I feel like giving up on girls completely

Misty Chaos

Hey there,

Basically, I'm an extreme introvert and nothing and I mean NOTHING can help with girls, not even so called dutch courage. I'm freaking 24 and at this stage, I'm ready to give up completely and accept the fact I'm going to die alone because I am socially retarded and I feel I am beyond any form of help. F***, I'm the nicest, quietest person there is but all the girls go for dickheads and no matter what, I'm not interested in lowering my standards for the sake of experience, I'd rather die alone.

I'm just about ready to completely give up, no one seems to care, guess it was meant to be this way. God damn, I hate condemning myself but I live in a town full of f***ing retards who don't care/ I wish I was born in another generation because the generation I have to put up with is the most ignorant and retarded generation ever. WHY THE F*** WAS I BORN IN SUCH A RETARDED GENERATION!?

F*** it, it doesn't matter, I'm too old for this BS. I accept it now, no one cares. F*** MY PARENTS, THEY F***ED ME UP!! I don't care, I always felt like a Gianna pig, cruel experiments to f*** people up and now, I have to cope with the Borden.

I'm not sure how much longer I can cope, I sometimes feel like ending it all and I'm sure not many would care. I hate being tormented but its the way things are. I'm a martyr, no one cares for my needs, only for the greater good.

pardon my rant, I'm drunk and frustrated and just want someone to call my own and don't give me any BS, because IT WILL NEVER WORK!!!!!

kjl

Well you want to explain why you strick out?

Smyth

Where and with what type of people do you socialise OP?

Your post doesn't make sense to me. You say you're an extreme introvert, which by nature means you don't (if at all) talk to other people, and would lead me to believe that you probably don't chat or approach women that you're interested in?

If you've had as limited a social branch as that, how can you possibly come to the judgement that all the people in your generation are retards? To make a claim like that, you would have had to have talked to a large percentage of people in the town.

I could be wrong but I sense that you've just spent the night looking at women getting chatted up by other men, and you're resentful of that.

I could mollycoddle you here, but I'll be brutal.

If you want to get someone, you need to get off your ass and go talk to them. You have to accept that you WILL be rejected...probably quite a bit, but that you're playing a game of numbers, and that at some stage it might pay off. You see a girl...go say hi. It's not a big deal. You need to overcome your self esteem and confidence issues. Accept that they're there, but also accept that there's a part of you inside that dislikes that fact. You need to work on making that the dominant controller.

If you want this to happen, you need to WORK on consciously putting yourself in the situations you want to be in, no matter how uncomfortable they make you. Nobody is going to do it for you.

Also, stop blaming your parents. You're 24 for gods sake. You own your mind. Any faults which you have now are your own. The beautiful thing about owning it is that you can do what you want with it.

minidazzler

You blame the world for your own failings with women? Does that seem logical?

You are not a martyr, you feel like ending it because of some rejection? Talk to someone, the samaritans are as good as anyone. 1850 60 90 90

Saying it will never work is resigning yourself to failure. So therefore, it will never work, because you don't have the personality to make it work for yourself.

You can't change your whole generation, even though, in my opinion, they aren't the problem.

You can change you, and your introverted nature, it is possible, even if you are 24, you are not defined as a person yet, hell, you may never be.

Their is a difference between being introspective and being so quiet that people won't approach you and you not them, so work on that.

5/6 years ago, I was you, I hated me, and was sure everyone would.

Then I changed me just a little, I stopped not talking. Now I have fun, friends and can chat to a wall if I want. The only thing I did was stop caring what people thought of what I said. It had worked out really badly on occasion, but mostly very well.

Ickle Magoo

Do you think it's your attitude that could be the problem OP? If you seriously think all girls go for dickheads and you are certainly not "lowering your standards" for the sake of experience? Oh and everyone else is retarded and ignorant but you're just the nicest quietest person?

You sound angry and bitter - not attractive qualities. You also seem to assume pretty girls always go for morons and anything else is lowering your standards, that doesn't sound very nice to me. If you are allowed to have a flaw such as being chronically shy and expect someone else to be interested, why don't you stop aiming for the stars and be a bit more realistic about who you show interest in and forgive them their flaws in the process - I'm sure they are the nicest bar whatever it is you assume would be lowering you standards to accept.

Best of luck

LegacyUser

he was drunk, we all had those bad nites out,hes probably still in bed now and when he sees what he wrote at 3am this morn,im sure he'l be embarassed!!

JonathanAnon

Misty Choas wrote: »

Basically, I'm an extreme introvert and nothing and I mean NOTHING can help with girls, not even so called dutch courage.

This isnt strictly true.. There's guys called Pick Up Artists who have written books on how to make yourself more "appealing" to women.. A guy called Neil Strauss, has a book called The Game, which is quite good... This explains what you can do to make yourself more confident and how to get girls interested in you. I'm not saying it's the panacea to your problems, but a lot of your attitude seems to be limiting beliefs about yourself which may not necessarily be true..

If you see somebody who is really good at something, you should try to model them and you will have a better chance of getting the same results.. Whatever about these "idiots" who are able to pull the girls... from the girls perspective, the guy is someone who they like, feel comfortable with, respect, makes them laugh... So to give yourself a good chance of getting the girl you need to make them feel similarly.

So there is something you can do. I think you just need to be better mentally prepared when you are heading out to these places, and not carry such huge negativity with you. Even if you are not speaking, people can pick up on this negativity in your body language and expressions.. And nobody wants to be around negative people..

good luck..

Denerick

The OP is misanthropic. Some misanthropes take out their rage on angry art and poorly produced arthouse movies. Others scream and become alcoholics. Either way there is something not right and I'd suggest to the OP that they see a therapist to help deal with the innate bitterness evident from your post.

poochierockz

Denerick wrote: »

The OP is misanthropic. Some misanthropes take out their rage on angry art and poorly produced arthouse movies. Others scream and become alcoholics. Either way there is something not right and I'd suggest to the OP that they see a therapist to help deal with the innate bitterness evident from your post.

could not agree more

BLACKEN

a comment wrote: »

he was drunk, we all had those bad nites out,hes probably still in bed now and when he sees what he wrote at 3am this morn,im sure he'l be embarassed!!

To be honest but the way he wrote everything quite well for a drunk person.......... so i dont think he is! more depressed than anything. but he mite just come back and read what we have to save here. most people have to same problem as him at some stage of there lifes. But the cold hard facts of life are simple........ sometimes nothing can be any better and sometimes lifes tough and cruel and bitter.

REJECTION will happen...... but everytime somebody gets rejected we must take what just happened and ask one self.... how can i improve what i just did...... and like someone else just said it IS a numbers game.
But honestly i think the most important thing someone who lacks coinfedence is to generally enjoy these new found experiences and learn from them.

Denerick

In Vino, Veritas, and all that.

Nevyn

You need to look at yourself and your life and start making changes, don't do the same things and go to the same places and repeat the same patterns and expect a different result.

opinion guy

Ok OP.

Step number 1.
Stop getting drunk.

BLACKEN

Thaedydal wrote: »

You need to look at yourself and your life and start making changes, don't do the same things and go to the same places and repeat the same patterns and expect a different result.

Could'nt of put it a better way myself!

katie99

There was nothing 'introverted' about your post here.
You come across as a bitter and angry young man who believes the world owes you something.
Well wake up. This is life.
Your language as appalling.
You are responsible for who you are, what you are and how you commmunicate with others.
Stop playing the blame game.


So firstly ask yourself what type of girl would you like to meet and chat with.
Then write down the various places you can visit where you are likely to meet such a girl.
Join a club/society/sports team.
Practice in the mirror at home chatting to girls.

Stand up straight and look at yourself in a full length mirror. I bet you are quite a handsome young man. Take those chips completely off your shoulders!! Smile, imagine you see a girl and you want to let her know you are attracted to her. So smile!!

Life is what you make it. And not everyone, despite what they might say, is 100% confident. You are still very young and have your whole life in front of you.

Get out of the rut you are in and get out there and enjoy life.

CliffHuxtabel

OP, I agree with the person who suggested you shouldn't drink so much on a night out.

I cut down on how much I drank when going out socializing and meeting girls and I found it actually increased my confidence interacting with others.

Also, I no longer feel like garbage at the end of the night (physically and emotionally).

LC2010HIS

Misty Choas wrote: »

I'm the nicest, quietest person there is but all the girls go for dickheads !!

And im the nicest person there is but all the nice guys go for the manipulative evil bitches and sluts - "woo" :P

Yeah, i wish i was born in the 1940s or something - NOT IN IRELAND!

HavingCrack

Op, being so negative won't help your situation at all. I do think its much harder for lads trying to meet girls these days than the other way around but I'm not sure why. All the other posters have kind of summed up what I'd say. Keep the chin up though and try reading 'How to Influence Friends and Influence people (a 1940's book) and The Game, both of which have some good advice on building up self confidence and becoming the more outgoing person people want to get to know better

LC2010HIS wrote: »

And im the nicest person there is but all the nice guys go for the manipulative evil bitches and sluts - "woo" :P

Yeah, i wish i was born in the 1940s or something - NOT IN IRELAND!

Would have been just the right age for fighting in Vietnam if you were an American .

dreamstar

OP,
Have to say that after reading your post I'm not surprised you're not getting a girl - seriously watch the language.
If you spoke like that to me you'd get a smack!

LC2010HIS

drunk fellas are not attractive

Wibbs

In my experience anyway and as a general thing women differ from men in one respect: they have a much more sensitive nose for desperation and bitterness in the opposite sex. I suppose it makes sense as women have more to lose in a lot of ways if they pick a wrong man.

So the more you get into this funk, the less likely you will attract a woman and if you do get lucky, you'll lose her fast or she'l be the wrong sort anyway.

I like others would suggest therapy to help you on this score.

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

JimmyCrackCorn

Im not the best with women myself but i make an effort and i do ok.

Your attitude comes across really badly. Maybe your just frustrated which is understandable.

Some things in life you need to work on to get good at, relationships are one of those things.

Also one thing you said about nice guys and ass-holes. If by nice you mean doesnt disagree with her or goes along with everything she says, thats not being nice.

Fiend-Foe

The only advise for you is the usual stuff you get here all the time, there's no reason why it won't work for you. Maybe you should try moving away from your parents and away from this town that makes you miserable. I had a difficult time at home and left at 17 and it was only after some time living alone that I developed fully. Independence will bring confidence and contentment. But please please please do not go down the PUA route, girls are not thick and can smell this slimeball sh1te a mile away. It's really pathetic stuff. Best of luck.

Zen65

Misty Choas wrote: »

I'm not sure how much longer I can cope, I sometimes feel like ending it all and I'm sure not many would care. I hate being tormented but its the way things are. I'm a martyr, no one cares for my needs, only for the greater good.

pardon my rant, I'm drunk and frustrated and just want someone to call my own and don't give me any BS, because IT WILL NEVER WORK!!!!!

Perhaps if you return to this forum when you are not drunk it will be possible to engage in some discussion around your situation, if that would be helpful to you?

In the meantime, ask yourself this..... if you are a martyr, for what/who's cause are you being a martyr ?

Be at peace,

Z