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No easy way to breakup?

  • 31-07-2010 9:40pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Been thinking about this a lot. Basically been going out with my gf for around 18 months and its gone very stale. Mostly my fault cos I moved to a different country for the summer for work. Tried to keep in touch but just couldn't make it work. I'm pretty sure she's in love with me still cos of the way she texts/calls me.

    Anyways she's coming to visit me in two weeks- and we've already booked a holiday away for when i get back. I know in my heart that its not going to work out but just wondering what I should do?

    I could just play along till after the holiday and breakup then

    or I could break up now (over the phone) and tell her not to come in 2 weeks

    or I could let her come over and breakup after that but before the holiday


    Whats your opinion with breaking up with someone over the phone? I don't want to do it when she comes over as it'll ruin the weekend for both of us. I was talking to one of my friends about it and she was like that if it was her she'd want to know straight away and it'd be better to tell her straight away rather than messing with her head by thinking i'm still in love with her.

    Any advice?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    thnigs to consider...she is probably starting to get excited about the visit with you and will be left alone and at home which would be very embarrassing for her so i would call her asap before things get worse/harder.at least she could change her plans, etc, i would want to know too. whatever about feeling like a twat after a phone call , but flying somwhere , anticipating a lovely holiday with my bf to be dumped??!! eeeek!

    oh and i would have my reasons for wanting to break up sorted out in my head too, because if you say its the distance thngs but your only there for the summer than she might have false hope.

    good luck!


  • #3
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Instead of letting her come to visit you, why don't you go to see her and end things then. It's much more respectful to break up face to face but I don't think it's fair to let her go to the effort and expense of coming to see you just so you can dump her - I'd try to let her know what you are thinking before she gets all excited about coming to see you if it's impossible to cancel now. Try and do it asap, if you cancel the holiday you might be able to get some kind of refund.

    No, there is no easy way to end something with someone but I think getting it done as soon as you feel you have to is easier on you and them in the long-run. I'm not sure being able to pretend to be a doting boyfriend when you no longer want to be with someone is really possible and her picking up on your reluctance on holiday is not a fair way to break the news to someone.

    Best of luck


  • #4
    whatsamsn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭whatsamsn


    Op,
    you're in a no win situation.

    - If you wait till she comes over... then tell her before the holiday. She'll hate you.

    - If you wait till after the holiday. Then tell her. She'll hate you.

    - If you just ring her today and break up with her. She'll hate you.



    Basically, think whats best. For you and her. Either way, she'll hate you.

    Personally, I would ring her. You have to factor in that you might fight with her over there knowing how you feel. Thats even worse.


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