Girl dilema

LegacyUser

Hi. A bit of a dilema has popped up for me, and I'm not really sure how to deal with it. Actually, as dilemas go, it's a pretty good dilema. But it's still doing my head in.

Right, so I'm a 30 year old guy. Had a few relationships in my life, but over the last couple of years, the stars haven't exactly been lining up in my favour! The only girl I've dated in the last 5 years turned out to be a bit of a stalker and something of a psycho. After that, I tried getting out there and all that, but a) didn't have much luck and b) my circle of friends are all loved-up. So meeting people proved problematic.
Anyway, about 3 or 4 months ago, my mate's girlfriend comes into the bar where we congregate of a Friday and brings a colleague with her. The moment I saw this girl, my jaw hit the floor. To the point where I actually lost track of what I was saying to a mate, mid-sentence. He encouraged me to go up and talk to her. So I gathered up what little courage I have when it comes to the opposite sex, waited for a window and went over to her table while another mate (it's a fairly sizable group) was chatting to her. We spoke incredibly briefly before she had to go and to be perfectly honest, I put her out of my mind. 'WAAAY out of my league,' I convinced myself. Besides, she probably wouldn't be interested and probably instantly forgot me.

Cut to last Saturday. Myself and a few friends are gathered for a birthday barbeque. The girlfriend of my mate texts my mate and he hands the phone to me. The message basically says 'tell X (me) that Y (her) is all for it.' Needless to say I was a bit confuddled. Never the less, I was stuck at the party and couldn't do anything about the situation. So on Monday, I was talking to my mate's girlfriend and I asked her what the situation was. She tells me that Y thought I was cute. So I told her that the next time they were heading out, to let me know and I'll come along and see what happens.

Here in lies the rub. I'm not the type of person who can just sit around and wait for things to happen to me. I much prefer to be proactive than reactive. So, playing the waiting game is actually somewhat stressing me out. Obviously, I'm incredibly chuffed that this girl even took notice of me. To be honest, this kind of thing doesn't often happen, especially with a girl who seems cool and is very good looking. My luck is rarely this good, to the point where I actually asked my mate's girlfriend if she was sure the girl was talking about me! I mean, we didn't speak for very long and I didn't think I made an impression. Seems that I did. Bonus!

So what should I do? Should I just ask my mate's girlfriend for the girl's number, ring her up and ask her out? Something about this strikes me as a bit creepy. We didn't speak much, and it was a couple of months ago. Or should I just bide my time and wait for the next encounter to chat her up? The only issue I have with that is that my mate's girlfriend doesn't seem as... motivated as I would be, and I don't know when the next encounter would be. I don't want to be bugging my mates to set this up. I really don't relish that. But neither do I relish sitting around, twiddling my thumbs. Any advice would be very much appreciated!

davmol

This is the typical irish mentality,dont be agressive (as in approaching her)with the girl.Stand back and see what happens.
In any other country men are much mroe forthright.I learned while being abroad that the only way to get with a girl is to go right up to her and make an impression..afterall thats the only way she will get to know you.
Everyone wonders how that slightly ugly guy has the gorgeous girl that seems way out of his league.Its because he has apporached her,got to know her and amde that move.

Dont sit back an dwait for things to happen,if shes as hot as you say she wont be availabel for too long.Get the number and send her a text to get the ball rolling ,that way she wont be surprised than if you were to call her up out of the blue.Have a bit of craic with her by text and take it from there.

EM2008

I say go for it.. If your mates girlfriend was talking to her about you it shouldn't come as much of a shock to her and you'll know one way or the other. if it were me I'd be chuffed with myself that I'd made an impression.

Also its not like you are a random stranger she can get the advise from your mates girlfriend (who's already encouraging the situation) so you won't look like a creep. I'd say a nice guy who wants to act like a 30 year old and not some lad acting the eejit waiting for his friends to be out so he can make a move.

Go for it.. plus if the worst happens you don't really bump into her as it is so any awkwardness will be well gone by the time you see her again.

Maybe start off sending a mail rather than a text and before you jump into ringing her and catching her off gaurd.

Good luck

astra2000

I would agree go for it I am sure she will be flattered you went out of your way to get in touch rather than waiting on a chance encounter!

Abi

I know the text from this girl to your mates girlfriend looks very promising, but rather than ask her for her number outright, I'd be inclined to ask her to drop this girl a text clearing it that her number can be passed on. You did say it was a couple of months since this encounter.

Maybe its just me, but I wouldn't mind a quick heads-up first.



Hope it works out (:

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies, PIers! If it were me somebody was trying to get the number of, I'd be flattered. I wouldn't mind at all. But that's just me. I wouldn't expect other people to feel the same way, and I wouldn't want to make somebody feel uncomfortable. So this is where my dilema lies. Part of me is thinking 'just effing do it already!' and the other part is thinking that I need to play it tactfully. Of course, I'd get my mate's girlfriend to clear it first. I wouldn't want to freak the girl out. I guess what I'm worried about is the female perspective on this. If I knew it'd be all right, I'd go straight ahead. Otherwise, the cautious route.