stay or go??

LegacyUser

in the grand scheme of things, this isnt a huge problem but I would be grateful for any thoughts/advice to help me make a decision.

Im travelling abroad at the moment and came over with a gang of friends. Started off having a great time, having the craic and just partying all the time, meeting new people but pretty much being glued to the gang most of the time. We all came over here to find work and have been looking for jobs and some of us have been more successful than others. We all came out here with the idea that we'd be here for the year if not longer (if we were lucky to get sponsored to stay on).

Before I left I was quite depressed and was receiving treatment for it and I made the decision to come over with my friends to get a break from home, to break out of the rut of my daily life and to challenge myself. My depression has gotten much more managable and i feel more capable of handling and dealing with life's hurdles.

However after a few months here, I feel like im back in the same old rut of life, only with a new backdrop. I love my friends to bits but im suddenly feeling like I want to move off on my own for a while, to really challenge myself and get some independence. Since coming here ive realised that I loved my job at home more than I thought (im on a career break) and I just needed the break to travel.

I mentioned it to my friends that I want to move on and travel around on my own for a while, even if it means coming home much sooner than i anticipated. Some of them have been supportive but theres one person (whom im very close to) has pretty much told me im an idiot for moving on, that im giving up too easily, that i havent bothered my arse looking for work, that im leaving her in the lurch etc.

This is really making me feel guilty for wanting to move off and is making me feel like I just sail through life doing what others want/expect me to do- something which I dealt with in therapy. Fear of heading off on my own is definately there but its the idea that I might compromise a friendship over this is holding me back. I feel conflicted between myself and this friend.

I think I know the answer already of what I need to do but im just worried im being a selfish person and a bad friend. At the same time, I know this is the one opportunity I have at the moment to do something for myself which will hopefully lead to me gaining more confidence and self esteem etc. I have never travelled on my own before so I find the prospect exciting and scary but I feel like its something I need to do.....

Any thoughts or words of wisdom? thanks!

LegacyUser

I think if you want to move on and travel than go for it!! She is only saying those things to you as she is scared of being without you there! If she is a great friend she shouldn't expect you to stay somewhere you are not happy with.
I just think if you went there to travel so travel! I don't see the point in being miles from home and looking for a job that you might like when you already know you love your job at home and you love to travel. There is no doubt in my mind here.
And I completely understand where you are coming from with your issues only having a different back drop there.