Called girlfriend by the wrong name

LegacyUser

I called my new girlfriend my ex's name by mistake. I was really embarassed and she was upset. I now cant stop thinking about the mistake and am really nervous around my girlfriend and am afraid I will make the same mistake again. HELP, going insane

Tar.Aldarion

Don't worry about it, makes you more likely to say it. S'no big deal, obviously you will be thinking of your ex sometimes at the start of a new relationship i guess, worrying will make her more on your mind and you say it

WindSock

If you think she is worried, reassure her it was from habit and you don't have any more feelings for your ex. It probably happens more often than you think

Silverfish

Split from an old thread.

Big Bag of Chips

It doesn't mean anything. I'm with my husband 10 years. I sometimes call him/refer to him by my brother's name. My in-laws have called me by his ex's name (even 10 years on!) It's not big deal..

It doesn't mean anything, it just a "habit", and a name you are used to saying.

Sinall

An ex of mine once called me by the name of a girl we both worked with. My mum calls me my brother's name sometimes - I'm a girl! These things happen

murpho999

I really wouldn't worry about it. I did that a few times at the start of relationship with my wife and she also called me by her ex's name a couple of times too. We both just laughed it off!

It really shouldn't be a big deal. How often do people mix up names of family, colleagues etc. All depends what's on your mind at the time.

Don't let your new girlfriend give you a hard time about it. She should be relaxed enough in the relationship to realise it's just a mistake, if she makes a big deal out of it you're probably as well off without IMHO.

panda_cub

Ugh, this can all be very sensitive but you have to brush it off and put it down to honest mistake.

I was really conscious of it when I started going out with my boyfriend, partly from habit but also because the names were similar, but you fall out of habit eventually!

sbsquarepants

How to deal with women lesson 1 - Call them all baby, they love that and more importantly you can't mix them up!:D

Seriously, don't sweat it, it happens to everybody, i'm always mixing peoples names up, it doesn't mean a thing except that i have a head like a sieve! Don't make a big deal out of it or you'll only make it worse and more likely to happen!

You (thinking): Don't call her karen, don't call her karen, don't call her karen.
Her: Cup of tea dear?
You: Yea, thanks karen!
You(thinking): S'hit. Don't call her karen again, don't call her karen again.

Recipe for disaster!

LegacyUser

thats exactly what im doing now! cant get ex out of head because afraid to call new gf her name. anything i can do to forget her?

moco

My boyfriend called me 'mam' last night:eek:

Just don't worry about it, maybe try and keep saying your new girlfriend's name in your head or something!

Tar.Aldarion

utterdisaster wrote: »

thats exactly what im doing now! cant get ex out of head because afraid to call new gf her name. anything i can do to forget her?

Use your girlfriends name in every sentence to her, you might get used to it then

Abi

WindSock wrote: »

If you think she is worried, reassure her it was from habit and you don't have any more feelings for your ex. It probably happens more often than you think

^This.



I did it a long time ago, and the guy I was with was pretty upset about it. I can say hand on heart that it was just a habit. Especially if you've been with someone a while, it can come out at any stage - mid conversation, whatever. It just seems to hurt a lot more if it's in an intimate situation, and it can be hard to prove that there are no feelings there any more.


Going Insane: I'd say thats what happened with you too, just explain to her what we've said here. It was a habit, and there are no feelings there. She might still feel a little raw about it for a while, but remind her that it is her you are with.

jurgenscarl

I wouldn't worry about it too much.
I remember I was on school and I accidentally called the female teacher 'Mammy' because I suppose when you are little boy you are hard wired to identify a caring female figure as a mother figure.
Same thing happened when I had a male teacher.
Some kids called him 'Dad' by accident.
When you call a girlfriend by an ex's name - it's because the relationship is at the level that it reminds you of a previous one that reached that same level.
If you had a girlfriend in the past you were in love with and you feel the same emotions with a new girl, your brain gets all confused.
So that's why you called her by your ex's name.
It doesn't mean anything.
I am one of several brothers and we all look alike so people are always mixing up our names.
There was an episode of Family Guy where they kept mixing up the actors Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman.
That's really all this name mix up means.
It's silly but means nothing:D

bigbadbear

I'm always calling my sister by my girlfriends name and vice versa!! Tis grand once you dont say it at the altar or in bed.

You should probably joke about it with her but then again all gf's arent the same.

Niche market

Don't worry about it, we all make mistakes... im sure she knows it dosent mean anything! The only reason its playing on your mind is because you may feel slightly embarrassed about it.. :rolleyes:

If it makes you feel better, i once called my sixth class teacher "nanny" :eek: scarlet.com

Tender Hoop

Legend. I've done this a number of times. Normally I just pretend I didn't do it or if I'm challenged i'll just play it down.

G-Money

Would she have been so upset had you called her by someone else's name that you haven't been in a relationship with?

Don't worry about it, it was just a slip of the tongue. We all make mistakes like that and call people by the wrong name now and again and no-one gives two hoots.

You haven't done anything wrong so just forget about it. I'm not really sure why she's getting upset over it. Some people have a bit of a victim mentality or just seem to make everything about them.

Just act like nothing happened. You wouldn't apologise to her if you sneezed or something would you? This is no different, it's a non-issue so just relax and forget about it

cinderella2010

My boyfriend called me by another girls name once - he swore he didn't even know a girl by the name he called me - turned out to be some girl he was piping just before he met me and knocked her up - anyways my advice is start calling her babe, honey, sweetheart etc in future call all gf pet names then you will never ever have another mix up

Kingpin187

Ive done this twice

Ex - with for 6 years and have a 4 yr old daughter

My partner now - about 1.5yrs.

They have kinda the same beginning of the name, and it has nothing to do with not being over my ex etc that ship has sailed lol. Its just habit, and I still have contact for my daughter so still speak

Even to this day I sometimes NEARLY say it and have to consciously make sure I dont to avoid unneccesary upsets

Kidchameleon

Definitely happens OP, happened me...

The Minstrel

I've done this a few times...I agree it's worrying

LC2010HIS

weve all pulled a Ross Gellar

Dont worry. Just make sure you dont talk about your ex ever again.

Das Kitty

I can guarantee it means nothing.

I sometimes call my son by the name of my mother's dog! I keep doing it, it's a bit embarrassing, poor baby.

I also called my husband "Phyllis" once in bed! It was the name of a woman at work whose name I could never remember and I was very tired.

troubleshooter

going insane wrote: »

I called my new girlfriend my ex's name by mistake. I was really embarassed and she was upset. I now cant stop thinking about the mistake and am really nervous around my girlfriend and am afraid I will make the same mistake again. HELP, going insane

If you date alot and cant remember a name, just say, " I love your name, but theres two ways to spell it, how do you spell your version".

Blew it once with an amazing girl, like your story, we had a date, a few nights later she invited me over and we had an amazing night, on the third date I got her name wrong :-(