Patience

Caoimhín

Morning all,

Now l will get all the scientific terms wrong but stay with me...

Patience, whatever it is, a virtue, bad temper, evolutionary characteristic, genetic predisposition, i don't know, but i really don't have any.

Now it depends on the circumstances, for example i am very patient with animals, children and older people. I am not an angry person, it takes a lot to get me mad. However, from when it comes to my expectancy of people to act in a professional manner to waiting at a queue or even having patience with myself i have none. My lack of patience doesnt get me in trouble but it does make me look like a total arséhole to others.

My question is, if this is the right forum, how can i or is it even possible to improve patience?

JuliusCaesar

Caoimhín wrote: »

My question is, if this is the right forum, how can i or is it even possible to improve patience?

This might give you some ideas, and this gives the opposite point of view..or is it part of a Type A personality or another view is that it might be related to Shoulds or what Ellis calls 'Musterbation'.

Welcome to Psychology!

Caoimhín

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

This might give you some ideas, and this gives the opposite point of view..or is it part of a Type A personality or another view is that it might be related to Shoulds or what Ellis calls 'Musterbation'.

Welcome to Psychology!

Or maybe strong tranquillizers?

hotspur

If you reframe the question from being how can I increase patience to how can I increase compassion (for self and others) then there is some good literature.

Check out Paul Gilbert's book The Compassionate Mind.

If you liked JuliusCaesar's link on Ellis then there there is an audio file which you can find by searching the net by Albert Ellis called "Unconditionally Accepting Yourself and Others", you may find it interesting.

Gibs

I can also strongly recommend the Paul Gilbert book, having just read it recently.:)

One possible way of coping with impatience is to engage with mindfulness practice. There are literally thousands of books on the subject, some less accessible than others. The best book I have come across recently is "The mindfulness solution" by Ronald Siegel. It's extremely readable and a great way of getting into the whole area.

Valmont

The rise to fame of mindfulness is incredible! I can't go anywhere psychology related without reading about it; not that I care, mind you, but I am curious as to how it has become so popular in the last few years.

JuliusCaesar

I've been 20+ years in psychology; there are fads in psychology just like everywhere else.

Some of them last, some of them don't. Some of them (Assertiveness, Biofeedback) undeservedly fall by the wayside.

Caoimhín

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

I've been 20+ years in psychology; there are fads in psychology just like everywhere else.

Some of them last, some of them don't. Some of them (Assertiveness, Biofeedback) undeservedly fall by the wayside.

Yeah thought that might be the case. It is a simple enough problem, simple problems seldom need complex solutions.

Gibs

Hope you're not suggesting mindfulness is a fad given that it's been around for at least a couple of thousand years

In that context, it might be more accurate to describe psychology as a fad !

Valmont

I'm not referring to its existence but to it's current use as a treatment aid of sorts. It seems that for many psychological maladies, mindfulness is often suggested as a helpful tool. My personal experience of it was negative and it didn't seem too much different from other types of meditation.

edit- This weeks mission: examine mindfulness research!

JuliusCaesar

Gibs wrote: »

Hope you're not suggesting mindfulness is a fad given that it's been around for at least a couple of thousand years

No, but its uptake by psychology may be a fad. Especially the almost cure-all hype around it. Some enthusiasts seem almost religious in their fervour. It is indeed very useful for some clients, but others don't get on with it at all, and need alternatives.

Caoimhín

Im running out of patience with you lot, this is about ME not some silly theoretic argument.

Thank you.

Gibs

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

Some enthusiasts seem almost religious in their fervour. It is indeed very useful for some clients, but others don't get on with it at all, and need alternatives.

Agreed. I am certainly not proposing pursuing mindfulness as some kind of singular psychological panacea that can address all psychological distress. I was addressing the OP's query regarding a specific difficulty with impatience.

There is certainly sufficient evidence to recommend its use for dealing with everyday frustrations and for improving peoples' quality of life, but I think it's still a bit early to say how useful it will prove to be as a direct treatment for, say, depression/anxiety/psychosis etc. I have used "The Mindful way through depression" with clients and have got a mostly good response, but clearly it's far from being the only kind of intervention possible. I think that most responsible proponents of mindfulness are urging cautious optimism - even Scott Liliienfield has expressed this optimism, while of course urging good ongoing research to determine efficacy and effectiveness.

Just because there is a bit too much unbridled take-up of the approach doesn't mean that it won't turn out to be a very useful tool in the toolbox.

I have been practicing Mindfulness myself for a couple of years and tend to view it as the psychological equivalent of an exercise programme and healthy diet: It might not cure what ails you, but it's probably a good facilitator of good mental health.

Here's a recent interesting article on the subject.

JuliusCaesar

Caoimhín wrote: »

Im running out of patience with you lot, this is about ME not some silly theoretic argument.

Thank you.

You do know this is the Psychology Forum?

Personal Issues >>

(You did read the Forum charter, didn't you?)

hotspur

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

You do know this is the Psychology Forum?

Personal Issues >>

(You did read the Forum charter, didn't you?)

I think Caoimhín's post was missing a smiley. At least I hope it was, or he /she needs 10ml of mindfulness body scan stat.

I think the future of mindfulness in this field will probably be tied to future findings on the effects of cognitive distancing / decentring / defusion.

I must say I am partial to many of the metaphors that Hayes et al. have come up with to aid understanding of this. Here are a few visual ones:
http://acceptandchange.com/metaphor.html