completely disregarded your personality, sense of humour etc. If you like him enough you'll find ways around it.

As Victor said -

Victor wrote: »

Penetrative sex isn't the only type of sex.

Chinafoot

Abigayle wrote: »

Throughout your post you're constantly talking about his physical traits. Is he a nice guy? does he make you happy? I don't think you'd like it very much if guys compared your physical traits to those of their ex girl friends, and completely disregarded your personality, sense of humour etc. If you like him enough you'll find ways around it.

She said she's only started seeing him. This is hardly going to be a "love conquers all" scenario.

Sex is a very, very important part of a relationship and if they are not sexually compatible they shouldn't be together. She shouldn't have to try to find ways around it and she most certainly isn't immature for wanting someone she can have a good sex life with. As another poster pointed out, if he was a decent size but just completely brutal in bed should she have to "find ways around" that? Of course she shouldn't.

As for the "penetrative sex isn't the only kind of sex" comment. Why should this girl have to sacrifice penetrative sex for fear of hurting his feelings? I have no doubt that the majority of people quite enjoy penetrative sex. Why should she have a sex life she doesn't want?

If the OP was male and posted that he couldn't enjoy sex with his new girl because her boobs were too small or her vagina not tight enough, I'd give the same response. If its something that is going to dramatically affect your sexual attraction for the other person you should finish things.

Esoteric_

I think some of you are being harsh on her.

Clearly it's a fairly new relationship if she's only recently discovered that he's small down below, so I doubt she'd be gushing about her emotional feelings for him.

At the end of the day, she clearly says that she likes him and finds him attractive, but he doesn't satisfy her in bed. If he was an average sized guy and was just bad in bed, I'd be inclined to tell her to work at it, but not everyone wants to have to settle for only oral. If he's so small that she can't even feel him, no amount of manouevering will fix that. There are positions that could have him enter deeper, but if he's so small that she can't even properly use her hands on him, they're probably not going to work.

OP, I'd recommend that you try different positions, and if you still get no satisfaction from it, leave. Unless you love somebody, there's no reason why you should settle for sex that doesn't satisfy you or just try to be content with oral sex or his hands.

LegacyUser

I don't think I can carry on and I dont want to lead him into thinking there is a future

I really enjoy his company and he is a real gent.

He obviously realises his small because be pushed my hand away if I try touch it - but I know now since the time I did touch it I couldn't even give him a hand job and I have small hands.

I too think sex is an important part of a relationship and I cringe at the thought of attempting to have sex again.

I am meeting him tonight and I am just going to tell him that its not really going anywhere and its best be go our separate ways...


I feel terrible but I dont want him or me falling deeper and for me to end up resentful or looking elsewhere for sexual satisfaction

Miss Fluff

Not very satisfied gal wrote: »

He obviously realises his small because be pushed my hand away if I try touch it - but I know now since the time I did touch it I couldn't even give him a hand job and I have small hands.

I too think sex is an important part of a relationship and I cringe at the thought of attempting to have sex again.

I think it would probably be a deal breaker for me too. Sure, there is lots to do besides from having penetrative sex. And that would apply if for example he was someone you were in love with and he had had an accident and was unable to have sex anymore. The fact is you hardly know the guy and are not emotionally vested in him means you can put a stop to this now without either of you getting overly hurt. Why should you compomise on the sex life you want? Because you feel sorry for him?

I'd say he has come across this before though so you need to be very delicate in how you put a stop to it.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

As a woman who's been there and done that, you're a bigger woman than me (no pun intended!) if you can get past it!

I found that the great and all as the guy was, I wasn't getting my rocks off and it made me frustrated. The guy I was with wasn't the most amazing kisser in the world either, so I suppose it was the combination of everything that wasn't good. If your guy is an amazing kisser, then sure he might be good with his mouth (or hands) and there might be no problem.

But I don't think it's fair to slate you for thinking about getting out

Kel

eeijlar

How tiny can it be? Unless the poor man is suffering from a condition called Micropenis

Most penises are more or less the same size:

While results vary across studies, the consensus is that the mean human penis is approximately 12.9–15 cm (5.1–5.9 in) in length with a 95% confidence interval of (10.7 cm, 19.1 cm) (or, equivalently, 4.23 in, 7.53 in).

So, you like men with large equipment. If that's the most important thing in the relationship for you, then you should look for that. Simple as that. There are all sorts of ways people can be incompatible, this is just one of them. It's no different that if he wasn't tall enough, or had a ginormous head.

jessiejam

I think you should give it a chance.

Saying that your probably out now telling him as we speak:o

But I think you may be comparing him to your 'larger' ex and should maybe see if he can satisfy you in other ways first.

There are things more important in a man than the size of his manhood.

LegacyUser

Not very satisfied gal wrote: »

I don't think I can carry on and I dont want to lead him into thinking there is a future

I really enjoy his company and he is a real gent.

He obviously realises his small because be pushed my hand away if I try touch it - but I know now since the time I did touch it I couldn't even give him a hand job and I have small hands.

I too think sex is an important part of a relationship and I cringe at the thought of attempting to have sex again.

I am meeting him tonight and I am just going to tell him that its not really going anywhere and its best be go our separate ways...


I feel terrible but I dont want him or me falling deeper and for me to end up resentful or looking elsewhere for sexual satisfaction

don't feel bad. if you can't even give him a handjob or feel him inside you what's the point?
for all those saying there are other things - i.e. oral sex, well to me that doesn't make sense. just as well for you to be with another woman if you can't get the benefits of a penis.

i totally understand where you're coming from. and no matter what anyone says, sexual fulfullment is hugely important in a relationship. if the guy is that small there is no way you will be satisfied and you'll end up resenting him and wishing for more. the best thing you can do is leave now.

i was in a similar predicament. dating a nice guy, small member. really small. it's such a letdown and it was really starting to get to me, i.e. sexually frustrated even though he could make me orgasm by other means. i did the best thing for both of us and ended it.
i think you'd be doing yourself and this guy a favour if you do the same. life is too short to settle.

LegacyUser

Thanks OP

Yeah I should have mentioned he is a terrible terrible kisser too....I tried to work on that and it did improve slightly but cant imagine kissing like that for the end of my days...

You see I also dont do casual when it comes to dating - I want to find someone special and get married and settle down...


Anyway I went out last night didn't drink and explained to to him that I didn't see a future for us and what was the point in continuing as - I told him my heart just wasn't in it and I didn't want to be wasting his time - he said nothing only thats fine see you around

LegacyUser

Also this guy was really buff and I wondered if he perhaps dabbled in steroids and maybe that had something to do with his PP

Faith

I've been in that exact situation. Met a guy who was tall, good looking, got on great with him etc. I went home with him and he had a tiny penis, absolutely tiny. I couldn't give him a handjob, I could barely feel him inside me. We tried a few different positions - some ordinary ones wouldn't even work, and the only positions where I could feel anything were extremely uncomfortable for me. It was an immediate deal breaker. I didn't care how much I liked him - if the sex was going to be rubbish, I lost any interest I may have had.

To those who say "there's more to sex than penetration" - that's a very short-sighted view. Penetrative sex is hugely important in a heterosexual relationship. For me, the satisfaction I get from penetration is incomparable to anything else. Foreplay is grand, but it's just a warm up, and as soon as it gets underway, I just want my partner inside me. I could never, ever be in a relationship where penetration was a rare, unsatisfying event. I make no apologies for that. In the early days of a relationship, where there's very few feelings on the line, I'd be gone like a shot if a problem like that presented itself.

Basically, OP, don't feel bad if this is a deal breaker for you. You're far from alone in it, and you shouldn't feel you have to stay with the guy out of some kind of obligation or whatever.

Nevyn

Do your kegel exerises so that you can tighten your pelvic floor more and get a better, grip as it were and try postitions where your knees are bent, either with you on your back with your knees raised or doggy style, both shorten the length of the pelvic floor.

eeijlar

eeijlar wrote: »

How tiny can it be? Unless the poor man is suffering from a condition called Micropenis

Most penises are more or less the same size:

While results vary across studies, the consensus is that the mean human penis is approximately 12.9–15 cm (5.1–5.9 in) in length with a 95% confidence interval of (10.7 cm, 19.1 cm) (or, equivalently, 4.23 in, 7.53 in).

So, you like men with large equipment. If that's the most important thing in the relationship for you, then you should look for that. Simple as that. There are all sorts of ways people can be incompatible, this is just one of them. It's no different that if he wasn't tall enough, or had a ginormous head.

I don't think that's fair on OP. She said he was tiny. Some guys DO have tiny willies. I worked with a guy who said his was around 2 inches (don't ask, late night call centre work invites inappropriate convos) and a girl who was with him after the work party backed this up. The poor guy was really down about it, always saying he'd never get married etc. It is really awkward, because I don't think it's shallow not to want to be with someone so small. It really would make an enormous difference to your sex life. No amount of kegals are going to help if the length just isn't there.

Esoteric_

Cyrus Odd Ham wrote: »

I don't think that's fair on OP. She said he was tiny. Some guys DO have tiny willies. I worked with a guy who said his was around 2 inches (don't ask, late night call centre work invites inappropriate convos) and a girl who was with him after the work party backed this up. The poor guy was really down about it, always saying he'd never get married etc. It is really awkward, because I don't think it's shallow not to want to be with someone so small. It really would make an enormous difference to your sex life. No amount of kegals are going to help if the length just isn't there.

Yeah, some men do just have small penises. An ex of mine was about 3 inches, if even that. It's not selfish to want a good sex life that involves good penetrative sex.

eeijlar

Cyrus Odd Ham wrote: »

I don't think that's fair on OP. She said he was tiny. Some guys DO have tiny willies. I worked with a guy who said his was around 2 inches (don't ask, late night call centre work invites inappropriate convos) and a girl who was with him after the work party backed this up. The poor guy was really down about it, always saying he'd never get married etc. It is really awkward, because I don't think it's shallow not to want to be with someone so small. It really would make an enormous difference to your sex life. No amount of kegals are going to help if the length just isn't there.

Fair enough...

LegacyUser

I agree completely with Faith, I think that the anyone deserves to be satisfied in a relationship both emotionally and physically so OP I think if this is a deal breaker for you then don't beat yourself up over it!

Also to clarify a myth if I may... if he has used steriod then it would have an effect but only during the development phase of his life (i.e. puberty) but it can also screw with testosterone levels in males beyond the puberty phase.

I don't mean to hijack your thread either OP by asking this but how is size classified?

What size in small, average, above average or large, in general? I mean I am a guy but never had the gumption to ask any female perspective on this before....

Stu

I'd say anthing under 5 inches would be considered on the small size but the average penis size is 5.75 inches. I can understand why the OP has ended the relationship but i really feel for the guy, it must be soul destroying to keep getting dumped by women when he knows hes a good guy but can't satisfy a women in bed.

LegacyUser

Well its just not normal for his willy to be forever popping out

and my pelvic floor is nice and tight thanks - I have been told this on many occasion

its not that I have a huge vag trust me

Elle Collins

Well I like a big langer and I've no bones about saying so. This would be a deal-breaker for me. I'd be leaving him to the women who think all can be solved by clenching their fanny muscles and wiggling their arses in the air.

StarryMoon0

I think the whole point of dating ect is to find out if you are compatible with someone on all levels. Some women might not be so particular, some would.
If its something thats an issue, then its an issue, you can't force yourself to accept it just because you feel you should.

Your obviously a compassionate person and let him down nicely. I know a few people who would have been pretty brutal about it.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Not very satisfied gal wrote: »

Also this guy was really buff and I wondered if he perhaps dabbled in steroids and maybe that had something to do with his PP

No. They stop sperm production so your testicles look smaller temporarily but don't affect the penis size.

You did the right thing, but god i feel sorry for that guy.