Terrified of having sex!

wealthyman

So the story goes I'm a young 21 year old gay guy and don't have any experience whatsover with having sex with men. I am meeting with a guy soon and it's highy probable that we will be engaging in oral sex. Now I know he has had a few partners in the past and I have abit of acne round my mouth so would wearing a condom be advised or what is the likelihood of catching anything?? Seems strange wearing a condom while engaging in oral...Thanks

falabo

Hi
I would strongly advise you to wear a condom, especially if you don't know the chap.

By the way you're saying "it's likely we'll be having sex" ... I dont know the circumstances or anything but dont feel obliged to do anything. if you dont fancy the guy don't do anything ...

Heebie

Be warned.. condoms taste AWFUL!

If you're terrified of having sex.. you might want to make sure that you don't do anything until you meet someone you feel pretty comfortable with.

Doop

Do people actually wear condoms for oral sex???

I know the "advice" is to, maybe its promiscuous of me but I have never performed or recieved oral with a condom involved.

the_syco

Heebie wrote: »

Be warned.. condoms taste AWFUL!

You can get flavoured condoms. Boots does them I think. Raspberry, banana, strawberry, etc. Six flavours in a box.

Doop wrote: »

I have never performed or received oral with a condom involved.

Are you taking long-term partners, or someone you just met? OP, if this is your first time, put on a flavoured condom. It'll be more enjoyable for your first time, and spare you a shot in the eye if your timing is off :P

On the off chance that he wants to suck you off without having a condom, read this here which tells you what can help your jizz taste nicer, including a smoothie recipe.

Finally, ensure you wipe any cock cheese off before the date.

MultiUmm

the_syco wrote: »

You can get flavoured condoms. Boots does them I think. Raspberry, banana, strawberry, etc. Six flavours in a box.


Are you taking long-term partners, or someone you just met? OP, if this is your first time, put on a flavoured condom. It'll be more enjoyable for your first time, and spare you a shot in the eye if your timing is off :P

On the off chance that he wants to suck you off without having a condom, read this here which tells you what can help your jizz taste nicer, including a smoothie recipe.

Finally, ensure you wipe any cock cheese off before the date.

:eek: Nice mental image there after dinner!

Doop

the_syco wrote: »

Are you taking long-term partners, or someone you just met? OP, if this is your first time, put on a flavoured condom. It'll be more enjoyable for your first time, and spare you a shot in the eye if your timing is off :P

On the off chance that he wants to suck you off without having a condom, read this here which tells you what can help your jizz taste nicer, including a smoothie recipe.

Finally, ensure you wipe any cock cheese off before the date.

Er... alot of the time people ive just met... seriously tho.. i cant be the only one doing this? Without towing the line poeple, be honest does anyone use condoms for oral?? I'm obviously all for safe sex...but for oral?
(/*doop creeps off to ask his female friends)

jizz smoothie?? sounds delightful!

cock cheese...? cringe

MultiUmm

Doop wrote: »

Er... alot of the time people ive just met... seriously tho.. i cant be the only one doing this? Without towing the line poeple, be honest does anyone use condoms for oral?? I'm obviously all for safe sex...but for oral?
(/*doop creeps off to ask his female friends)

jizz smoothie?? sounds delightful!

cock cheese...? cringe

Well, I've never done it at all myself with a stranger or not, am still slightly young yet ..

But tbh, if it was a complete stranger I'd kind of insist on using a condom. What if the person actually does have an STD? I'm honestly not sure if you can get STD's from unprotected oral? I know if the person giving oral has a cold sore or something there's a chance the person receiving can get herpes, but for more serious stuff like HIV I really don't know ... so I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Also, say if you're giving unprotected oral and you and the other guy want to get a bit more 'intimate' we'll say, in the heat of the moment you could forget to put a condom on him/ on yourself, especially if you're after a few drinks. Also, I could be wrong but ... if you're flippant about using condoms for oral, would you not be more inclined to be flippant about bothering with them at all? I mean you might think to yourself "What's the point at all? The guys I have sex with are all clean, I wouldn't give them unprotected oral otherwise..."

Sorry if any of that sounded stupid, I don't have much experience with these things yet.

oisindoyle

MultiUmm wrote: »

Well, I've never done it at all myself with a stranger or not, am still slightly young yet ..

But tbh, if it was a complete stranger I'd kind of insist on using a condom. What if the person actually does have an STD? I'm honestly not sure if you can get STD's from unprotected oral? I know if the person giving oral has a cold sore or something there's a chance the person receiving can get herpes, but for more serious stuff like HIV I really don't know ... so I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Also, say if you're giving unprotected oral and you and the other guy want to get a bit more 'intimate' we'll say, in the heat of the moment you could forget to put a condom on him/ on yourself, especially if you're after a few drinks. Also, I could be wrong but ... if you're flippant about using condoms for oral, would you not be more inclined to be flippant about bothering with them at all? I mean you might think to yourself "What's the point at all? The guys I have sex with are all clean, I wouldn't give them unprotected oral otherwise..."

Sorry if any of that sounded stupid, I don't have much experience with these things yet.

You say the guys you have sex with are "all clean".Question for ya ,How do you know they are clean ?
A person with HIV can look healthy fresh faced and fit .Appearances are deceptive .Did the guys you have sex with have a document to say they are HIV negative? I doubt it .
In other words what I am saying is IF you are having sex with different guys /one offs/or regular guys for sex..treat them all as if they have an STD.
You are after all playing with fire otherwise !
Safe sex at all times ,kids!

MultiUmm

oisindoyle wrote: »

You say the guys you have sex with are "all clean".Question for ya ,How do you know they are clean ?
A person with HIV can look healthy fresh faced and fit .Appearances are deceptive .Did the guys you have sex with have a document to say they are HIV negative? I doubt it .
In other words what I am saying is IF you are having sex with different guys /one offs/or regular guys for sex..treat them all as if they have an STD.
You are after all playing with fire otherwise !
Safe sex at all times ,kids!

I've never had sex, so I can hardly get an STD from myself. :pac:

You might want to reread my post. I was using that line as a kind of example, hence the inverted commas.

Dwn Wth Vwls

Well...

STIs that are commonly caught through oral sex are:
chlamydia
gonorrhoea
genital herpes
syphilis

Infections that are less frequently passed on through oral sex include:
HIV
hepatitis A, hepatitis B, and hepatitis C
genital warts
pubic lice

Herpes and HPV (warts) are passed via skin-to-skin contact, so a condom won't fully protect you. These two happen to be incurable also, so as you can see there is always a risk no matter what.

Even despite all that, I'm pretty sure using protection for oral sex is not very popular. The best thing you can do to protect yourself in regards to oral sex is to discuss STIs with anyone you intend to have sexual contact with, before you have it.

Ask if they have been tested recently and if they get tested regularly. Ask what their opinion of safe sex is, and if they always use condoms for penetrative sex. As the old saying goes, if you're not mature enough to talk about sex, you're not mature enough to have it.

Never trust anyone with an excuse, e.g. "oh I just got tested, we don't need to use protection" or "You're a virgin so you don't have anything, and I don't have anything". If they say it to you, or are willing to do it with you, how many other people have they done it with?

Never do something you don't want to do or feel uncomfortable about. Especially not if it's out of fear that this is your only opportunity or something like that. If things don't feel right with this guy, just don't do anything. You'll meet someone else soon enough. It's easy to believe "oh I've gone 21 years without finding someone to have sex with, what if it's another 21 years before I find someone else? Must. lose. virginity.". Total rubbish.

L1011

In all my years of attempted slaggery, I've never even MET someone who's used condoms for oral sex. May as well just have a ****, tbh.

Heebie

Those still taste like rubber.. they just have the added imitation fruit flavours which don't tend to be very good either.

For the OP: It is a good idea to use condoms, especially if you don't know the status of your parnter.. or don't know your partner at all.. but you will find that most guys don't use them for oral. You should make your own choice.. just keep in mind that there can be consequences for doing something less than "ideal"

but.. you can't live your life terrified of sex.. that just won't do. =O

the_syco wrote: »

You can get flavoured condoms. Boots does them I think. Raspberry, banana, strawberry, etc. Six flavours in a box.

Annasopra

No-one should feel pressurised into having Anal or Oral sex


A 2006 study by the Dept of Health showed that 70% of gay men reported never having anal sex and 27% of gay men reported never having oral sex.

Beruthiel

the_syco wrote: »

what can help your jizz taste nicer.

Pineapple works.

the_syco

Beruthiel wrote: »

Pineapple works.

Grenades, eh? :P Intersting. Something to keep in mind.

Annasopra

Beruthiel wrote: »

Pineapple works.

Cheese and pineapple go well together

LGiamani

wealthyman wrote: »

So the story goes I'm a young 21 year old gay guy and don't have any experience whatsover with having sex with men. I am meeting with a guy soon and it's highy probable that we will be engaging in oral sex. Now I know he has had a few partners in the past and I have abit of acne round my mouth so would wearing a condom be advised or what is the likelihood of catching anything?? Seems strange wearing a condom while engaging in oral...Thanks

Wear a condom you have no idea where his cock has been before. I given head but only with a flavoured condom. Thats the first bit of advice from a mature guy(30). The guy you are meeting is he initating sex or are you under pressure to impress. I been with a guy your age in the past and never put pressure on him to do anything. I open the shop for them for them to pick and choose sometimes they go for it sometimes they leave and come back later. Thats the life I choose not to hurt or offend but enjoy what comes your way

MultiUmm

Johnnymcg wrote: »

No-one should feel pressurised into having Anal or Oral sex


A 2006 study by the Dept of Health showed that 70% of gay men reported never having anal sex and 27% of gay men reported never having oral sex.

I'm actually kind of surprised at that a little bit. I always thought it was something that was expected in a relationship with two guys.

Imo the perception that all gay men have anal sex comes more so from straight people than gay people. I think some straight people take it for granted that it's part and parcel of being gay, when the reality seems to be a bit different, at least according to that study.

Annasopra

MultiUmm wrote: »

I'm actually kind of surprised at that a little bit. I always thought it was something that was expected in a relationship with two guys.

Imo the perception that all gay men have anal sex comes more so from straight people than gay people. I think some straight people take it for granted that it's part and parcel of being gay, when the reality seems to be a bit different, at least according to that study.

Yeah it's quite interesting but sexual contact doesn't necessarily have to involve anal or oral

The report can be read here - the part on gay sex (male and female) starts at page 220 of the report
http://www.dohc.ie/publications/pdf/ISSHR_Main_Report.pdf?direct=1

Doop

MultiUmm wrote: »

I've never had sex, so I can hardly get an STD from myself. :pac:

You can if you keep touching yourself, like you have been....*


(*this may or may not be true)

MultiUmm

Doop wrote: »

You can if you keep touching yourself, like you have been....*


(*this may or may not be true)

Oh noes, I'll be in my death throes by now, too late for me! :eek:

azezil

Beruthiel wrote: »

Pineapple works.

I have pineapple nearly every day for that very reason but an ex used to complain about the taste anyway

Meanwhile, those flavoured condoms still taste of latex. *vomits*

And OP, I didn't have sex in any shape or form till I was nearly 23. Wait till you're ready, or in my case incredibly drunk and not wanting to be a 23yr old virgin.

Beruthiel

azezil wrote: »

I have pineapple nearly every day for that very reason but an ex used to complain about the taste anyway .

Maybe you ate something else that counteracted it?