Only attracted to girls I'm friends with

LegacyUser

Alright this is a bit of a strange one but I really need advice. Just had a bad experience with a girl who I was friends with and it made me realise I'm only ever attracted to girls I already know. I can just start off being friendly with a girl without any interest and then boom, I like her. This never seems to happen with girls I've just met who I just can't seem to click with. Problem is all these girls I like see me as just a friend (which I was originally before I develop feelings).

Basically I need advice on breaking out of this cycle. How do I stop myself falling for girls I'm friends with?? I just can't seem to feel attracted to girls I don't know as much and I don't know why

Nevyn

Maybe you only make friend with girls you are attracted to but don't see it right away but that same thing draws you to them.

Next time don't be thier friend, ask them out on a date.

d.anthony

Maybe it's just that you need to get to know someone to be attracted to them and that's why you be friends with them first.

Victor

Maybe I fall into a similar trap, but wouldn't you like you girlfriend to be someone you like as a friend anyway and vice versa?

PopUp

Hmm. What's the time frame involved? How long are you friendly with the girls, usually, before you start to have romantic feelings? Do you think the romantic feelings could be there from the beginning, but you don't know yourself well enough to recognise them, or are they definitely new? And finally, once you realise you have these feelings, how long do you generally wait to act upon them?

Sorry to bombard you!

Can be tricky. If you are friends for awhile you could sometimes ruin your friendship by telling them you have feeling for them. All tho sometimes they will be happy because you told them.

Up to you at the end of the day, i presume you have feeling for a friend who you are really close to? I was in the same bracket a few years back, i told her and we started meeting for a month or two then just broke it off. We're friends now but wouldn't be as close.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do anyways.

Wibbs

Thaedydal wrote: »

Maybe you only make friend with girls you are attracted to but don't see it right away but that same thing draws you to them.

Next time don't be thier friend, ask them out on a date.

This.

Girlfriend. The word "girl" comes before "friend". That's a big clue right there. Think on the woman first as a romantic idea first and the friend part if you're lucky will follow. It seems very logical to try and find the friend part first and sometimes that does happen, but IME its a small enough proportion of successful couples. A lot start off as complete strangers with the romantic/sexual element to the fore. I figure better to go with the odds as a general rule.

LegacyUser

OP here,

Yeah I reckon that some of you are right about the romantic feelings being there at the start and I'm just not recognising the signs. I amn't deliberately attempting to befriend these girls as some sort of ploy to get them into bed, I just seem to fall for them after a few weeks or months. I think the advice of asking girls out on a date straight off seems to be the best idea to see is there any spark and the friendship can come after.

Cheers everybody