trapped?

LegacyUser

Just looking for advice.
Been with my boyf 4 years and I'm starting to feel trapped.
We live together and we are v.young. Its all a bit much. I'm only 23 but I feel like marraige and kids is the only future we have.
The plan is travel,house,dog, then marraige then kids.
Thats not normal right.....l don't even know if we should be together a year let alone FOREVER. aaaaaah

Anyone with experience of similar situation? What should I do?????

ManOfMystery

Has your bf actually mentioned marriage? Or are you assuming this is what he wants and what is in your immediate future?

No-one can force you to do anything you don't want to do. So there's no need to feel trapped - you are in control of your own destiny.

If you don't want to think about marriage yet, don't.
If you don't see a long term future with your boyfriend, then break up with him rather than leading him on.
If you do see a future but want to remain as you are for now without the house, marriage and pressures that come with them, you need to make that clear to your bf too and see if it's something he is prepared to be patient about.

Depending on how he feels of course, there may be some friction and he may hear things he doesn't want to hear - but no-one said this would be easy. Ultimately though, you have to do what's best for you as going into any longterm arrangement that you're not happy about will inevitably end in tears.

Being with a partner and having a long future laid out in front of you doesn't have to be boring either. It's up to both of you to do things to spice it up. Travel together? Work abroad? Take up new hobbies together - sports, dancing, music, whatever? etc.

When the time is right and BOTH you and your partner want the same thing (whether it's your current bf or someone else down the line), you'll know it.

LegacyUser

I am exactly in the same position i feel trapped every single day i just want to get away from it. I got into it too young not knowing what it would involve. I just want to be young again go out see my friends. I want tol leave him but i dont know how i have no where to go.

The only advice i can give you is move out if you have somewhere to go.

Ickle Magoo

Unless you can't wait to share a future with your boyfriend and you can't stomach the thought of not being together forever, then I'd suggest he's perhaps not the man for you.

Have you told him how you feel? What would you rather be doing? Get your own head straight about your short, medium and long term plans in a perfect world and see if can or even want to involve your boyfriend in them. If you are feeling trapped then perhaps setting up with someone isn't what you really want - or perhaps he isn't the right someone?

All the best.

dsmythy

ellen5 wrote: »

Just looking for advice.
Been with my boyf 4 years and I'm starting to feel trapped.
We live together and we are v.young. Its all a bit much. I'm only 23 but I feel like marraige and kids is the only future we have.
The plan is travel,house,dog, then marraige then kids.
Thats not normal right.....l don't even know if we should be together a year let alone FOREVER. aaaaaah

Actually it's quite normal for two people who love each other. Seems here we have a case of you just not feeling love for him anymore.