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Internet dating - Early stages dating sparks?

  • 05-08-2010 10:50pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Eternal love life drama and apologies in advance for the length!! I keep falling for the wrong type of guy. I broke up from a long distance long term relationship after Christmas (in late 20's now). No desire to get back with ex whatsoever just to clarify!

    So since this I have somehow managed to fall for idiots who treat me like rubbish get what they want and walk away. I met an amazing guy and had a fantastic month of dates only for him to suddenly walk away saying he was hung up on an ex. I was getting completely disillusioned with regular dating and meeting people on a night out & so decided to give the internet dating thing a try.

    After chatting with a guy constantly for a few weeks we decided to meet up - was a little un-nerved by it seeing as I'd never done anything like it before but decided to just go for it. There wasn't any real awkwardness at all despite never meeting before and he seems like a genuinely lovely sweet guy we chatted for hours and kissed goodnight have been in constant contact by text since and plan to meet up again.

    Question is - I don't know if there's that "spark" there but seeing as i've never been on a date like that before I don't know if this internet dating thing feels like more of a slow burner thing anyways?? If you meet someone in a bar or something you have the anticipation of waiting to hear from them but because so much of the internet thing is done the opposite way initially its so hard to judge. I've been out of the whole initial dating thing for so long and so used to being in a LTR I don't know how the initial stages are supposed to feel if that makes any sense???

    And I also don't want to lead him on seeing as he is such a lovely guy only to figure out in a months time that its not what I want - arrgh am I thinking way too much into something at this stage????


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Well, I've been on a date like that but did have the spark.

    It depends I guess on whether you're the type of person who feels that your feelings can grow from that starting point. It never works for me.

    I'm either into it or I'm not - if I don't have that initial zing, it never grows.


  • #3
    Odaise Gaelach
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,235 ✭✭✭Odaise Gaelach


    assistance reqd asap! wrote: »
    Question is - I don't know if there's that "spark" there but seeing as i've never been on a date like that before I don't know if this internet dating thing feels like more of a slow burner thing anyways?? If you meet someone in a bar or something you have the anticipation of waiting to hear from them but because so much of the internet thing is done the opposite way initially its so hard to judge. I've been out of the whole initial dating thing for so long and so used to being in a LTR I don't know how the initial stages are supposed to feel if that makes any sense???

    Just go with the flow. Relax. You enjoy this guy's company and he enjoys yours. It should feel good and right and comfortable more than anything else.
    assistance reqd asap! wrote: »
    And I also don't want to lead him on seeing as he is such a lovely guy only to figure out in a months time that its not what I want - arrgh am I thinking way too much into something at this stage????

    Yes, you're thinking way too much into it. That's what dates are for: to find out whether you really like someone or not. If after a month or two or even after the first date you decide that it's not what you want, then that's okay. Doesn't make you a bad person. You tell him, end it and move on.

    Good luck! :D


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