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Irish Guys and Foreign Gals

  • 07-08-2010 5:04pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10 scoondle


    Irish guys chatting-up, dating, marrying foreign girls ... most Irish guys respond "fair play". But Irish women seem to have issues with this.

    Why ? Have I done something wrong ?

    I have never received any unsolicited remarks from men while walking with my wife ... only from women. (Not to mention the dirty looks).

    Is it something racist or is it something about me ? But I still don't know why it matters to a stranger. Can someone tell me ?


Comments

  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    i have no issue with your situation - are you sure you are not imagining the dirty looks?

    i dont know anyone who would have a problem with irish guys marrying foreign girls


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10 scoondle


    Yep fair enough, Ireland is okay with that stuff really. But it happens ... maybe just the 1% of people, but it's there. But when it's your wife it is the 1% that you think about.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,523 ✭✭✭ApeXaviour


    When I spy an Irish male with an (obviously) ancestrally foreign female my immediate gut reaction is something akin to "awww look at them". I'm rather ashamed to admit I get quite a different gut reaction when the genders are reversed. I'm fairly sure it's basic evolutionary instinct, other tribes inhibiting your mating potential. Completely irrelevant with today's society and sheer population numbers.

    i.e. these women need to grow up


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Um, I think I know what you mean OP, I used to go out with a foreign guy, and I only ever got negative comments from men, never from women.

    I think it may be as ApeXaviour said, that some people will comment negatively ( or view negatively) someone going out with someone foreign of their own gender. Most people won't care.

    It's an odd one, but I think the best way to deal with it is just shrug and move on, you're happy, they clearly aren't if they're rude enough to make comments like that to strangers in public.

    Some people will just feel the need to share their negative opinion to strangers regardless, be it height, hair colour, clothes... just give them a nice condescending pitying smile, and move on :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,339 ✭✭✭tenchi-fan


    Maybe the Irish girls don't like the competition!


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  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    I found this myself when I went out with non Irish women and so did they. They defo got more bitchy looks and statements. One example at a wedding I brought my then non Irish GF to, where one of the women asked me straight up "oh why couldnt you find a nice Irish girl(followed by a dig about her being too skinny :rolleyes:). Other women then figured they would join in on this and few engaged her much in convo. That kinda thing though less overt happened me more than once with different exes.

    Though I agree 100% with silverfish as a mate of mine has gone out with a couple of non Irish men and she found exactly the same thing from guys.

    Ignore it OP and just let it wash over you is my advice.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.





  • I'm with Wibbs on this, it happens. It's as if the Irish girls think you're stealing their men. I'm not even foreign, I just look foreign and I still get it. Especially at weddings, funnily enough. Last time some cow asked me how my English was and what I thought of Ireland, even though I have an Irish accent, an Irish last name and she knows I work as an English teacher. It just seems like pure racism to me, mixed in with quite a bit of jealousy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭Zen65


    It's as if the Irish girls think you're stealing their men.

    I think the issue is rejection. If an Irish female is going out with a non-Irish guy, her male friends consider that she is rejecting all Irish guys, and by inference, them. If she chooses a different Irish guy, the Irish friend considers he's still in with a shout, so to speak. The underlying assumption is that the woman's selection criteria should prioritise Irish guys, and failing that, go foreign.

    Likewise for women.

    Am I completely off the mark with this theory?


    Z


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    I married an Irish man, many of our friends are couples made up of irish/foreign mixes and I have to say judging by general discussions on the matter the whole barely concealed xenophobia and occasionally, outright racism, is unfortunately not that uncommon.

    He's had the "what's wrong with our own" comment more than once, I think it's quite bizarre as obviously I chose another nationality over my own as well but obviously choosing irish over my own was mere common sense. :rolleyes: I think that just epitomises the kind of ignorance you are dealing with.

    If anyone says anything, just roll your eyes, shrug it off and be sure to remind yourself the number of people in ireland who couldn't give a monkeys what country people or their spouses are from outnumber those so ill-travelled and ill-mannered to think commenting on who you pick as a wife is even appropriate discussion material 10-1.

    Best of luck :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 778 ✭✭✭jessiejam


    I think it depends where the wives are from
    It wouldn't bother me as a female, wouldn't even look twice, who cares?

    There used to be a culture in ireland if someone married a foreigner, then it was for a visa or money etc, before many countries were accepted into the EU. Now things are different though.

    but i wouldn't think a lot of people think like that anymore
    Unless some 106 year old was shacked up with a 21 year old thai beauty. But thats the irish for ya
    Some still have those tiny small minds

    Take no notice and just smile back


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,170 ✭✭✭Grawns


    Personally I think a lot of foreign girls are doing a public service in going out with Irish guys who would have no hope of getting an Irish girlfriend. I even have an oddball cousin and a severely shy friend who both married asian ladies. We were delighted for my cousin as he had never (and he was over 30) had a girlfriend.

    Girls or guys might be threatened where the foreign partner is obviously attractive and could easily get an Irish partner. So you must be a goodlooking guy OP :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    This is the first generation of Irish people to truly mix with foreign ones. Ireland only connected to the rest of the world properly quite recently. A lot of people on the continent have roots in different countries. We arent used to it yet.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 85 ✭✭johnhargrove


    Can someone narrow down what 'foreign' means?

    Are people get bad reactions to dare I say non-white boyfriends/girlfriends?
    or is it anyone from outside the island of Ireland?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Both, though I'm not sure if whether it was just blatant racism would make it better or worse.

    The group I made reference to range from nothing more exotic than various parts of the UK all the way through to french guyanese.

    Edited to add: I would assume foreign women in the context of marrying irish men to mean any nationality bar irish...


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Can we please keep this on-topic, i.e helpful advice to the OP, rather than a general discussion.

    johnhargrove, unhelpful and off-topic posting can earn you a ban from this forum, please read the charter before posting.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,543 ✭✭✭✭Supercell


    OP this is quite common and not just in Ireland. I am a member of another forum for guys with Asian girlfriends and wives and be they American, Australian, English or Irish..they/we all occasionally get the dragon eye from the local ladies sometimes or worse.

    Most blokes seem to be fine with it. I guess if it was an Irish girl with a foreign guy maybe it would be the same, but I haven't seen that, maybe Irish girls are not so adventurous!

    Its their problem OP, if you are happy and she is with you, who cares what anyone else thinks?

    Have a weather station?, why not join the Ireland Weather Network - http://irelandweather.eu/



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 202 ✭✭Caught


    As someone earlier posted, its about the competition.

    From what I've seen/heard, Irish girls dont like the idea of foreign girls "stealing" the Irish boys. They have enough trouble finding a boyfriend, and if foreign girls are getting with the lads, all the single ladies will get annoyed they "stole" someone who coulda potentially put a ring on it.

    Sorry, couldnt help but underline that. :L

    I think they're just getting upset. I'm not trying to offend anyone, but it seems to some girls I've talked to the "foreign" women are "stealing" jobs, taking money away from taxpayers and draining the country dry. Now they're taking the men.

    Speaking of calling people "foreign" I was in a conversation the other day about who's counted as foreign. It ended with it being settled that the British. Canadian, American and Australian's were not foreign. If you are from another country, you are.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,630 ✭✭✭The Recliner


    OK I have deleted comments that were a general discussion or not aimed at helping the OP

    If people want a general discussion about thsi then PI is not the forum for it

    Please keep comments helpful and aimed at the OP


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 629 ✭✭✭Partizan


    When I lived abroad I dated a girl from that country (Bulgaria), I must say in all my time there I never got any negative looks or comments except for the time I was on a bus with my then girlfriend and some old dude was giving me stick about me being rude accusing me of messing around with my seat :D Damn seat was broken.

    Here in Dublin I dated a Latvian lady for over 2 years and when in a crowded place like on a bus, train or restaurant I did indeed notice the dirty looks from Irish women. I also noticed that she herself had sensed it on a number of ocassions and looked uncomfortable. She told me that any negative comments she received all came from women.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    I dated an Indian guy for a year and used to get filthy looks from Indian women. This was in Ireland. They would also try to chat him up behind my back - one night the waitress in a restaurant was at it, and another night we went to the theatre, I had gone for drinks and another Indian woman was chatting him up. He thought it was funny and actually said to me why don't Irish girls do the same when Irish men are dating foreign women!:eek:

    We split up because his family was putting pressure on him to marry an Indian girl.

    I dated a German before that and when I went over there with him his father's girlfriend was trying to set him up with her daughter under my nose! So it doesn't just happen in Ireland.

    OP, all you can do is ignore it, but I know from some of things I've heard women say that it causes bad feelings among Irish women who feel there's few enough men as it is, and are too narrow-minded to date foreign men. Their problem.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10 scoondle


    Thanks for the comments.

    My wife is Filipina, and that same 1% of narrow minded people exist there too, in The Philippines.

    This not about traditional values either, because in my experience the older Irish and Filipinos more readily accept international marriage. It is the younger ones that I am interested in. My wife says Filipinos are jealous sometimes. Same as Ireland, like a couple of posts refered to competition (same as jealousy, really).

    But, I say again, Ireland is fairly open-minded. I was just interested to hear why someone would have a problem with a mixed marriage. Maybe such people don't use the internet. (Don't know how to)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    scoondle wrote: »
    Thanks for the comments.

    My wife is Filipina, and that same 1% of narrow minded people exist there too, in The Philippines.

    This not about traditional values either, because in my experience the older Irish and Filipinos more readily accept international marriage. It is the younger ones that I am interested in. My wife says Filipinos are jealous sometimes. Same as Ireland, like a couple of posts refered to competition (same as jealousy, really).

    But, I say again, Ireland is fairly open-minded. I was just interested to hear why someone would have a problem with a mixed marriage. Maybe such people don't use the internet. (Don't know how to)

    Mixed marriage! :D In my parents time a mixed marriage meant a Catholic and a Protestant getting married and that caused problems back in the day. What's a good Catholic/Protestant boy/girl doing marrying that useless Protestant/Catholic girl/boy? Why couldn't he/she marry one of his/her own instead of going the wrong way?

    So the attitudes haven't changed, just the people they're directed at.




  • Emme wrote: »
    Mixed marriage! :D In my parents time a mixed marriage meant a Catholic and a Protestant getting married and that caused problems back in the day. What's a good Catholic/Protestant boy/girl doing marrying that useless Protestant/Catholic girl/boy? Why couldn't he/she marry one of his/her own instead of going the wrong way?

    So the attitudes haven't changed, just the people they're directed at.

    People STILL use the term in the North. :( Ignorant, narrow minded people will always find something to have a problem with.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Caught wrote: »
    Speaking of calling people "foreign" I was in a conversation the other day about who's counted as foreign. It ended with it being settled that the British. Canadian, American and Australian's were not foreign. If you are from another country, you are.

    I am from the UK and I would consider myself foreign. I wasn't born here, didn't live here until 6/7 years ago, I carry a UK passport and still consider my "home" elsewhere. The non-irish nationals I know are perfectly happy to be considered foreign and proud of their own nationality, they don't want to be irish.

    It's funny, because I've heard similar as above said by others and I think it's a bit mad. People throwing out xenophobic or racist generalities but the comments don't apply if you are white and speak english as a first language - even if you clearly are not irish. :confused:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    I am from the UK and I would consider myself foreign. I wasn't born here, didn't live here until 6/7 years ago, I carry a UK passport and still consider my "home" elsewhere. The non-irish nationals I know are perfectly happy to be considered foreign and proud of their own nationality, they don't want to be irish.

    It's funny, because I've heard similar as above said by others and I think it's a bit mad. People throwing out xenophobic or racist generalities but the comments don't apply if you are white and speak english as a first language - even if you clearly are not irish. :confused:

    The English are foreigners in Ireland but the Scots and Welsh aren't!!:D

    Only joking. But I understand what you're getting at. I would consider somebody who wasn't born here or didn't spend a significant amount of time growing up here to be "foreign". Having said that, the word "foreign" has negative connotations, I prefer "non-Irish".

    I remember being called a foreigner by a local in Dundrum :confused: years ago because I was only working there and hadn't actually grown up there. That was in the days when it was a real village, not a shopping centre. So if a guy from Dundrum had married me he would have been marrying a foreigner??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Lol. Yeah scotland has it's fair share of ninja territory that "outsiders" would be considered foreign too.

    Yeah, you are right - it seems to be dependant on context..."Are you a foreigner round these parts?" Vs "Bloody foreigners, coming here stealing out mens/wimmins/houses/jobs/economy/dole/whatever". :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    Emme wrote: »
    The English are foreigners in Ireland but the Scots and Welsh aren't!!:D

    Blimey! Where does that leave me??? I'm English of Barbadian descent (but hold dual British/Barbadian nationality) married to an Irishman. I live in Ireland and love living here, but home to me is London.

    Have to say I've never had the 'evil eye' from the Irish, but most people think I'm African with little command of English until I open my mouth. Then it's fairly obvious I'm not!:D I do get the odd ignorant comment like 'Where am I from?' When I tell them 'London', they're flummoxed and don't know what to say:). Most of the time, I've found people to be friendly and welcoming.

    Funny enough, the death stares come from the Africans who think I'm with hubby for a passport. I joke that HE should ask ME for one!

    Never mind OP - Like the others say, just ignore them. They're just jealous!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    Its 2010 :)

    you see alot of irish guys with black girls. So be it :) Inter-racial relationships I think is a term thats dead.

    Its natural.
    Think about it a few years polish people came to ireland. I worked with a guy in a job (the manager) and he was dating a polish girl.
    My last girlfriend was black :P To be honest, i never saw myself dating a black girl. I dunno. Just never did. Ever since :) I see a girl as a girl.


    Sad fact is Ireland is behind the UK (and most of the world)
    Different ethnicities have been living in the uk for decades. Its common place for a white man to date a black girl. Here in Ireland the doors have onlybe open since what, mid to late 90s?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12 tommo111


    ApeXaviour wrote: »
    When I spy an Irish male with an (obviously) ancestrally foreign female my immediate gut reaction is something akin to "awww look at them". I'm rather ashamed to admit I get quite a different gut reaction when the genders are reversed. I'm fairly sure it's basic evolutionary instinct, other tribes inhibiting your mating potential. Completely irrelevant with today's society and sheer population numbers.

    i.e. these women need to grow up

    Agree with ApeX here. I tend to have the same reaction. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, people can do as they please.
    But if I see a gorgeous Irish woman with an obviously foreign guy, I do tend to think "oh, it's cause he's got that Italian thing going on I bet".

    Same as when I used to live in London. Any time any of my English mates saw me having luck with the ladies it was "because of my accent". Admittedly, I did tend to be more popular over there than here:(

    i used to go out with a polish girl. Any of my female friends would usually comment "oh so you like the polish girls, like most irish men". I don't think they were judgemental or anything - they probably just knew some guy they like who'd been "robbed" by a foreign girl


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    Blimey! Where does that leave me??? I'm English of Barbadian descent (but hold dual British/Barbadian nationality) married to an Irishman. I live in Ireland and love living here, but home to me is London.

    Most of the time, I've found people to be friendly and welcoming.

    If you speak with a Barbadian accent and live in Cork you probably sound a bit like the natives. Have you been to West Cork and heard the accent there? I think it sounds a bit like the Barbados/West Indian accent.

    Dey don't pronounce "th" in Barbados or Cork. Sure you're not foreign at all girl! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I recently spent some time in Asia and was surprised at the amount of western 20-50 year old men that were living out there with their Asian spouces/girlfriends. I didnt see a thing wrong with it, just didnt realise that it happens so regulary. Asian women are beautiful, much more naturally beautiful than Irish women so why not! Also I found them to be much nicer, and less bitchy than Irish girls.

    I cant understand why Irish women should have such a problem with it.. I lived in Italy for a while and the Italian men love Irish women! and I never saw the Italian women having a problem with it. Probably because they were all after the Irish men!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    I recently spent some time in Asia and was surprised at the amount of western 20-50 year old men that were living out there with their Asian spouces/girlfriends. I didnt see a thing wrong with it, just didnt realise that it happens so regulary. Asian women are beautiful, much more naturally beautiful than Irish women so why not! Also I found them to be much nicer, and less bitchy than Irish girls.

    And Irish men aren't bitchy???:rolleyes::P:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    Emme wrote: »
    And Irish men aren't bitchy???:rolleyes::P:D

    I'm sure Irish men can be bitchy too lol.

    But as a 25yo guy, my view on your average irish woman (of course not all) is that they can be stuck up when approaching them.

    Alot of times its to much for a "thank you, but sorry no" response ... irish women just seem to think its fitting to blank someone.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    LighterGuy wrote: »
    I'm sure Irish men can be bitchy too lol.

    But as a 25yo guy, my view on your average irish woman (of course not all) is that they can be stuck up when approaching them.

    Alot of times its to much for a "thank you, but sorry no" response ... irish women just seem to think its fitting to blank someone.

    Is this thread going to descend into another Irish-women-bashing tirade? Would women in any other EU country be different?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,630 ✭✭✭The Recliner


    Emme wrote: »
    Is this thread going to descend into another Irish-women-bashing tirade? Would women in any other EU country be different?

    It wont because any more posts that are not aimed at the OP's issue will be infracted


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,064 ✭✭✭Distorted


    I don't see anything wrong with Irish guys and foreign girls, or indeed vice versa. But what I do think (and I keep these thoughts to myself but I have to say most of my friends have the same opinion) is that "mail order brides" don't reflect that well on the guy. For me it says that the guy is more comfortable with a woman from a culture where perhaps they don't answer back or have any independence outside marriage. Comments about Irish girls being stuck up and hard to talk to just drive this image home. Maybe the guys need to improve their social skills a little and whats going for them as people?

    There was a guy at my friend's work who was nearing 40, no wife, suddenly announces he is getting married to a Chinese woman who barely speaks English whom he had only "spoken to" on the internet. Lovely girl but you have to wonder just what guys who do this are actually looking for. It certainly wouldn't be mutually stimulating conversation.

    I have to admit I'm always impressed by a guy if he has a wife/girlfriend who is attractive and intelligent. That guy I speak of above was later sacked for viewing porn at his work, obviously this is just a coincidence, but maybe things worth the effort require a bit of effort in the first place?

    I reiterate I have no problems with couples of any colour or even gender getting together, if theres genuine chemistry, but I do think internet brides from Third World Countries and arranged marriages are insulting to women, as are some of the comments about Irish women above.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    It wont because any more posts that are not aimed at the OP's issue will be infracted

    :(:(:( i was just getting warmed up and all (haha, joking)

    But as for the OP's issue.
    Anyone who stops and thinks "oh he is irish, and she is black [indian, chinese etc] - how weird" clearly is a fool.
    Its 2010. Ireland is a bigger place now. We're more open to the world.


    But lets be honest. The only real issue you'll find the male population comment about is a white woman with a black man. It has that whole stigma of well, you know. ..."What she with him for? cause he has a big...etc"

    Personally, im not going to comment on that one. As I dated a black girl. But... alot of people would.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    Distorted wrote: »
    I reiterate I have no problems with couples of any colour or even gender getting together, if theres genuine chemistry, but I do think internet brides from Third World Countries and arranged marriages are insulting to women, as are some of the comments about Irish women above.

    These marriages are practical arrangements - the man benefits by getting an apparently subservient wife who doesn't challenge him openly, the woman benefits by getting to live in a society which is more affluent than the one she grew up in. I read an article on Irish men/Filipina brides in the Sindo a few months ago. In most cases the men were giving their Filipina wives money to send home to their families. It may not be the accepted way of doing things but several people benefit from these arrangements, not just the couple.

    On the flip side the availability of these women mean that men who would have otherwise made an effort with themselves to attract a local woman - lost weight, took care of their of their appearance, developed a personality etc. feel that they don't need to bother because they can get a pretty, subservient woman from an Asian country who will take them as they are.

    These women, even though marrying a foreigner may alleviate a harsh economic situation for themselves and their families, are lowering the bar for men who don't feel the need to bother making themselves appealing to local women anymore.

    Having said that, most Irish:Foreign marriages are a result of one or the other partner meeeting when travelling, working or studying abroad. Which seems perfectly normal to me.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,064 ✭✭✭Distorted


    Emme wrote: »
    These marriages are practical arrangements - the man benefits by getting an apparently subservient wife who doesn't challenge him openly, the woman benefits by getting to live in a society which is more affluent than the one she grew up in. I read an article on Irish men/Filipina brides in the Sindo a few months ago. In most cases the men were giving their Filipina wives money to send home to their families. It may not be the accepted way of doing things but several people benefit from these arrangements, not just the couple.

    On the flip side the availability of these women mean that men who would have otherwise made an effort with themselves to attract a local woman - lost weight, took care of their of their appearance, developed a personality etc. feel that they don't need to bother because they can get a pretty, subservient woman from an Asian country who will take them as they are.

    These women, even though marrying a foreigner may alleviate a harsh economic situation for themselves and their families, are lowering the bar for men who don't feel the need to bother making themselves appealing to local women anymore.

    Having said that, most Irish:Foreign marriages are a result of one or the other partner meeeting when travelling, working or studying abroad. Which seems perfectly normal to me.

    I pretty much agree with all of that! Lets face it, a Filipina or Thai woman, for example, with little education or prospects, living in relative poverty, is not going to turn down the chance of marrying a rich Westerner and setting up both herself and her family for life! (Though I have heard of a few problems once they establish themselves in the west and decide not to be so subservient any more). Fair enough to the guys if thats what you want to do, but don't be too smug about it. You can't control people's thinking. Then of course if say an Eastern European women who has married an Irishman gets fed up and divorces him and walks off with a good settlement, all women are tarred golddiggers!

    If you complain that the native women of the country you live in aren't interested in you, why does that mean there is something wrong with them and not you? An inability to interact with your peer group of the opposite sex in your home country? It kind of comes across as complaining that Irish women are not sub-servient enough because they have the right to education and work. Its a type of misogyinism.

    And yes, I totally distinguish people who meet foreign partners through work, study and travelling from internet brides and those who go on "sex holidays" to Third World countries. Its nothing to do with the colour, its the inability to socially interact with your peer group in your own country.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    Distorted wrote: »
    Then of course if say an Eastern European women who has married an Irishman gets fed up and divorces him and walks off with a good settlement, all women are tarred golddiggers

    Why should Russian women who marry Irish men on mail order websites be tarred golddiggers if the Irish husband turns out be abusive after a few years and she finds no option but to divorce him? They are entitled to a divorce settlement just as an Irish woman would be. OK, there are extortionists and predatory women everywhere, but Irish women are just as likely to divorce their husbands and bleed them dry as an Eastern European or any other foreign woman.

    I find the concept of Russian mail order brides unnerving because some of these women look similar to me, and if I were in their shoes I am not sure I would be any different. I too would want to get myself and my children out of a corrupt country with dangerously high pollution, low life expectancy and high rate of alcoholism among men. When you think about it mail order brides are taking a huge risk.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,960 ✭✭✭Moomoo1


    Emme wrote: »
    Why should Russian women who marry Irish men on mail order websites be tarred golddiggers if the Irish husband turns out be abusive after a few years and she finds no option but to divorce him? They are entitled to a divorce settlement just as an Irish woman would be. OK, there are extortionists and predatory women everywhere, but Irish women are just as likely to divorce their husbands and bleed them dry as an Eastern European or any other foreign woman.

    I find the concept of Russian mail order brides unnerving because some of these women look similar to me, and if I were in their shoes I am not sure I would be any different. I too would want to get myself and my children out of a corrupt country with dangerously high pollution, low life expectancy and high rate of alcoholism among men. When you think about it mail order brides are taking a huge risk.

    to me it's social snobbery. People think that if guy A is cooler/more popular/more attractive than guy B then guy A should have a fitter chick on him than guy B. If guy B tries to somehow 'cheat' this unspoken 'system' by getting someone (more/as attractive than guy A's local partner) from abroad then guy B is somehow seen as 'abnormal', 'desperate', etc etc. Maybe it's something Darwinian: a tribe/society will do the best if its most attractive members on both sides get together and the less attractive members also get together and so on.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,064 ✭✭✭Distorted


    Moomoo1 wrote: »
    to me it's social snobbery. People think that if guy A is cooler/more popular/more attractive than guy B then guy A should have a fitter chick on him than guy B. If guy B tries to somehow 'cheat' this unspoken 'system' by getting someone (more/as attractive than guy A's local partner) from abroad then guy B is somehow seen as 'abnormal', 'desperate', etc etc. Maybe it's something Darwinian: a tribe/society will do the best if its most attractive members on both sides get together and the less attractive members also get together and so on.

    Its not just attractiveness. I said I admire guys who have attractive, intelligent girlfriends/wives. Particularly if the woman has or has held a good job or is clever in some other way, such as running a business, or has a talent at something, and you can speak to her and have a good, stimulating conversation. I feel exactly the same about Irish guys who have Irish girlfriends/wives and they are not attractive and/or intelligent as I do about Irish guys with internet brides from third world countries. And you get unattractive women from all countries...

    Basically, a guy's choice of partner tells you an awful lot about his character. It used to be the case that an attractive, personable wife was a great asset to a man in his career. Its probably still the case to some extent.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,630 ✭✭✭The Recliner


    What part of this is not a general discussion do people not understand

    This thread ceased being useful to the OP a long time ago


This discussion has been closed.
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