Still think about him.

gayguy2009

I've been broken up with my bf about 2 months now. I was with him for about 3 months. I do not think about him as much, but he still does pop into my head. I heard from him a week after we broke up and that was it. Havnt been in touch since. I kind of miss him in a way. I knew i done everything in my power to keep the relationship going, gave him so many chances. He said sorry when we broke up and he knew it was his fault. I told him I wanted to be friends and he agreed but he hasn't even tried to contact me. Is it sad that its 2 months gone and I'm still thinking bout him everyday? I'm a person that tends to think about things too much, I'm very anxious. I'm also afraid I'll see him sometime with another guy and I'll start to feel like crap again. I know some people go through much worse breakups but I just need to get it off my chest

Dwn Wth Vwls

He's just not part of your life anymore. Say it to yourself when you find yourself thinking about him. Nothing related to him matters, it's all in the past.

gayguy2009

Ye I guess so. just part of me still wants him there. I my feeling will change when I find someone else. I hope they do anyway.

Dwn Wth Vwls

Don't use someone else as a crutch to get over him. Yes it's true that someone else will distract you, but it can also sour that new relationship if you're not careful.

Accept and enjoy the good times you had, but those particular ones are over. He's no longer part of your life and you have lots of new experiences to look forward to.

Roro4Brit

You were with him for 3 months, that's approx 80 days of your life. I'm not trying to down play your feelings, as they are important, but in this case I think some context will help. It was a flash in the pan and if after 80 days you've had to fight to keep the relationship going then I'd suggest he's not the man for you.

You will get over this guy, trust me. Keep busy with your mates, have fun, and in a month or two, it'll be a distant memory.

azezil

Not to put a dampener on things but sometimes a person can make more of an impact on your life in a few short months than another in an entire lifetime. It can be difficult to get over, especially if they were one of your first, but you will. Life goes on, you'll meet other people and it gets easier with time.

Aard

Acceptance. This doesn't mean being happy about the way that things turned out, rather just "realising" that they happened and then getting on with your day.


Accept that:
- you're single;
- the relationship is over;
- he's likely to get a new boyfriend at some time;
- you're likely to see them (due to the closed nature of the "scene").


Like I said, you won't be jumping for joy, but whenever thoughts come into your head, just think, "Yeah, that's what happened, but I can't change the past." (Or some variant thereof.)


I don't know if you've had any closure. If you haven't, which is likely by sounds of it, I would recommend getting some. That doesn't necessarily mean phoning him up to talk about it. It might be as simple as deleting his number and all of his texts! from your phone. Replacing the good feelings the relationship had with something else (drink, drugs, carbs, etc.) isn't a hot idea, fwiw. Meeting friends would be good too.

gayguy2009

sorry to reopen the topic, well a few days ago i got a message off him asking me how i was, i replied in a civil way and told him how i
was. but havnt heard from him after that, dunno wat tom make of the situation?

Rick_

What did you say to him though? That you were fine or that you still loved him and wanted to get back together or something? If it was the latter then maybe that's why he's been quiet, but then again you said that even after you agreed to be friends when you split he didn't contact you.

I found the best way to get someone out of your head is to just throw yourself into doing something different. I ended up going out anywhere with anyone and doing anything to keep my mind occupied. Kind of like that film Yes Man where the guy had to agree to do everything to make his life more interesting. I spent a good 3 odd months very outdoorsie and active and enjoyed myself so much he was never in my head. After that time when my activities calmed down again I still don't think about him any more.

Of course, it's not wrong to think about him now and again, just don't let it consume you. Move on and let yourself live, you'll only regret it if youre still pining over him in a years time and you've missed out on a years worth of fun, activities and possible future boyfriends because you got hung up on one guy who doesn't seem to care that much about you.

Dwn Wth Vwls

Sometimes when people contact you out of the blue like that, but don't maintain a conversation, they're just checking you're still there. Seeing if you still come running when they call. They're still not interested and have no intention of getting involved, but it soothes their ego, however subconsciously, that you're out there.

If it happens again, obviously the best advice is to ignore it. That's easier said than done though, so I'd advise waiting a long period of time before replying (at least hours, if not days). When you do reply, don't be too enthusiastic or forthcoming with information. If they keep up a conversation, then okay, but chances are it'll fizzle out again almost instantly.