Help Please!

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Five months ago me and my gf of 4yrs spilt up.In the whole of our relationship we had never gone through a rocky patch at all and a few months before we broke up we did and she tried her dam hardest to get through it but i didnt and we ended up breaking up from it.At first i tried gettin over her and not thinking about but i cant and ive tried kissing other girls but i actually cant cause i would feel like that im cheating on my ex even though were spilt.My mind is full with regret cause i know that if i tried harder that we would still be together.

Were broke up five months but i still feel like it happened yesterday and cant get over it as i still feel she is the love of my life and was just a few months of being stupid that i didnt try for reasons i dont know.Ive told her how i feel but she wont let me meet up with her or anything. Two days after we broke up she applied for a job in Scotland and took it and is moving there at the end of September.I dont think she wants to meet up because she is moving away then and doesnt want to make things harder, and when i was talking on the phone to her yesterday i being stupid asked if she has kissed anyone since we broke up and cause she is honest she said yes one guy in a nightclub one night but thats it, i actually got sick from this and felt horrible.

Ive told her by text and phone how i feel and my regret and everything and i have tried gettin over it but cant and i want to give things a try as i feel we can work things out and was my fault but she says its not gonna work cause she is moving away and everything and she doesnt just want things to work and it should without it being to hard.

Im gonna leave her alone for a week or so to let her think but what do people think i should do then, call over to her without notice, send her a letter?

Thanks for reading

Miss Fluff

Have you heard of the following expression OP?

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.

I think you have to accept that this is over my dear.

If there is a chance, and I am all for looking at the glass being half-full, then the way you are behaving now has got to stop. You have to leave the girl alone. You have to respect her wishes. You have no right to ask her if she has been with anyone else unfortunately and you see that the answer she gave you was actually of no help or benefit to you.

If you want to:

a. get over her and/or b. ever have a slight chance with her again (which being honest I think looks unlikely), then you have to set her free. No letters. No phonecalls. No contact. By calling her and repeatedly telling her to give it another go, you are actually pushing her further her away.

I know your heart is broken and I do feel your pain, it is a horrible old situation to be in. But in order to get your act together, and start feeling happy in yourself and positive about your future, you have to let this go.

Hugs x

LegacyUser

What d'you mean by "if I'd tried harder"? What went wrong?

CliffHuxtabel

Dude, if your ex accepted a job working in Scotland I think she's saying pretty unequivocally that she wants to move on with her life and start fresh.

I don't know the exact circumstances of your break-up but it's 5 months now and the window of opportunity for you guys to patch it up has probably closed.

Don't worry about her being the "love of your life". You'll meet other women for sure.

One positive about your situation is that she's moving abroad. "Out of sight, out of mind" if you know what I mean. The quickest way to get over someone is simply not to see them.

Of course its natural for it to hurt for a while but there will be in time in the not-too-distant future when you will look back at this time and remember only the good things about the person you loved and lost. Best of luck whatever happens