Really sick of my mother and father!

lonelyguy

Hi! I am an 18 year old guy and I will be gong into 6th year in september. I am really sick of my parents. Now it is simply because they are so lazy all they really do all day is sit around the gouse and do nothing! The only time when they do anything is when they go and do stuff with the greyhounds. They have being on social welfare for the last 10 years and it drives me made they have just being sponging off the state. I olso feel like I'm sponging of them. Even thing's like going to the doctor I hate it simply because It feels like I'm stealing.
My parents are really lazy around the house. I cook nearly all my own meals and there's. It sometimes feels like I'm there parents. When t comes to tidying the house it is a complete mess. I do my best I try and keep it clean. There is only so much I can do we don't have a bin collection because my father says why should he give his money to get rid of rubbish. The house is full of old newspaper and tins of paints, biscuts etc..
As for asking friends over I just can't it's not fit to ask anybody over. I can't go to there houses either because there mam's would offer to drive me home and they would see the state of my house.
My other issue is my is a racist, homopobic pig. He is so rude and he never under stands how other people how other people can have a different faith or anything. My problem mainy with this is because I'm gay and I know he won't accept me if I ever came out. Now not that his opinion matters to me. I am afraid he could lash out at me in a rage. I am just so sick of my life now! I just don't know what to do anymore.
Sorry for the long post and spelling mistakes!
Any advice?
Thanks!

Ickle Magoo

Hang in there! Use your annoyance and embarrassment with your parents to your advantage and get a fire in your belly lit, get good grades and get out - would be my advice.

Sometimes the most annoying parents are easier to deal with when it's just for occasional trips home or the odd dinner out so if you can keep things ticking over until then? Do you have any siblings or relatives you could confide in, in the meantime?

Zeouterlimits

Hmm, a difficult one.
Are you working? What's the plan after you finish 6th year?
If you're going to college focus on that as best you can, make sure you get the grant and try to move out.
If not, start working & saving, aiming to move out as soon as possible.

I'd recommend seeing a counsellor too (there are free youth counsellors), just to talk through the stress of living in such an environment, it can't be easy and it will help. I'm assuming your family are aware of your opinion, that you have talked to them before about how they act & how they make you feel in being ashamed of the state of the house.

As for telling your parents about your sexuality, you probably know them best, but they may come to accept it in time. My parents flipped and said something absolutely horrible things when I told them I was an atheist, it took them quite some time but saw past it.

Hang in there, I really hope the best for you.

lonelyguy

I am only average at school even when I try and study. I want to go to collage but I just don't know what to do. I tried to get a summer job but I couldn't.

Zeouterlimits

lonelyguy wrote: »

I am only average at school even when I try and study. I want to go to collage but I just don't know what to do. I tried to get a summer job but I couldn't.

Most of the world is average academically, that's fine, normal even
Can definitely go to college being 'average', don't worry, as long as you stay on task as best as possible.
As for a job, you'll just have to keep on trying (if that's what you want during the term).

lonelyguy

Thanks for the advice!
I've decided when I go back in September that I'm going to try my best.
I am just so sick of it. They do nothing. I am just so sick of being lonely and being by myself!

Taltos

I know it is tough but

> go back - work your hardest.
> try to hide your feelings from your folks - you do NOT need any aggro this year.
> try to find an escape for when it gets really tough - could be something as simple as certain music you listen to, a walk with a mate, a stroll yourself. Just something.

Remember - if you call it out now - they are in a position to make this the year from hell. Try to concentrate on just doing as good as you can and talking to your school about options that are out there. You know - courses abroad, far from home, summer placements.

I think it is great that you are inspired to make something of yourself instead of sponging, just sorry that you are in a place right now that you have to hide who you really are.

On another note - it almost sounds like your folks have some form of illness - the mess, not really coping. I am not trying to diagnose depression or anything like that but just something seems off. Or it could just be that they really are just as you describe - lazy spongers.

p.s. - Average in school is ok. Work life is so different and if you are lucky you will find something you excel at.

BLACKEN

lonelyguy wrote: »

I am only average at school even when I try and study. I want to go to collage but I just don't know what to do. I tried to get a summer job but I couldn't.

Well being average in school isn't gonna stop you doing great in college when you in a course that you enjoy and take an interest in.

In school you could have up to twelve different subjects to study. in college you have only ONE.

i was average in school but in college i can really excel myself. And life is full of people your just not going to click with sometimes.
My fathers constantly bitching and moaning......... VERY annoying! but hey thats life. i'm just happy i'm not going to end up with his personality!:pac:

nojunkmaill

Check out BelongTo. A youth group type for young gay people. They have weekly meetings etc and they have a lot of support to offer.

http://www.belongto.org/

Zen65

lonelyguy wrote: »

Thanks for the advice!
I've decided when I go back in September that I'm going to try my best.
I am just so sick of it. They do nothing. I am just so sick of being lonely and being by myself!

It is natural for parents to want their children to achieve more than than themselves. Some parents, possibly including yours, have no such ambitions and can even feel threatened by the possibility that their children will outgrow them emotionally. It seems that you have been given the motivation to exceed your parents' ambitions, and in that respect, you should be glad of them (I understand that seems strange at first, but so many people in your position have no ambition to do anything more than sign up for unemployment benefit and live as parasites to the state).

Be sure to apply yourself in your final year at school. Pick a college course you would enjoy - you don't have to become a doctor or a lawyer, your years in college will broaden your mind and your horizons, and open up the possibility of a much fuller life.

Don't let your dislike of your parents' lifestyle cloud your judgement though:

* If they have reared you to the best of their limited abilities, they deserve your respect.

* Your loneliness may not stem entirely from your embarrassment over your parents. Discovering you are gay is something that may be hindering your friendships if you fear that others might reject you. Most often of course, people will not reject you, but you are probably wise not to raise the issue while you are living with your parents, especially if you suspect your father is capable of violence.

With some dedication from yourself, especially this year, your life can be very full and exciting. All teenagers feel some tension at home as they try to become the people they want to be, possibly against the views of their parents. Focus on the life you are aiming to lead, not on these temporary issues.

Be at peace,

Z

iguana

lonelyguy wrote: »

I've decided when I go back in September that I'm going to try my best.
I am just so sick of it. They do nothing. I am just so sick of being lonely and being by myself!

Another thing to do when you go back to school is to arrange a meeting with the career guidance counsellor or, if your school doesn't have one, a teacher who you get on with. Tell them about your home life and about what you hope to do next year. Get them to go through your options fully with regards to courses, grades needed and grants available to you. See if they have any options for after school study time in the library for exam-year students or if any of your teachers provide extra study hours on the run up to exams.

Whatever you do don't think of the grant as stealing from the state, it's an investment in you. The idea is that going to college helps your career prospects and the better a job you can get the more tax you will pay. You will pay that grant back many times over in the course of your life so it's nothing to feel guilty about.