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I want to get some one cautioned?

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  • 17-08-2010 2:02pm
    #1
    illegalmidget
    Registered Users Posts: 66 ✭✭


    I want to get my Ex boyfriend cautioned by the garda.
    i went out with him for a year and a half and had a lucky escape when i ended things, he hit me mnay times as well as slashing my tires damaging my personal items and total mental abuse.

    he has beening sendin me texts messgaes sayin hes comin to my house to hurt me and if i ever see him out, which im sure i will as we have the same friends, he will break every bone in my body, or punch me in the face.
    he is really scaring me as i know how crazy he is and i believe he has it in him to actually do these things as well as that i dont want to get my parents involved or any thing so if i report him will the garda just call to his house and caution him or will they call to me house after wards?

    can any one help i really dont now what to do any more.
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    #2
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    They may call to your house and if you're under 18 you will probably need to attend the Garda station with your parents in order to make a complaint.

    If you're over 18, go to the Garda station and make your complaint and tell the Garda dealing with it to ring you instead of calling to your home (which they'd probably do anyway tbh).


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    #3
    MagicSean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,897 ✭✭✭MagicSean


    There are various ways to approach this depending on your age and wether or not you lived with him. A garda will be able to give you the best advice. Just go to the garda station and ask to speak to someone in private.


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    #4
    detective
    Registered Users Posts: 444 ✭✭detective


    A Garda may go and caution him but personally I don't like doing this. I came across a similar situation to yours a number of years back. Its very distressing for you. I went and "cautioned" the male and he seemed fine with it. I then became the recipient of solicitor's letters who represented him asking why I got involved when there was no written complaint. If there's no written complaint the there's no complaint. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the Gardai aren't in the business of cautioning/scaring people; they're in the business of gathering evidence and prosecuting them.

    If this person has done what you've said he's done you really should try and gather up the courage and make a written statement of complaint. Don't worry about your parents... you have nothing to be ashamed of. Make your statement and let the criminal justice system put manners on him.If it's not dealt with now it may get worse. I hope this helps and things get better for you.

    By the way I'm assuming you're both over 18.


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    #5
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    Would it not be possible to get a restraining order?


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    #6
    detective
    Registered Users Posts: 444 ✭✭detective


    Restraining orders are not applied for by the gardai they are purely civil in their nature and a solicitor would have to advise. Having said this there are provisions should a person be convicted under the 1997 offences against the person act for a restraining order. Gardai do have an involvement under the 1996 domestic violence act though in relation to safety and barring orders but these require a period of residence shared between both the accused and accuser. I doubt this existed in this case. I'm not an expert but I would imagine it would be difficult also to get a restraining order if there wasn't a criminal charge pending.


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    #7
    pirelli
    Registered Users Posts: 2,876 ✭✭✭pirelli


    illegalmidget wrote: »
    I want to get my Ex boyfriend cautioned by the garda.
    i went out with him for a year and a half and had a lucky escape when i ended things, he hit me mnay times as well as slashing my tires damaging my personal items and total mental abuse.

    he has beening sendin me texts messgaes sayin hes comin to my house to hurt me and if i ever see him out, which im sure i will as we have the same friends, he will break every bone in my body, or punch me in the face.
    he is really scaring me as i know how crazy he is and i believe he has it in him to actually do these things as well as that i dont want to get my parents involved or any thing so if i report him will the garda just call to his house and caution him or will they call to me house after wards?

    can any one help i really dont now what to do any more.


    At the very least contact the Help group such as battered women or wellwoman.They would have alot more general experience than most people here. IMO If you have a choice go with a punch you in the face. You will recover alot faster.


    http://www.womensaid.ie/services/

    http://www.womensaid.ie/

    http://www.irishhealth.com/article.html?id=7787

    http://www.wellwomancentre.ie/


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    #8
    DOC09UNAM
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,305 ✭✭✭DOC09UNAM


    pirelli wrote: »
    At the very least contact the Help group such as battered women or wellwoman.They would have alot more general experience than most people here. IMO If you have a choice go with a punch you in the face. You will recover alot faster.


    http://www.womensaid.ie/services/

    http://www.womensaid.ie/

    http://www.irishhealth.com/article.html?id=7787

    http://www.wellwomancentre.ie/


    Yeah, I'd prefer to take the punch in the face myself.

    But OT, report him, you'll feel safer at least, and hopefully they'd put the manners into him as detective said.


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    #9
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    You can file a complaint at your local guarda station and they can serve him with an ASBO.


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    #10
    Delancey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,451 ✭✭✭Delancey


    metrovelvet wrote: »
    You can file a complaint at your local guarda station and they can serve him with an ASBO.

    Are you sure about the ASBO ? My understanding is that they very rarely happen and are not designed for situations of Domestic Violence.


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    #11
    detective
    Registered Users Posts: 444 ✭✭detective


    delancey42 wrote: »
    Are you sure about the ASBO ? My understanding is that they very rarely happen and are not designed for situations of Domestic Violence.

    yeah ASBOs are more for public disorder situations. what this man is alleged to have done is not anti social, its downright criminal and is deserved of far more than an ASBO (or a please don't do it again).


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    #12
    angelfire9
    Registered Users Posts: 2,226 ✭✭✭angelfire9


    detective wrote: »
    Restraining orders are not applied for by the gardai they are purely civil in their nature and a solicitor would have to advise. Having said this there are provisions should a person be convicted under the 1997 offences against the person act for a restraining order. Gardai do have an involvement under the 1996 domestic violence act though in relation to safety and barring orders but these require a period of residence shared between both the accused and accuser. I doubt this existed in this case. I'm not an expert but I would imagine it would be difficult also to get a restraining order if there wasn't a criminal charge pending.

    I was in a similar situation and found that barring orders/protection orders require co-habitation over a certain period of time and are difficult to get as are restraining orders unfortunately
    My ex beat the crap out of me and solved the problem as he was convicted of a section 4 assault under the 1997 act and was court ordered to stay away from me


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    #13
    pirelli
    Registered Users Posts: 2,876 ✭✭✭pirelli


    detective wrote: »
    yeah ASBOs are more for public disorder situations. what this man is alleged to have done is not anti social, its downright criminal and is deserved of far more than an ASBO (or a please don't do it again).

    I know that there will always be people that will feel it is there god given right to use these orders maliciously and that is reason enough not to have them in my opinion.

    Perhaps the best thing for these people to do is call the police immediately if there is any type of problem or should they feel threatened or abused.


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    #14
    FreudianSlippers
    Registered Users Posts: 20,397 ✭✭✭✭FreudianSlippers


    illegalmidget wrote: »
    I want to get my Ex boyfriend cautioned by the garda.
    i went out with him for a year and a half and had a lucky escape when i ended things, he hit me mnay times as well as slashing my tires damaging my personal items and total mental abuse.

    he has beening sendin me texts messgaes sayin hes comin to my house to hurt me and if i ever see him out, which im sure i will as we have the same friends, he will break every bone in my body, or punch me in the face.
    he is really scaring me as i know how crazy he is and i believe he has it in him to actually do these things as well as that i dont want to get my parents involved or any thing so if i report him will the garda just call to his house and caution him or will they call to me house after wards?

    can any one help i really dont now what to do any more.
    IMO that is quite possibly assault and the Gardaí should act accordingly. It is possible (depending on the circumstances) that on seeing the text messages and/or any other threats that he has sent, a court would convict and order that he stay away from you and possibly even where you live (depending on where you live - e.g. they won't say stay out of city centre Dublin, etc.).
    You may (read: will) need to give evidence but you should certainly not feel intimidated by this at all - think of it as getting your life back.

    The deal with assault through words is that you must believe that physical violence might be used against you in the immediate future. In other words that there must be the apprehension that in the immediate future these threatened actions will occur.


    Edit: just saw that angelfire9 beat me to it. Just to go on to say that you don't need to have physical violence for it to be assault. Words are enough in certain situations of immediate threat - not sure if this is the case with you, but worth keeping in mind in case it is.


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