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Help!!! Difficult work situation

  • 10-08-2010 10:59pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    Going to keep this short and sweet...im in a situation that I'd like your view(s)

    In summary....been working in a bank, and basically I have a boss who micromanages me all day every day..... he gives me something to do and 10 minutes later he's over seeing did I 'get it done' etc..
    If he needs something done urgently he will be "super duper" nice to me, and 10 minutes later he's shouting at me across the department in front of others....verrrrryy annoying indeed...

    I am well able to stand up to him and his tantrums - but lately its just getting too much....i've lost interst in my job as a result - probably because of the fact that I know that I'm in a way doing for him...
    it's at the stage now that if I make a silly mistake, he'll call me a "f*cking eejit" - in front of the other team members, including newbies that he is relying on me to train in.

    I want to do something about it, but don't knowwhat action to take. I know that if I made a bit deal out of this, he could make my life very uncomfortable..but I really cannot stand it any longer

    I used to jump out of bed in the morning and enjoy going to work, but now all I can think of is this overstressed 35 year old guy who looks about 50 giving me abuse everyday



    thoughts anyone?

    thnaks in advance peeps!!


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,576 ✭✭✭Improbable


    I would report him to his boss. Don't know if you can do anything about the micromanaging but you should definitely be able to get him to stop calling you names in front of everyone. Continuing to put up with intolerable behaviour like that will just make you feel worse and worse over time. At least by confronting him or reporting him to his boss will give you the chance of a positive outcome.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    I think you have to draw a line or things may just keep escalating. He sounds like a bit of a lazy bully and he's gently pushed and pushed the boundaries until it's got to this stage. If you're hating going into work and he's making your life a misery anyway then you have nothing to lose from either confronting him or taking it above him - I'm willing to bet he's relying on you just taking it as you have done and not do that which is why he thinks he can get away with it. :(

    Best of luck.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,957 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    Firstly, keep a log of every time he does this, it's handy to keep it written down. You could try confronting him about it, in a calm rational way, and explain how his behaviour is affecting you. If you're not comfortable talking to him about it, you could go to his manager and speak to them about it. You could also speak to someone in HR about it, if you would prefer. Banks generally have a pretty strict code of conduct on bullying etc, so if you report it, they'll have to do something about it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,646 ✭✭✭✭Sauve


    From what Ive read you're being bullied......
    Nobody should be undermined or made feel uncomfortable while at work.
    Speak to HR, they're usually excellent at dealing with these matters.
    But don't just put up with this treatment, it'll affect your career in the long run and you'll end up regretting not saying anything at the time.
    I once left a very good job for this exact reason and regret it now, if only I'd reported the person who was hassling me it'd be them gone, not me!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 494 ✭✭trio


    Firstly, keep a log of every time he does this, it's handy to keep it written down.

    +1. This is crucial. Because otherwise he may very well say you're exaggerating it.

    Open a Notepad file and keep it open on your PC all day under whatever you're working on (call it something deadly boring for safety), and whenever something happens or he micromanages you, jot it down quickly.

    When you feel you have enough, go to HR or his Manager.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22 Nikbik


    You poor thing, you defo shouldn't have to put up with that crack - I bet ya he's a complete slime ball - I had the exact same experience from a manager who I can only describe as a vile creature, I took it for so long until one day he stood behind me leaning his smelly armpits over me banging on my screen. I lost it and nearly put him through the wall. I was most upset and the group manager who I got on great with moved me off his team. Nip it in the bud now he has no right treating or speaking to you like that. Go to his manager and complain and like some others who replied to your post, have times,dates and names he has called you, Or if you don't want to do that get him bet up, That should wipe the smile off his face!! :)
    Best of luck


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Nikbik, you're new here so please read the charter before posting, suggesting violence is against the forum rules.

    Thanks.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22 Nikbik


    Silverfish - I was actually joking.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Nikbik wrote: »
    Silverfish - I was actually joking.

    We have to draw the line, you might be joking, the next person might not, so the line is drawn by not allowing it altogether.

    Please, read the charter at the top of the forum. Thank you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    hi
    thnaks for all the replies and advice so far!
    couldn't get out of work fast enough today....had another session with him today.he brought me into a room and shouted at me for no reason...talking to me like i was a 12 year old that misbehaved....over the smallest thing....anytime i would open i mouth in reply he would talk over me and not let me finish a sentence, so i just sat there blank faced....i just wanted to get up and walk out but of course that wouldn't be a good thing to do at this stage...

    it's the stuff like saying stuff to me about priorities etc that COMPLETELY contradict what his superiors are saying....and when i say that, all he says is... "i dont give a sh*t about what they say"........i just cant win


    Later on in the day, i felt that he sensed i wasn't impressed with his behaviour so he was overly nice....i was having none of it.....
    cant believe i being put in this situation and made feel like this....not blowing my own trumpet, but i would regard myself as a good worker with pride in my work and i always treat everyone with respect... i just dont get it

    i feel my soul is in tatters...i find myself going into work and not saying a WORD to anyone for hours...which is completely out of character for me- he's just broken my spirit


    i know i should take notes and ive started doing that over the last week, but id just be afraid that if i took it above him to his boss (which i get on really well with by the way), or to HR, my working life would be incredibly difficult

    ARRGHHHH!! just so frustrating....i dont deserve this , but at the same time i dont want him to get the better of me, which is clearly what's happening up to now


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47 steveod


    Some handy tips in this article. Have a read.

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199509/when-the-boss-is-bully

    Everybody has the right to be treated with dignity and respect and just because you're in the workplace it doesn't mean this right is suddenly removed.

    I genuinely empathise with you as I have been in the same position myself.

    You mentioned that you're worried about the repercussions of going over you bosses head and telling his boss, which is understandable, however, given the fact that your organisation is big enough to have HR department, I would take the issue directly to them. HR take the issue of harrassment in the work place very seriously for a number of reasons.

    Reputational risk is jepordised, it have a serious impact on the output of the work force, as this can be a direct and legitimate cause of stress which a doctor would then have absolute reason to sign you off for.

    More importantly, from the organisations perspective, there is a legal obligation for this not to happen.

    Employee are protected from harassment at work by two pieces of legislation, the Employment Equality Acts, which don't apply here and the Safety, Health and Welfare at Work Act 2005 which does. Your employer has a responsibilty to Prevent any improper conduct or behaviour likely to put the safety, health and welfare of employees at risk.

    I would argue that your mental health is being jeapordised by your manager's behaviour, especially if he has "broken you spirit".

    I would also argue that you already have enough to present to HR in your meeting with him today. Your manager has absolutley no right what so ever to shout at you or to swear at you. Nor does he have the right to degrade you in front of your work collegue.

    If HR do have a word with this guy, I expect that he might not like you afterwards, but it doesn't sound as if he likes you much as it is, so what have you got to lose?

    You will also be sending out a very strong a clear message that his behaviour is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. This might even have a positive effect on his behaviour; he might realise that you're not somebody he can push around and treat you with more respect.

    Either way, if the behaviour repeats, then you can either employ some of the tips in the attached article or go to HR again. The next time the words from HR will be much stronger. They have a stautory obligation to ensure that this does not happen.

    The most important person in this is yourself, not your boss or your bosses boss, and you owe it to yourself to demand the basic levels of respect.

    Hang in there and Good luck


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thank you steve for them words of support and that link...ive been reading the last hour and its shockingly close how some of these sites describe him.

    Some of them unfortunately say....'if u dont like it, just leave' - but i really want to avoid doing that, considering it would be quite difficult the way things are in the workforce to get another position, PLUS i have commitments etc. so its not quite as easy as that..

    From tomorrow morning, I'm going to start taking notes...I dont want to go to his superiors or HR out of the blue, so i want to have a stack of material they can feast their eyes on!

    As regards him liking me or not as a result, im really past the point of caring at this stage. Although ive tried to build a personal relationship with him over the last 2 years.....bumping into him in the pub for a pint after work...going to the afters of his wedding....I'm afraid my patience has run out...
    He's not my favourite type of person in the world, but he's just my boss, not my friend, so i think that's irrelevant.

    I'm still a little bit afraid as to what would happen if i did make this known...but my sanity and my happiness is ALOT more important...and i know I can't get fired for making an 'official' complaint...can i!?


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