Your demeanour when out.

Handsome Bob

Hey all, I'll keep this one short and sweet. I'm interested to know about how you hold yourself when out and about at night or within any social setting. Would you be conscious of your demeanour? Do you worry about it?

I know a lot of blokes who feel they absolutely have to stress the fact that they are having a good time because to them, this is what attracts people to them. I on the other hand would be more relaxed, and I perhaps do admittedly come across as if I'm disinterested and brooding even when I am having a good time. It doesn't bother me though, it's not something I think out until someone questions me about how I hold myself.

So what about you lot, how do you hold yourself? Is it something that just comes naturally to you or do you see it as a game where you are putting a show on with "the right signals and visuals"?

Wolfe Tone

I know what you mean, but I just do not care anymore. I just try and have fun, if I am not, I don't hide it, I leave and go somwere else.

amacachi

My demeanour varies a lot depending on where I am and the exact situation. I don't care about it very much but I would guess that first impressions aren't my strong point, I probably come across as a bit of a bully first time I meet someone and they can't take a joke. :pac: If there's less than maybe 5 people in a group I'm probably happy enough looking from a distance, more than that and I find conversation doesn't flow very well amongst everyone and when I'm not doing anything my default expression appears to be a scowl. :pac:

tailgunner

amacachi wrote: »

when I'm not doing anything my default expression appears to be a scowl.

I'm exactly the same, can't help it. I've been particularly happy lately for various reasons, and I was out a couple of weeks ago, having a really great time. Anyway, went to the bar to get a drink, and a girl came up to me and told me I looked far too serious and needed to lighten up. I get this kind of thing all the time so I'm fairly used to it at this stage.

Even worse, I'll occasionally notice my reflection in a window or something and for a split second before I recognise myself, think "what's up with that grumpy looking bastard?"

I used to make a concious effort to try and smile more, but then I found that I was making such an effort to look like I was having a good time, that I kinda forgot to have one. So it's back to enjoying myself and scowling.

Aidric

Jaysus Lads, sounds like ye are thinking too much. Who cares about giving out the right signals on a night out.
You are out to enjoy yourself and to hell with trying to give off the right look or the right stance.

amacachi

tailgunner wrote: »

I'm exactly the same, can't help it. I've been particularly happy lately for various reasons, and I was out a couple of weeks ago, having a really great time. Anyway, went to the bar to get a drink, and a girl came up to me and told me I looked far too serious and needed to lighten up. I get this kind of thing all the time so I'm fairly used to it at this stage.

Even worse, I'll occasionally notice my reflection in a window or something and for a split second before I recognise myself, think "what's up with that grumpy looking bastard?"

I used to make a concious effort to try and smile more, but then I found that I was making such an effort to look like I was having a good time, that I kinda forgot to have one. So it's back to enjoying myself and scowling.

Wish there was a laughing smilie here, that's exactly what I'm like. :pac:

krudler

My default expression is a bit scowly as well. This usually works both ways, either women think I'm all moody, surly and therefore mysterious, or I'm just a grumpy fcuker. It did get me chatted up one night a few years back though, was out with a few friends was one of those nights where I wasnt really feeling it and only came out at the last minute, wasnt really in a "packed city bar on a Saturday night" kinda mood, but anyhoo as the night went on one of my friends was telling me something really funny and I let out a huge laugh and couldnt stop smiling for a few minutes, a girl was standing near us and said she thought I'd looked fairly down all night but if I had a nice smile I should use it more. 10 mins later we were bopping away on the dancefloor, great success

most of the time I look like a grouch though, didnt matter when I wasnt single as I wouldnt have been trying to pick up women anyway, but now I'm back on the market so I guess I should lighten up a bit when out.

Galvasean

My 'default' face is depressed apparently. I keep getting told to cheer up!

entropi

I dont actually know what my default face would be, but I'm usually in a chilled out mood most of the time so probably neither happy, sad nor scowly/scorpy. But when I'm out, I usually have a good time without having to try...so even if I did have many signals coming my way, I dont notice them as if I head out its usually to have a good time and not to score:pac:

Scrambled egg

My demeanor when out and about usually depends on the crowd im with. I don't choose my demeanor , it more or less just happens from the people around me.

DazMarz

Depends on the situation, but my default face is usually quite serious looking.

When I'm out, unless I'm actually having a whale of a time, I'm usually quiet and reserved, waiting for something to happen! Makes people think I'm brooding over something... or that I'm just a miserable fúcker...

But I dont' really mind that much anymore, as on nights out lately, I've been with good mates and we've been having a great laugh, so the 'brooding' look never gets going!

DA365

Before I go out I look in the mirror and shout

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

That gets me in a right party mood regardless of how I felt beforehand. Surrounding myself with positive people when out keeps that woo feeling going!

Snowie

Aidric wrote: »

Who cares about giving out the right signals on a night out.
You are out to enjoy yourself and to hell with trying to give off the right look or the right stance.

couldn't agree more having a good time and others always come to you :cool:

HavingCrack

amacachi wrote: »

My demeanour varies a lot depending on where I am and the exact situation. I don't care about it very much but I would guess that first impressions aren't my strong point, I probably come across as a bit of a bully first time I meet someone and they can't take a joke. :pac: If there's less than maybe 5 people in a group I'm probably happy enough looking from a distance, more than that and I find conversation doesn't flow very well amongst everyone and when I'm not doing anything my default expression appears to be a scowl. :pac:

I always get told to smile more as well :mad:. But I'm usually in quite a happy mood when people say this to me so I guess I'm just not a smiley sort of person :rolleyes:.

DA365

HavingCrack wrote: »

I always get told to smile more as well :mad:. But I'm usually in quite a happy mood when people say this to me so I guess I'm just not a smiley sort of person :rolleyes:.

It makes a difference if you've always got a smile - hard to explain but absolutely crucial imo.

jurgenscarl

I think the best thing to do before you go out is put on your favourite piece of music and have that in your head the whole night - like it is your own imaginary movie biography soundtrack.

I do some martial arts and the most important thing it taught me is not to stand to attention with shoulders back and chest out.

Imagine instead you are a string puppet with a hook at the top of your head and all the weight in your body is going right down into your feet.

You're whole body is relieved of stress or tension and your arms are loose at your sides.

A good thing to do is bring the tips of your thumb, index and middle fingers together. It stops nervous fidgeting and helps you relax.

Don't walk around holding your pint protectively across your chest and instead of stand still looking around, go up to people and start conversation.

Works for me.

Sound Bite

Hey guys, had read this post before but had nothing to add until now.

I was out Friday night and just before I left the house, I got some really good news which put me in great form.

The difference this made was unbelievable. Would consider myself fairly average in terms of looks and figure..would get approached by men every now and again but Friday night I was approached by a huge amount of men, most of whom commented on either my smile or how much I appeared to be enjoying myself.

Much to my embarrassment, one guy who I'd see regularly in the pub but never got talking to before, came over and said "I see you're over the break-up then?"....I was like WTF but he just started laughing, said he's always considered me attractive but i usually look miserable.... Cringe.

I've two dates lined up for next wk already and all because I smiled. I'm thrilled, who knew such a simple thing could make such a difference. A friend who was with me claims she's been telling me that for years.

Moral of the story: You demeanor when out is hugely important!!!! Do not underestimate it. Got more attention in one night, that I probably did all year.