Falling into Depression

LegacyUser

Regular poster here but going unreg for this, Basically i find myself being depressed for the first time in my life, I'm 28 and have always been a happy guy always cracking gags(which i still do when in company)



I recently split up with my girlfriend(8 months ago) and i'm still not over her even though ive been with girls and i'm getting myself out there, I live at home which is really starting to get me down, I have a good job but i'm finding it so boring now, over the years when i got bored in a job i moved on but with the recession thats not a possibility now, ive always had good craic with the people ive worked with in other jobs over the years but the guys here take their jobs so seriously and dont share my common interests of sport and music etc etc



Anyway i wake up every morning and start crying to myself for about 20 mins as i lie on my bed thinking about everything, Basically i need to do something fast with my life or i'm going to get into a worse state, as the song goes "i need to go i need to get away from everything", basically id love to know if anyone here has just downed tools and headed off to the states or even somewhere like london? i'm finding life so tough now, when i go for a few drinks i'm getting myself absolutely wasted which makes the depression even worse

dolphin city

it just sounds like you are in a bit of a rut at the minute - it sounds quite normal - why not try renting for a few months and see how you go - it might give you a new lease of life - sometimes small changes can make a big difference. I notice you are 28 - you might have the seven year itch. Did you ever hear of that.......seemingly life goes in cycles of 7 years, most people making changes in their life usually does it around the 7 year cycle. This is why they say that if kids grow out of a lot of young illnesses (athesma) etc they will do it around the 7 year mark.

some people might say its an old wives tale - but if you check it out you will realise that significant changes comes around the seven year cycle.

LegacyUser

No havent heard of the 7 year cycles but maybe thats what it is, i'm just struggling with everything at the moment, was walking down henry st yesterday and tears started rolling down my eyes, I just need to sort myself out, yeah i need to get out of the house, dont want to share with strangers so to rent on my own will cost a good €700 a month, might look into buying a place but that will stop me from just getting out of the country, i just dont know anymore

LegacyUser

Hi Op,

There is a huge stigma attached to depression and because our society has not progressed as openly as other societies we all get freaked out by it, i mean the Irish way was always to repress your emotions and get over it especially for men, I actually look at the whole thing differently.

This time in your life is probably what you needed to have a really good connection with yourself, the bigger picture is that you are concerned for your future you want more for yourself and you want a better life, this time of depression and i prefer to call it a time of awakening is very important, i went through this too and i was in the feckin depths of despair but if you can accept the depression at this time and surrender to it and accept how you are (showing your vulnerable side, allowing the tears to come, accepting you do not want to see loads of people, or stay in with yourself) Like i remember caring soooo much what other people thought of me, i used to feel so inadequate because i wasnt working 9-5 and i wasnt able to sleep, there was a neighbour i had and when she saw me she would always comment.. oh not in work today? she was retired and looking after the garden, i felt like such a looser! but really why did i care so much? its because we are all conditioned to think- be normal but we are all different so this is impossible.

why is this all wrong? you have the whole of your life to be functioning in the 'normal' way if you need to have a down time take it and dont feel guilty, one thing i know for sure was when i learned to accept myself and connect with my emotions i learned to trust my instincts and i let that guide me, after you figure out what the life you really want looks like you build that image as strong as you can and then watch the motivation come back,

Try not to look at this as a bad time, what if it was the making of you, what if it pointed you in the direction you really desired in life, If i was you i wouldnt go away yet until you maybe spoke to someone who could balance it up for you, maybe you would consider a therapist, you may as well start putting yourself first, and start facilitating your needs.

What i was advised to do when i had waves of emotion was to try and get to know it, like become aware of what is going on, so if your walking up the street and the tears come, ask yourself what is going on? what is the feeling? keep saying the feeling and watching the feeling, awareness over your thoughts is the way to overcome the overwhelming experience, in my eyes vunerability is a beautiful thing, you walking up the street shedding tears gives me the image that you are really connecting with yourself, but maybe you are looking at it as a bad thing, cause you think its wrong.

niceoneted

Take a trip to your GP and see what they say or even your pharmacist who might be able to recommend an appropriate over the counter pick me up.

Maybe go see a life coach or counsellor - it might be that you just need a bit of perspective on life or an idea of where you need to focus your energy and to help set goals for yourself.

Writing down your thoughts helps too.
Good luck.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the help guys, when this depression passes and i really hope it does soon hopefully ill be back to my good lively self, ive never thought about things so much as i do now, i used to just jump out of bed in the morning happy as larry whereas now i have no motivation to get out of bed and i just think and cry to myself which cant be right for a 28 year old once mentally strong guy