Goddamn male ego!!!

LegacyUser

Jut really wanted to get something off my chest.

I got on the bus this morning at 7:30. At the next stop, 8 to 10 lads got on and believe it or not, they were steaming drunk!!! They were shouting and spitting on the floor and then I heard one lad say "I'm gonna smash that lad's face in" (obviously referring to me as I was the only other person near them). So I thought to myself "it's too early for this sh1t and I don't want trouble" so I got up, got off the bus and got the next one 5 minutes later.

Makes perfect sense. It was the right thing to do I'm sure. The thing is, it's driving me crazy now!!!

On another occassion I was standing on the Dart. There was four lads drinking close to me. I looked at one of them and he was giving me the finger so I just looked away. Next thing he's laughing and saying "Lads, I just gave him the finger and he didn't do anything. What a f@ggot" then "Look at me and I'll batter ya" So I turned around and walked down the Dart to sit down - "That's right, walk away" etc etc

Because they were scum and were drinking at one end of the Dart, he had to walk down towards me to go for a p1ss between the carriages. I looked him in the eye as he passed me but he looked away, sure he didn't have his friends with him did he?

Again, I did the right thing in walking away but it KILLED ME!

Here's the thing. I'm not afraid of a fight. I'm well able to look after myself. I'm strong, I lift weights almost every day, I train with a boxing coach and I've competed in MMA.

What I am afraid of what might happen in a fight. I'm afraid if I hit someone and knocked them out and they fell and hit their head, I'd go to prison.

I'm afraid that if I'm out at night with my girlfriend and someone provokes me and gets the better of me then who's there the protect my girlfriend.

I'm always advising my friends to walk away, only fight in defense. And although I do follow my own advise, why the hell is it so hard to swallow???

Ickle Magoo

Not really a relationship issue, moved to PI.

You're doing the right thing and you know it. It takes a lot more to walk away than to swing the first punch. I'd rather have a boyfriend who could keep his temper (but could defend himself if necessary) than someone who constantly rose to the bait.

LegacyUser

Sorry mod, didn't mean to post in RI.

AnonMous

It's only hard to swallow because you are making it hard to swallow Op.

You're the bigger man for walking away from these situations. I hate scum bags like the ones you described who are all talk when they have all their friends there to back them up but back down when alone.

That's an insecurity within these lads and they feel like nothing when they are alone.

It's a Friday morning Op, so don't ruin your weekend by worrying about drunken skangers on the bus. Try and forget about what happened this morning but take comfort in knowing that you did the right thing.

Take it easy dude, have a good weekend.

LegacyUser

Walking away from a potential fight isnt a weakness its a strenght
Only fight when you have too

Ok maybe it was slightly passive to get off the bus, but if you hadnt you'd have faced abuse the whole journey. Unless you answer back and make him look stupid at which point it potentially escalates. In your case I really think he was just showing/mouthing off (as it was 8 to 1 so it was unlikely he was actually going to do anything), but its a delicated situation to guage.

Personally I have walked away on fights i know I could win and ones where I felt a pang of regret that I hadnt thought the scum a lesson, but that was only a passing regret - with longer reflection I am happy with the outcome, it is the right thing to do

Also the more I trained and more I went boxing, the more disciplined I got and the less I fought, you really dont have anything to prove, they are the insecure ones

""To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting""
-Sun Tzu, the Art of War

Beruthiel

damnedifyoudo wrote: »

Makes perfect sense. It was the right thing to do I'm sure. The thing is, it's driving me crazy now!!!

Arguing with a bunch of drunk blokes spoiling for a fight would have ended one way, with you in hospital.
Not for one second should you question your actions, you absolutely did the right thing.

LegacyUser

I only got off the bus because I was in no rush to get to my destination and I've a bus pass, so it didn't cost me any extra.

Yeah, I haven't been in a fight outside of the ring since I was in school and have been training 9-10 years.

Actually, there was one Halloween night when a guy on the dance floor put his hand up my girlfriend's skirt. Before I knew what was going on I had punched him in the chest and he was on the ground. I walked away absolutely DISGUSTED with myself. You just can't win!

Thanks for the responses. I really should just let it slide but I know when (and I do mean when, not if) it happens again, it's gonna wreck my head but I'll really try not to let it.

Ickle Magoo

You did the right thing. If you did hurt someone and you are a trained fighter then you'll get into a lot of trouble. Not worth it for some idiot who is trying to start a fight with you, content yourself with the knowledge that you're walking away because you value your own life/job/etc and not because you are a coward.

Best of luck

LegacyUser

damnedifyoudo wrote: »

Here's the thing. I'm not afraid of a fight. I'm well able to look after myself. I'm strong, I lift weights almost every day, I train with a boxing coach and I've competed in MMA.

I was wondering why you were getting such hassle. Now I know. It's obvious to worthless scum that you're fit, take pride in yourself and can defend yourself if needs be.
Worthless scum act like they're all hard because they know they'll never have pride in themselves.

Good on you for walking away....it's infinitely easier to get involved in a fight than to walk away

Hank_Jones

damnedifyoudo wrote: »

What I am afraid of what might happen in a fight. I'm afraid if I hit someone and knocked them out and they fell and hit their head, I'd go to prison.

I'm afraid that if I'm out at night with my girlfriend and someone provokes me and gets the better of me then who's there the protect my girlfriend.

I'm always advising my friends to walk away, only fight in defense. And although I do follow my own advise, why the hell is it so hard to swallow???

I always was in fights when I was younger and never thought of any sort of consequences.
That was probably just immaturity though.

I haven't been in a fight in a long, long time and I don't plan on fighting with anyone, mainly due to the fact that I am scared I would severely mess them up if I did.
Don't want to be the reason why somebody's life is ruined, don't think I would be able to live with myself if I was.

Walking away from a fight with no brained, drunken idiots is not something to be worried about.
If anything it shows common sense.
The reality is that they would more than likely not hold back in a fight and you would be faced with fighting multiple people, which is not advisable.

Just think about it realistically, do you want to be paralysed for life because someone gobshite called you a name.
Fight if you have to, not because of some childish taunting.
Would have thought that once someone gets past like 18 (ie out of school), this sort of thing wouldn't be an issue.
Maybe it just comes with maturity.

Bearpup

Same kinda thing happened to me the other day... on a bus going home from work on my own... 3 girls started basically abusing me, intimidating me (I'm a girl too).. they were younger than me- 17/18 (I'm 29).. saying they were going to "batter" me etc... I just sat there looking out the window, my stop couldn't come quick enough... God my blood was boiling, the fact that they could intimidate me like that... I am a very strong girl and would have no problem defending myself against one person but what do you do if there is 3 of them? I would love to see one of them on her own on the bus and see what she has to say...... not a whole lot would be my guess.

kjl

To be honest OP, I don't see why you don't stand your ground. I'm not talking about actually hitting the guy, but don't get off the bus, or move to another end of the dart. If I were them I would be more intimidated by this and not choose to push it. While these guys may be drunk, I am almost certain they are not going to actually start a fight with you with no provocation, hold you head down and avoid eye contact, but don't inconvenience yourself.

fonecrusher1

kjl wrote: »

To be honest OP, I don't see why you don't stand your ground. I'm not talking about actually hitting the guy, but don't get off the bus, or move to another end of the dart. If I were them I would be more intimidated by this and not choose to push it. While these guys may be drunk, I am almost certain they are not going to actually start a fight with you with no provocation, hold you head down and avoid eye contact, but don't inconvenience yourself.

No offence but thats utter rubbish & bad advice. Its not the movies.

What the OP did is right. I think when a person is on their own & in a situation where theres a group of scummers trying to provoke a fight ALWAYS WALK AWAY. Yeah it does make you feel bad but who do you think is going to come out worse in the incident? You or the 4 of them? Im a fairly big guy & i have no problem smacking heads with someone if they provoke me enough but in a situation where theres a few of them & just one of me....no chance. Im always going to lose with those odds.

They're dirty parasite cowards that roam the streets just looking for some poor guy to aggravate into a fight. On their own they're little mice. Classic chicken-sh!t behaviour.

Whats more of an inconvenience? Getting off the bus & waiting 5 mins for another or having to go to A&E with a cracked rib & a broken nose?

kjl

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

No offence but thats utter rubbish & bad advice. Its not the movies.

What the OP did is right. I think when a person is on their own & in a situation where theres a group of scummers trying to provoke a fight ALWAYS WALK AWAY. Yeah it does make you feel bad but who do you think is going to come out worse in the incident? You or the 4 of them? Im a fairly big guy & i have no problem smacking heads with someone if they provoke me enough but in a situation where theres a few of them & just one of me....no chance. Im always going to lose with those odds.

They're dirty parasite cowards that roam the streets just looking for some poor guy to aggravate into a fight. On their own they're little mice. Classic chicken-sh!t behaviour.

Whats more of an inconvenience? Getting off the bus & waiting 5 mins for another or having to go to A&E with a cracked rib & a broken nose?

Please re read my post and don't call it utter rubbish. I never said he should start fighting these guys, simply that he shouldn't leave the bus to accommodate them.

foxyboxer

It is hard to walk away but that's just the primal reaction.
Provocation is a powerful thing.
It helps to look into why people provoke other's and then you realise it's their low self esteem or whatever.
I like to think of it as "Small Mickey Syndrome" , which is similar to the cliche of men of small stature acting aggressively to compensate.


You did the right thing walking away.
To give an example, a few months back myself and the brother were walking home from the city centre (cork). It was about 3am but we were still coherent.

We walk past 3 fellas (wearing tracksuits :rolleyes:) one goes.
"Got a light?"
Brother replied "Sorry bud, don't smoke"
"I didn't ask you if ya smoked ya f*** **** *****!"
Brother responds and squares up to him.
I pull him away.
"I'll smash this bottle in your fkin face!"
We walk on and flag down a taxi. I notice a squad car behind.
The lads notice this too and bolt.
I sprint after them and grabbed one. Citizens arrest, whatever you want to call it.
The guards pull up and start questioning him.
Turns out he was only 19. And they had been hassling people like us earlier too. Where were his 'friends' then. They are hard 'men' in a group but if isolated then well.....you know.

The thing is if violence takes place then you have everything to lose whereas they don't.

fonecrusher1

kjl wrote: »

Please re read my post and don't call it utter rubbish. I never said he should start fighting these guys, simply that he shouldn't leave the bus to accommodate them.

Don't tell me what i can & cannot say & i said no offence. Also i never said that you said that he should start fighting them.

Your advising the OP to hold his ground. What if the scumbags (who are obviously looking for trouble) then decide to be 'brave' again & surround him & he gets a few thumps for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

All im saying is when your out-numbered your better off avoiding any sort of confrontation.

Wacker

kjl wrote: »

To be honest OP, I don't see why you don't stand your ground. I'm not talking about actually hitting the guy, but don't get off the bus, or move to another end of the dart. If I were them I would be more intimidated by this and not choose to push it. While these guys may be drunk, I am almost certain they are not going to actually start a fight with you with no provocation, hold you head down and avoid eye contact, but don't inconvenience yourself.

The thing about this is, what happens next is uncertain. They might back down, and the OP will look like the ultimate bad-ass and he'll have a great story for his mates. They might not though; they might be coked up to the gills and convinced of their own invincibility. Tough as the OP might be, I doubt he'd fancy those odds.
If, however, he walks away, he removes the variables, as he knows what comes next: bruised ego. Not so bad, considering what may have happened.

OP, as an MMA practitioner, you may have heard this story before: back in the day, Tito Ortiz (a former UFC champion, and one of the toughest guys in the world at the time) used to have drunken idiots starting on him all the time. His solution: give them business cards for his gym, and tell them that they're welcome to meet him there during business hours. Now, obviously you can't try a variation of this when there are eight of them, but something like this would do the job nicely with one or two mouthy f*ckers. Who knows, maybe you'll end up with a great sparring partner

fallen01angel

Hi OP,I think you did the right thing in getting out of the situation-ok you can handle yourself in a normal sitiuation but the thing with scumbags is they NEVER fight fair,Although it rightly makes your blood boil afterwards for not making a stand these things can get out of control v v fast.Case in point-my friend's brother went out on the town a couple of yrs ago,didn't back down from an arguement,scumbag punched him to the ground,hit his head off the pavement -his family had to make the decision to turn off the life support 10 days later.Life's too precious to take a gamble....just my opinion.

The Agogo

Hi OP, everyone here's right. Those scumbags aren't worth a **** so don't worry about it.

Just be happy in the knowledge that someday they'll pick on the wrong guy. I've seen it so many times and it si VERY very funny

Wacker

fallen01angel wrote: »

Hi OP,I think you did the right thing in getting out of the situation-ok you can handle yourself in a normal sitiuation but the thing with scumbags is they NEVER fight fair,Although it rightly makes your blood boil afterwards for not making a stand these things can get out of control v v fast.Case in point-my friend's brother went out on the town a couple of yrs ago,didn't back down from an arguement,scumbag punched him to the ground,hit his head off the pavement -his family had to make the decision to turn off the life support 10 days later.Life's too precious to take a gamble....just my opinion.

Here's another scary thought: that could happen in any fight, even if both parties observed Queensbury rules. So there's a double-risk. No risk in walking away.

katie99

Can I ask you a simple question?
Why did the bus driver permit these drunken scum on the bus in the first place?
If he didn't realise they were drunk getting on the bus surely he must have realised they were pissed after a few moments.
Why didn't you complain to the driver and ask him to either throw them off the bus or call for the gardai.
It is an offence to be drunk and disorderly in a public place and a bus is public transport.
My gf was slapped in the face for no reason a few years ago by drunken scum around Grafton street one Saturday afternoon. They thought they were real smart and funny. But seconds later gardai caught up with them and held them until a black maria arrived to take the drunken scum to Pearse St gardai station.
My friend was asked to make a statement but she declined as she was living abroad and was home for a week.
These scumbags need to be taught a lesson. We are too tolerant as a society of their bad behaviour.
Bring back the birch. 50 strokes of the cane across their arses would sort them out at much less cost to the taxpayer.

Ickle Magoo

Please keep replies on topic and helpful to the OP.
Be aware that off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

Many thanks.

Ickle