I can't lock the door

Loopy

I'm staying in my sisters house, everyone's in bed now. Im pissed and cant close the conservatory door. Ten mins trying, its stiff as fuck. If I wake her she'll hava an eppo. The door wont bleedin close. She said DO NOT go to bed without locking the door.

Wat'll I do...

Victor

Sleep on floor inside door.

stovelid

Write a sign outside saying BIG FUCK OFF DOG INSIDE HONEST and go to bed.

Loopy

Victor wrote: »

Sleep on floor inside door.

Not a chance Victor, with the bleedin dog.

The Big Red Button

PM me the address ... I'll call round and lock it for you ... nothing dodgy involved, I swear! :pac:

Also,

Loopy wrote: »

its stiff as fuck.

Too much info!

justshane

wd40, try it.:D

mikom

Loopy wrote: »

Ten mins trying, its stiff as fuck.

Keep going I'm nearly there.......... try twisting your hand as you move it up and down.

Sharpshooter

Loopy wrote: »

I'm staying in my sisters house, everyone's in bed now. Im pissed and cant close the conservatory door. Ten mins trying, its stiff as fuck. If I wake her she'll hava an eppo. The door wont bleedin close. She said DO NOT go to bed without locking the door.

Wat'll I do...

Go to bed and get up before she does, Loops.:pac:

She'll never know.

Make sure you set the alarm on your phone though.:D

Loopy

Sure post it in AH but dont mention anything about being stiff!
Olive Oil maybe for a birra lub perhaps, no WD40 in the press

mojesius

Loopy wrote: »

I'm staying in my sisters house, everyone's in bed now. Im pissed and cant close the conservatory door. Ten mins trying, its stiff as fuck. If I wake her she'll hava an eppo. The door wont bleedin close. She said DO NOT go to bed without locking the door.

Wat'll I do...

I must commend you on your fantastic drunk spelling and punctuation.

Stinicker

Break the glass in the door yourself with a chair, then start roaring and screeching and run upstairs to wake the whole house that some scumbag tried to break - in. Start crying and be all emotional, no one will ever tell the difference. Ring the Guards, file a complaint, your sister can claim for a new door off her insurance.

*May involve criminal damage to door, wasting gardai time and resources and insurance fraud. Anything you do is entirely at your own risk. Either that or figure out how to lock the door.

messymess

Where / how exactly is it sticking? Dab of washing up liquid in a few key places perhaps?

Failing that just use your jacket to break a window, quietly trash the place, head to bed and then just play dumb and pretend someone broke in after you hit the sack.

Ickle Magoo

Is it closing in any way or could there be some kind of latch on?

Carsinian Thau

Smash the glass of the door in and then hit yourself on the head with the rock used, lay down and bleed for a while. Mumble about the "bad man" periodically.

She can't get mad at you if you were viciously attacked moments before you locked the door and fought off the thief before he could steal any of her stuff.

In fact, she may even buy you a coke to say thanks!

Loopy

mojesius wrote: »

I must commend you on your fantastic drunk spelling and punctuation.

Thank you darling;)
Punctuation was always my forte..

4zn76tysfajdxp

Loopy wrote: »

Ten mins trying, its stiff as fuck.

*Snigger*

Loopy

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Is it closing in any way or could there be some kind of latch on?

Its just wont turn, tried olive oil... no latch on it.

mojesius

Loopy wrote: »

Thank you darling;)
Punctuation was always my forte..

Is there no-one else in the house you can wake up besides your sister? A small child who knows the lock and can be bribed?

Stinicker

Try pushing the door the other way!

Loopy

Anahi Attractive Reversal wrote: »

*Snigger*

Don't go there, you wouldn't know what a stiffy was boyo..

bronte

Do what I do...scream profanities at the door until it does what you want.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Loopy wrote: »

Don't go there, you wouldn't know what a stiffy was boyo..

Thanks to you.

Loopy

mojesius wrote: »

Is there no-one else in the house you can wake up besides your sister? A small child who knows the lock and can be bribed?

An 8 month old, cheers I'll go wake her and see what she has to say about it:D

digme

Loopy wrote: »

I'm staying in my sisters house, everyone's in bed now. Im pissed and cant close the conservatory door. Ten mins trying, its stiff as fuck. If I wake her she'll hava an eppo. The door wont bleedin close. She said DO NOT go to bed without locking the door.

Wat'll I do...

you ruined my thread of i have 8 cans drank 6 will i drink the other 2 and feel like **** tomorrow?

Dudess

You've two choices: her going ballistic over being woken, and you're drunk so the edge will be taken off a bit, or her going ballistic in the morning when she discovers the door isn't locked - and you'll have to face this hungover.

Or just leave a note saying "Sorry sis, I tried but I couldn't lock the door" and go to bed.

Sharpshooter

Dudess wrote: »

You've two choices: her going ballistic over being woken, and you're drunk so the edge will be taken off a bit, or her going ballistic in the morning when she discovers the door isn't locked - and you'll have to face this hungover.

Or just leave a note saying "Sorry sis, I tried but I couldn't lock the door" and go to bed.

Perfect.