I fancy a 16 year old girl?

LegacyUser

Ok so, I am a 19 year old guy, and I think I am in love with a girl who is 16 =/

It all started about 2 years ago when I was 17 and she was 14/15, in school. She was friends with one of my best friends so if I was over at his place I would get to see her a lot. I didn't see much of her in school apart from a wave on the corridor or just meeting in the canteen etc. I don't know what it was but I just was infatuated by her, and I felt so terrible cause she was two years younger than me.

So I proceeded to obtain her IM address from my friend and I asked did she mind I added her etc and she didn't mind at all. We talked a lot but never once did I say how I felt or anything, mainly because I felt it was weird and I just didn't want to. The fact I was and could talk to her was more than enough for me.

As time went on we talked less and less, although I cannot help but feel it was the age gap, even as friends, that maybe weirded her out. 3 years older than her and given that we didn't talk or see each other much in person made it weird.

Recently she turned 16 at Xmas, and I started thinking about her again. She recently made a facebook account and I added her there, but still haven't talked in that two year gap. I sometimes look at her photos and wish I could tell her how I feel without being a weirdo or creeping her out as I respect her space etc

Tell me is this wrong or unethical? I can't help but feel I am a weirdo.

LittleBook

Personally when I was 16 (going on 17) I wouldn't have felt it was at all strange if a 19-year-old guy contacted me, so I don't think you're a "weirdo" and I don't know where you're getting "wrong and unethical" from.

I see no harm in sending her a friendly message and taking it from there.

Prabhu Deva

no nothing unethical about it. the guy is usually a bit older anyway and 2 years is nothing. just go for it, no shame in it at all. and if anyone ever gives you a hard time over it - take no notice at all. they are just a bunch of small minded busybodies

Uriel.

OP, like the previous posters I really don't see an issue here at all tbh. If you really like her go for it. Maybe be a bit careful about her age for the next 4 months or so until she turns 17s.

Only problem I can see really is the fact that she can't legally drink alcohol or access over 18s venues etc... for the next 16 months. That might cause problems for you in terms of going to pubs/clubs which would be normal/regualr activity for guys of your age. Then again, that depends on you, perhaps your not into the club or pub scene but bare it in mind anyway.

2 yrs is absolutely nothing by the way. I don't think age is all that important. I am kinda seeing a very recently turned 20 year old. I am 26. early days for my "relationship" but age is not an issue for either of us and it definitely shouldn't be for you either.

All the best with it... don't let opportunities slide by. nothing worse than regrets of what could have been.

ordinary_girl

LittleBook wrote: »

Personally when I was 16 (going on 17) I wouldn't have felt it was at all strange if a 19-year-old guy contacted me, so I don't think you're a "weirdo" and I don't know where you're getting "wrong and unethical" from.

If a 19-year-old guy was interested in me when I was 16 I'd have been flattered. Infact, most teenage girls go out with guys who are a bit older than them, I've never gone out with a guy who was my age or younger and it's the same with my friends so it's not pervy or anything.

wildlifeman

i thought you were going to say you were 30 or 40..jesus! there is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. I was 21 going out with a 17 year old 6th year. i dont think her dad liked it but she loved it. go for it.

LegacyUser

There's noting wrong with it.I'm 19 myself and I sort of have feelings for my friends 16 y.o sister.She'll be 17 in a few weeks but I still don't see anything wrong with it apart from her being my friends sister,but thats irrelevant in your case.I say try and get talking to her again,use a little subtle flirting (now thats a "little" and "subtle") every now and then and if she does the same back then see where it goes from there.Best of luck.

tenchi-fan

i wouldn't say it's unethical. go for it.

LegacyUser

OP here, thanks a lot for the replies guys ^_^

And while we are on the topic, I realized someone mentioned light and subtle flirting, how would I go about this? I'm an amateur when it comes to that, any tips or advice again is hugely appreciated

LegacyUser

theaterofdreams wrote: »

OP here, thanks a lot for the replies guys ^_^

And while we are on the topic, I realized someone mentioned light and subtle flirting, how would I go about this? I'm an amateur when it comes to that, any tips or advice again is hugely appreciated

Well i suppose flirting is suppose to be subtle anyway.I can't just tell you "oh ya do this and you're set".You really need to relax and try maintain eye contact,now whatever you do DO NOT stare.Maintain eye contact for maybe 2 seconds.

Smiling is an important part aswell.Not a huge smile,try not to show your teeth,just a normal smile.

Try get her to laugh but don't try too hard.An occasional laugh is fine.

I'm not very good at giving these sort of tips because I just usually go with the flow and sometimes I'm flirting and I don't even know it,but I hope this helps.

Anyone want to add something?

passive

It's probably worth pointing out that she's below the age of consent, so if she does reciprocate, make sure things don't go too far before she hits 17 or you could be in trouble...