need advice on this!

Jola1981

Hey All,
I’m a girl from foreign country who is living in Ireland for lat 4 year and dating very nice Irish guy for last 11 months. From the start we are getting on really good. He is the niece’s guy that I ever met and whenever we spend time together we always have great time. The only think that I would change I would like to spend a bit more time with him. We usually spend every weekend together and sometimes one night over the week. It’s not like he don’t have time, we bought working from 9-5 and have free evenings and I know he usually doing just nothing. I asked him few times during the week does he want come over and he always agreed but he never asking me first to spend eve during the week. I never complained to him about this I thought he will just catch up when I will suggest meeting during the week but he didn’t. I totally trust him, know all him friend and family, so it’s just this one thing. Should I just tell him that I would like to spend more time with him, I really don’t like push anyone to anything. Oh and we have usually 2,3 phone calls during the week but during the conversation just how is the week going. I’m 27 and he is 28.

Feu

hello

so your question is "should i tell him i'd like to spend more time with him?"

Well, yes, i suppose! If that's what you'd like, you should ask for it. But... You say that you usually spend the weekend together, and do something one night during the week? And then in addition to this, you might suggest meeting up another night, and that's fine, and he does that, but he never suggests meeting up another night himself?
*

I think i've been the other side of this, and to be honest, i just need some "me" time. Spending 3-4 nights a week with one person can be a lot for some people. Enough for some people. THat's not saying that they don't love you, or don't want to be with you, but your interpretation of "free evening" just "doing nothing" could be his 'guy time' or 'me' time. Just an idea.

Alternatively, he might not even realise that this is an issue, and he might love to see ya every night of the week!!

Of course, if it's really important to you, you just need to talk about it, like any other issue you might have in a relationship. You're going out a good long while now, so should be no bothers to talk about something like this, but just remember, the fact that he may want to spend some of his time not with you is not necessarily a reflection of how he feels about you! You may just need to find a happy medium

*As an aside, does he come up with ideas of stuff to do? Because not doing this can really get on some people's nerves

Emme

Irish guys sometimes don't like to be "full-on" straight away. You're doing very well spending weekends, one night a week together and 2 or 3 phone calls as well - most Irish people would be very happy with that.

Most Irish guys expect a woman to have a life of her own outside a relationship - are you here long, could you make some more friends?