Age Gap

CrispMan

New to this forum, I'm a divorced dad of teenage kids and it was a difficult divorce with a great deal of bad feeling but all that is sorted now and for the first time in ages I am in a good place.

Recently I met a woman and this is what my question relates to. I am in my mid 40's and she is only in her early 30's, we get along great, although it's only early days yet but I'm worried the age gap will be a problem. What do you think?

Otis Driftwood

Where that age difference might be a factor if you were early/mid 30s and she late teens/early 20s I dont think it would be a huge issue as it is now.Obviously there are different factors eg if its going to be long term will she eventually want kids and do you want to start rearing children again?

My own personal stance would go with it for now and dont waste your time thinking about what ifs.If things do progress then you can start thinking about other factors but for now,enjoy your time together.

Galvasean

AS long as she's suitably older than the kids I reckon it should be fine. ie: old enough to be seen as parentesque, as opposed to siblingesque.

zuroph

meh, my gf is 13, but it doesnt matter, I'm not superstitious :pac:


The unofficial rule is half your age plus 7. so say mid 40s equals 46 /2 = 23+ 7= 30 means you're good to go. Enjoy!

Michael B

Don't worry about the age gap. She isn't a young girl. As long as you two continue to get on great and you're both happy then that's the main thing. Best of luck mate.

dinorebel

Go for it I am 47 and my wife is 30 and have been together for 11 years.The age difference always bothered me a lot more than her but I have come to realise its about how you feel not when you were born.

eviltwin

I don't think its the age gap you need to worry about more your family situation.

I would imagine becoming a "step parent" of sorts to two teenagers would be hard going for anyone, male or female, regardless of age.

I would just advise you to take it slowly, concentrate on you both as a couple first before adding anyone else to the mix but keep your kids ( and your ex ) in the loop and hopefully if you and your new partner decide to make a go of things it will be easier on everyone all round.

BigBenRoeth

If it makes you happy,fcuk everyone else.

Chaotic_Forces

What exactly worries you? The age difference just btween her and you? The age that she;s closer to your kids or something?

Bottle_of_Smoke

I'm a 25y/o male. My gut reaction was that there is nothing abnormal or unusual about a 44-47year male old seeing a 30-33 year old female

BopNiblets

Gentlemen, it is time for science! Print this handy graph out and carry it in your wallet:

Snowie

half your age plus 7 rule is utter clap trap

BopNiblets

But... but the graph...

CDfm

OP -does she rock your world cos the age thing does not seem to be a huge dilemma for her as she is seeing you.

Advice -kick back relax and enjoy what you have now and stop thinking what other people might think.

angelxx

I would imagine you are both at similar stages and want the same things from life. Enjoy
each other's company.

Snowie

Age doesn't bother me its all about personality and good dress sense but older women can be ok aswell sorry for dragging the tone down you gotta allow for a biut of room 10 years is nothing adults

looksee

That graph is agist, it stops at 65!

Dr Galen

looksee wrote: »

That graph is agist, it stops at 65!

I think you are missing the point sir. After 65 you can shack up with anyone you want. If a 65 year old bloke pulls a 30 year old lady ( or vice versa) then that makes em a legend in my book.

@op

Dude. Once your happy and she's happy then no big deal. Go for it and have fun. You obviously have lots going for you if she sticking around. Fair play. Don't stress it as that is much more likely to put the dampeners on your relationship than any perceived none age gap problem

The Corinthian

CrispMan wrote: »

New to this forum, I'm a divorced dad of teenage kids and it was a difficult divorce with a great deal of bad feeling but all that is sorted now and for the first time in ages I am in a good place.

Recently I met a woman and this is what my question relates to. I am in my mid 40's and she is only in her early 30's, we get along great, although it's only early days yet but I'm worried the age gap will be a problem. What do you think?

That you are in a new relationship with this woman will effect your children. Given that, if you are in a new relationship with any woman will ultimately affect them and while the age difference may affect them (although not that much, if at all, I'd imagine as being teenagers both you and her fall into the 'old' category by default), but so did your divorce, and so will lots of other things - but that's life and kids have to get used to these things unless they expect their parents to remain alone for the rest of their lives.

However there are two practical considerations to consider. The first is your ex-wife. While it may not be any of her business whom you go out with, or she may even have been the one to have left you for another man, this does not mean that she'll be reasonable about it and thus this could either strain relations or initiate a new and belligerent chapter in them.

The second consideration is the woman herself and the age she's at, because she could well be looking to start a family of her own, either now or in the next few years. With your own children already approaching adulthood, and your own age, do you really want to start another family as you're pushing 50? If not, then you genuinely need to discuss this with her as you don't want to string her along or find yourself in a situation where an 'accident' happens down the line.

new12

well my father in law is 75 and the mother in law is 57. so 18 years a difference. over the last number of years i noticed that they have little in common. she is very young at heart while he seems to be so old and grumps and moaning about everything. after talking with sis in law on what she thought about their age difference. she concluded that when she was younger and the father was in his late forties she didnt really see the age gap a problem, however as the father got older he got very jealous if the mother went out with friends. he just didnt trust her and what it really boiled down to was she was so young compare to him. caused a lot of arguments in the marriage over the last number of years.

blackbird98

BopNiblets wrote: »

But... but the graph...

it's crap......do you think that when I reach 50yo, that I'd be eyeing up 85yo women??? not a chance!


@op...it's fine...go for it and make your pals jealous as well!!!

The phrase I heard another user on boards use went something like this. If you like someone because of their age then something is wrong with you, if you like them despite your age then more than likely it is ok.

Age should not be a factor if the person is right for you. If they are right for you go with it. The girls I live with are 29 and 22 and I am 31. Age has never been a factor or a worry with us.

Only you and her know what you want from life and your relationship together, so only you and her can sit down and decide if the age difference will ever become a factor in those things. Stop worrying what some nanny in the sky with a wagging finger will think of the age gap... the only people it should matter to is you and her... so talk to her about it.

mood

I'm a woman in her early 30s and I wouldn't go out with someone your age, divorced with kids. My main reason would be that I want to get married and have kids some day and I would think it would be the last thing a divorced man with kids would want to do all over again. Also, I get on better and have more in common with people my own age.

But that's just me. Maybe she doesn't want kids etc. Maybe she gets on better with people older than her. Maybe you should have a chat to her about it.