Am I just not girlfriend material?

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

Have a bit of an issue and I don't know what to do.

While lads seem to like hanging out with me and/or sleeping with me, it never goes beyond that- I'm just seen as not being girlfriend material.

At the risk of sounding conceited, I have a lot going for me and people are surprised that I am single. So how come men don't seem to view me in the girlfriend light?

What do I need to do to become GF Material? Do men categorise women?

Kidchameleon

Don't sleep with people till a relationship develops. That way you will weed out the people only looking for one thing...

AnonMous

Not GF Material wrote: »

Hi guys,

Have a bit of an issue and I don't know what to do.

While lads seem to like hanging out with me and/or sleeping with me, it never goes beyond that- I'm just seen as not being girlfriend material.

At the risk of sounding conceited, I have a lot going for me and people are surprised that I am single. So how come men don't seem to view me in the girlfriend light?

What do I need to do to become GF Material? Do men categorise women?

If you hang out with guys all the time, they will never see you as girlfriend material. This is because they probably feel like they can talk about usual lads stuff in front of you (that they wouldn't talk about in front of a girlfriend) and if you pay no heed to it, they won't see it as very lady like.

If you met guys outside your circle of friends, I bet they'd view you as perfect girlfriend material.

Keep the head up Op :-)

muboop1

Quite often a guy will be willing to sleep with a girl but will not respect her for it. If messed up I know... It instantly removes you as gf material.

Alot of guys also want to think hey are special or some **** in my experience. If you slept with hem easily who knows how many others etc... We are weird some times. And not always fair.

There are exceptions do.

Also, hang out with lads all the time And they will likely start to see you as one of the lads... You are sleepable then. But not likely relationship material for any lad in that group. It's just... Unattractive I find?

All is base on my own personal experience... Not necessarily my views, just what I've seen

Wagon

It's probably because you keep sleeping with guys who just want you for a shag but nothing else. Maybe try and not do that for a while, that way you can see who's just out for their hole and who is actually interested in you. Not a foolproof plan but it does work for people.

LegacyUser

Wagon wrote: »

Maybe try and not do that for a while, that way you can see who's just out for their hole and who is actually interested in you.

So OP, to recap...keep away from men who would refer to a woman as 'their hole'

Monkey61

Hmm without knowing you OP, it is hard to tell what the reason might be, it could be any number of things.

Firstly though, if the people who aren't interested in you are your friends - well, they are your friends, in theory they shouldn't be interested in you. I think it is great that you have a group of lad mates who actually want to be friends with you.

Secondly, I would never go out with someone I was already friends with. Never. You would know too much about them, probably have seen unattractive sides, know who they have slept with etc. I would much rather meet someone afresh and get to know them from there.

Also, you never know what kind of vibes or impressions you may be giving out to people. I have met loads of girls over the last few years, that despite finding them initially attractive, have gotten to know them and quickly realised that it would never work for a number of reasons.

Basically these guys just aren't the right guys for you though. In future,if you fancy someone, don't try and become friends with them - try to date them. And if you want to sleep with people within a circle of friends, be discreet and bear in mind that once you have slept with one guy in a circle of friends, you are probably not going to be viewed as girlfriend material by any of his friends - purely because you have already slept with a friend and nobody really wants that image in their head when they are dating someone.

LegacyUser

Hi guys, OP here,

Thanks so much to everyone who has replied, really appreciate it. The posts were a real eye opener- And I thought it was just guys who had to worry about being placed in the friend zone ;-)

I think I may have caused some confusion in my OP so apologies- These guys aren't part of a group I hang around with, just guys I have met through various ways.

While they like me, hang out with me, and all the rest, they never want to take it further.

I'm easy to talk to, maybe thats the issue, guys then just view me as a friend? Should I modify my behaviour in some way?

eeijlar

Of course you are girlfriend material! How often has this happened? And also, it depends on your age. If you are still quite young, which I expect you are, I wouldn't give it a second thought. You just haven't met the right guy yet.

Happy hunting

Wagon

Not GF Material wrote: »

Hi guys, OP here,

Thanks so much to everyone who has replied, really appreciate it. The posts were a real eye opener- And I thought it was just guys who had to worry about being placed in the friend zone ;-)

I think I may have caused some confusion in my OP so apologies- These guys aren't part of a group I hang around with, just guys I have met through various ways.

While they like me, hang out with me, and all the rest, they never want to take it further.

I'm easy to talk to, maybe thats the issue, guys then just view me as a friend? Should I modify my behaviour in some way?

Depends what you're looking for If you are looking for something meaningful, don't be too quick to sleep with someone. In a bloke's mind, if a girl sleeps with some quickly, they just assume she is happily just having fun and doesn't want anything serious.

So counteract that by holding off and seeing who is interested. A lot of men just want the ride too, and by holding off you'll know who those are. Those that are interested will be happy to put in a little more effort.

Not a foolproof plan, it has it's holes. But it's the best solution i can give you.

piotro2

I don't get this deal with not wanting to be a friend with the girl first. That's the only way to date. Who wants to be in a relationship with someone under a shroud of mystery about their past? This would never hold water in any long term scenario. The great thing about being friends first is that you already have some trust built up to get the relationship off to a good start.

To OP - There is nothing wrong with you, only in your selection of men. Try and find a guy you would normally not date and see where it goes. Too many people seem to hold "common interests" as the number 1 reason to date someone. Interests may bring 2 people together, but in all fairness, what you build in the relationship is so much more important. Also, interests fade. Look for values above all else.

Mr Marri

You might have a bit of a rep, which will rule you out for most guys. To be honest there is nothing like being told how good your new girlfriend is in bed to put you right off. (Yes us men can be childish/dick). Maybe look for guys outside your circle of friend and keep them seperate until a relationship has developed.