feel the recession is putting a strain on your realationship

adrift25

hey there

Been in a relationship with my o/h half for 7 years now. still so much in love.. We get each other so much and are still so much in the honey moon phase. don't think i'd ever find someone as compatible. we've talked mortgages n marriage down the line..but is love ever enough.

we got together when we were young, him 19 almost 20 and me 18 almost 19.we seemed compatible up until we left college 2 years ago and this coincided with the recession. I don't know if we've grown into different people.. or want different things but its seems its a struggle. he's been on the dole, then working, and now on the dole again whoile working part time.

I'm working part time and its grand... i would like to move out soon but we have to be more sorted first work wise. He really wants to move to another country to work as he feels he'd have better opportunities etc I would be all for this if it was english speaking and more western countries. However he seems drawn to asia & the middle east.

I think compromise and a country we both would get work is fair but he thinks if a job comes up in a country for him he wants to go for it regrdless of whether i can go etc

Think we have different values the way we view work, i'd view it as; work to live and he's more live to work. I'd prefer to be near my family and friends and have an ok job but he'd easily just up and leave and live anywhere.. back of beyonds all alone etc just as long as he had a really good job.

we even have different ideas of what we want in a holiday.. he would either spend it just in the pub if it was a city break or if it was a sun hol, sit in da sun all day reading and go to dinner and the pub. I feel i've grown out of that and enjoy sight seeing, a bit of relaxing by pool and dinner n couple drinks.. not getting pissed every night. I don't drink as much as i used, him either but he still drinks more than me

We do enjoy a lot of the same things also.. sense of humour, taste in films, eating out, excercising etc
I don't know is it the recession that has highlighted these differences.. cos id say we'd be working in our home town and moved out and possibly have a mortgage by now if the recession hadn't hit and lot of this issues may or may not have surfaced.

I love him to bits and want it to work.. but at times i feel drained of it all and want to want to enjoy life and not bicker about where we're headed and wonder will we be apart or where will we he want to move to next, be it abroad etc depending on job offers

what do people think?? anyone else feel the recession is putting a strain on your relationship

thanks

jimmycrackcorm

Very, very few people end up in life married to the person they were in love with at 19 years old.

I've read you post in detail (i.e thought) and that's the only observation that I'd like you to think about. Anything else is just a decision you will choose.

BTW. Recession has nothing to do with your issue. FYI Recession is all about what you loose, not about what your choices are.

Curry Addict

its how ye deal with your differences that counts. both must be happy enough with your joint decisions.

if hes really willing to put career ahead of you staying together. its likely this is a folly of youth but it says a lot. he may value status as a young man but i would not recommend staying with someone who thinks like this.
hes taking you for granted and putting you in second priority.