Caught up in an undesired situation

Jack The Butcher

Okay, so this is how it went down.

I live with this old bloke - he's like 47. I'm half his age.
We live the chilled life.
No stress, no pressure and no money.

He doesn't pull in however, a huge quantity of ass.
One thing he is good at however, is hosting guests.

So this one evening, he had this couple of be-atches around to the flat.
The deal was, he was gonna cook, and buy the beer, and pay for everything - and then he was gonna fock one of them.

My part of the deal was, I was gonna take the bitch he was focking - her friend - and I was gonna fock her.
I had never met/seen/had any dealings with her, but it was a case of, if our man wanted to fock his bitch, someone had to fock her friend.
So being a nice guy, and getting a free meal, I stepped up to the plate.

Anyways, he had all the gear cooked up and the fridge was full of bear and we were sat around, shooting the breeze, watching telly, and waiting for the be-atches to arrive.

Knock-knock.

He goes to get the door.
His chick walks in.

Holy ****.

My jaw hit the floor - we're talking fit as..

I hear a voice behind her.
My bitch walks in.

I tried to conceal the shock on my face, when I saw this focking walrus,
Gabourey Sidibe stunt double, staring back at me.

She gave me a horrible toothless grin.

I'll spare you the details but suffice to say the evening culminated with my having the most uncomfortable sex of my life and feeling the most ashamed and disgusted I've ever felt of myself.

The only part that was enjoyable was the blow job, cause, as everyone knows, fat chicks can suck a mean dick.
But even that wasn't sufficient to compensate me for the rest of the horribleness that went down.

She was a filthy hoe as well - let me take her from behind, crucifix position and let me skeet in her mouth.
But as I said, none of that was compensation enough for the feeling of having this bitch with a blow hole, wheezing away on top of me, like a focked boiler.

When it was done I went out to the kitchen only to find my flat mate and his smoking hot bitch - doing just that - smoking, and drinking beer.
I got stuck into the cans and tried to drink myself into a coma.

I still try fruitlessly to erase that horrible evening from my memory.

ElaElaElano

Nice to see you Jake, c'mere, have you thought about becoming a novelist at all?

Jack The Butcher

ElaElaElano wrote: »

Nice to see you Jake, c'mere, have you thought about becoming a novelist at all?

Firstly - I'm assuming, given your user name, that your female.

So given that assumption is correct - have you any such similar tales of woe that you can relate to us from experience??
Good to hear from the female perspective, you know?

And I love nothing more than hearing a good story (well, that's not strictly true, but I love it none-the-less).

storm2811

Huh, maybe you'd get better women if you didn't refer them as "bitches".

tony1kenobi

You kept up your end of the deal...that makes you a man in my book...maybe reign in the mysogyny and you could gain the status usually reserved for Gods....

IM0

Jack The Butcher wrote: »

She was a filthy hoe as well - let me take her from behind, crucifix position and let me skeet in her mouth.

so thats what they mean when they say "I nailed her"

Sharpshooter

Jack The Butcher wrote: »

Okay, so this is how it went down.

OP skinned, and layers opened up to reveal the same old shit.