In a Prediciment!

a/tel

Hey all


need some advice, long story.


Basically was going out with a girl last year for about 3 months, friend of a friend.
Work away a lot so didnt meet up as much as i wud have liked.
Towards the end she said i was always negitive on the phone and always giving out bout everthing. I admit i was guilty at the time as work was driving me crazy and i wanted to be home to see her.

So anyway she finished it and contact was lost.


New story met a new girl and have been out 2 or 3 times with her.
Next thing got chatting to ex on facebook, glad to reconnect with her as she is lovely girl.
Ended up ex txting me and we have sent txts bk and forth over last week or so.
Met her by chance yesterday also and had a chat for hour or so.
Now i thought this was just friendly but she has kinda asked me to meet up not and it has clcked with me that she is interested.

Didnt mention to her bout new girl so she assumes im single.


Prob is i really dunno what to do.

I like new girl but have to say i am really attracted to the ex, not just looks but personality also.


Any advice???

LighterGuy

"a rock and a hard place" huh op

But theres more dwelling in this situation i find.
You dated a girl last year and now she only reconnects with you?
That to me sounds like she recently had a bad relationship/experience. Sounds like she wants a "pick me up" - and whos better? an ex.



My 2 cents is that you shouldnt trust this ex. I doubt something meaningful will come about from it. Sounds like a pick me up.

AnonMous

She is your ex for a reason mate!

Chances are that you would get back with her and not so far down the road, the same things would start to bother each of you about the other and break up under similar circumstances.

I think you should stick with the new girl to be honest.

Just an opinion though :-)

Lorrs33

Stick with the girl you're seeing now and leave the past in the past.

Zen65

a/tel wrote: »

Didnt mention to her bout new girl so she assumes im single.

That's convenient for you, isn't it?

I don't mean this as judgemental, but you're being a bit coy here keeping your options open in the hope that the ex will want you back! If she knew you were with somebody else now she may lose interest altogether (or she may not). You opted not to disclose your hand for a reason.

You know this relationship didn't work out last year, so in reality it's unlikely to work out now either. So try to make a go of it with your current gf, and don't start hopping back to an ex just because the opportunity is there.

As a general comment, not being open about the fact you're in a relationship is a recipe for future problems in all your relationships. It seems from the outside that you are always "on the hunt" for other options, rather than genuinely trying to make your current relationship work. I'm certainly not suggesting that you marry / settle down with the current gf, but the "hunting" behaviour will stop you from learning about yourself and about relationships. When times get a bit tough between you and whatever partner you are with, the tendency to "hunt elsewhere" will be almost second nature to you.

Please don't interpret my comment as being critical or judgemental in any way, I don't intend it like that. I would not wish you to spend your life vacillating between options (including options you artificially create by not disclosing your relationships) and ultimately finding yourself unable to cope responsibly with a real long-term relationship.


Be at peace,

Z

SallySweet

OP, have yu and the new girl agreed to be an item? If not, then haivng met her only 2 or 3 times is still very early adn I would consider you single...

a/tel

Well i told the ex today, was upset with me, cant blame her. Shouldnt have led her on. Feel really horrible. If id been honest from day 1 wouldnt have got into this situation

jimmycrackcorm

No reason to feel horrible. You found yourself in one of those very human situation that we fall into form time to time and you made the right decision despite the upset. That upset will pass and your ex will in time appreciate you more for it.

a/tel

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

No reason to feel horrible. You found yourself in one of those very human situation that we fall into form time to time and you made the right decision despite the upset. That upset will pass and your ex will in time appreciate you more for it.

I hope it does, shes still angry today and letin me know it too, i actually feel physically sick with guilt.

Zen65

a/tel wrote: »

I hope it does, shes still angry today and letin me know it too, i actually feel physically sick with guilt.

I do understand this feeling. In time to come though you will be glad that you were up front sooner rather than later. The longer a situation like this is left, the more sickening the guilt would be.

Now, move on and let bygones be bygones.

Be at peace,


Z