Today's Timetable - tomorrow's future

The Agogo

For the day that's in it:

12 noon - Leaving Cert results released

12.04 - First interview with brainoholic who got 9 As in honours subjects,
reveals ambition to be a doctor. Or a jockey.

12.15 - Further interviews take place outside some southside Dublin girls'
school which will contain liberal uses of the phrases 'Ohmigod', 'I was
like', 'totally' and 'whatever'.

12.16 - Boys school interview much more muted. 'Deadly', 'repeat' and some
wag in the background shouting 'me hole' the stock answers.


12.20 - Mobile phone networks collapse under weight of text messages. 98% of
all students who passed honours English will use 'dat', 'dem' or 'da' in an
sms.

12.30 - the first pints will be had.

16.15 - 45,000 mini-skirted, boob-tubed girls make their way into town via
public transport. 1200 of them are sick on the top deck of the 46A after
drinking Bacardi Breezers, Jaegermeister and dolly mixtures made up in
Sodastream bottles.

16.16 - 45,000 horny young men lick their lips.

19.05 - the first arrests take place for public indecency, urinating in
public, urinating in the public, projectile vomiting onto windows and
mooning.

21.07 - Seperately, 451 young men decide it would be hilarious to unzip their
trousers and walk around with their balls hanging out of their pants, like a
pink teardrop. They're right. It is hilarious.

22.10 - The first fight, probably in Temple Bar, nobody knows why it started,
but there's a lot of blood. 'Deadly', say onlookers.

23.17 - A tabloid photographer, paid by Joe Duffy, finally finds the money
shot. A plump young girl being fingered outside a nightclub by a scaldy
looking bloke who has dried sick down his front. Duffy gets the call, begins
to practice for the next day's edition of Liveline.

"Is dis what de yoot of today are like? Is dis what we can expect ... no, dis
is a disgrace de way de yoot of today behave. Did you see anyone gettin de
finger? Talk to Joe"

00.04 - It's pure mayhem. The Garda helicopter is no Blue Thunder. Loss of
control imminent.

00.04 - 02.45 - All a blur. The streets run with with piss and poo and blood
and jism and the future of this country makes its way home.

04.14 - Taxi drivers congregrate to discuss the night and compare 'She wet
herself in the back seat stories'. There's solidarity, for once the white and
black drivers live together in perfect harmony, side by side on their
keyboards oh lord ...

08.19 - The first reveller wakes up, mouth dry, head pounding, anus
inexplicably sore. "That was, like, ohmigod, totally deadly", they say.

Sorry if you read it before. But I thought it was worth posting.

Random

man most people got this at 755 this morning. where the **** have you been all day?

The Agogo

aww...in work all day witnessing half of it.

It brightened up the remainder of it though.

alwaysadub

Wtf.
Out celebrating all day by any chance OP.

bazmaiden

is this non fictious existance?

Doc

made up in Sodastream bottles

You = Old

anniehoo

The Agogo wrote: »

12.04 - First interview with brainoholic who got 9 As in honours subjects,
reveals ambition to be a doctor. Or a jockey.

Hope that kid does bloody brilliant in Cambridge..he came across like a sound fella being interviewed earlier. That lad could be saving your life in 10 years time so seriously...no slaggin him...or..eh...else! So there

The Agogo

anniehoo wrote: »

Hope that kid does bloody brilliant in Cambridge..he came across like a sound fella being interviewed earlier. That lad could be saving your life in 10 years time so seriously...no slaggin him...or..eh...else! So there

Oh jeez I didn't write it...
...but fair point