My self esteem is horrible and I really need help to improve it

LegacyUser

Hi there,
I'm in my twenties and have chronic self esteem problems with cause issues in many areas of my life. This causes depression which makes it even harder to deal with these problems.

I have been to doctors before but never had much success - I think this must be because I was not ready to listen. I hope I'm ready to listen now but I'm not sure.

One of the things I am doing is trying to talk to people and get out there. I am going out and meeting people in different areas that I'm interested in and sometimes this makes me feel a little better but sometimes it can make me worse. Talking with my family which I only started doing in the last week or so can help and sometimes makes me forget everything and feel better overall. The depression keeps coming back though and I want to be a educated self confident person because I think I may be this at the very centre.

I have just started taking note of some negative thoughts as another strategy this evening - I am trying to challenge this negative thoughts which is working mentally I suppose but I'm not sure how or when my emotions underneath will change.

I am really looking/need support from people who are interested in listening. The support is very important because sometimes I just forget/do not want to help myself and just sit back in the way that I'm so used to doing for years now.

So hello to anyone that can help and really knock myself into a more healthy state overall.

I know I have alot of potential but find it really hard to set goals and stick to them.

I'm actually based in Galway so maybe some sort of group would be a good idea to go to though it might be tough to go for the first time.

poochierockz

chronicproblems wrote: »

Hi there,
I'm in my twenties and have chronic self esteem problems with cause issues in many areas of my life. This causes depression which makes it even harder to deal with these problems.

I have been to doctors before but never had much success - I think this must be because I was not ready to listen. I hope I'm ready to listen now but I'm not sure.

One of the things I am doing is trying to talk to people and get out there. I am going out and meeting people in different areas that I'm interested in and sometimes this makes me feel a little better but sometimes it can make me worse. Talking with my family which I only started doing in the last week or so can help and sometimes makes me forget everything and feel better overall. The depression keeps coming back though and I want to be a educated self confident person because I think I may be this at the very centre.

I have just started taking note of some negative thoughts as another strategy this evening - I am trying to challenge this negative thoughts which is working mentally I suppose but I'm not sure how or when my emotions underneath will change.

I am really looking/need support from people who are interested in listening. The support is very important because sometimes I just forget/do not want to help myself and just sit back in the way that I'm so used to doing for years now.

So hello to anyone that can help and really knock myself into a more healthy state overall.

I know I have alot of potential but find it really hard to set goals and stick to them.

I'm actually based in Galway so maybe some sort of group would be a good idea to go to though it might be tough to go for the first time.

can i ask you why you THINK you have these self esteem issues?
what causes it? is the way you lview yourself physically? is it family issues? has someone done something to you in the past? can you give a bit more information? you dont have to give specifics, just so i can get a sense of why you feel the way you do

Lockstep

A close friend of mine is having the exact same problems (also in Galway)
He visits the counsellor in NUIG who he finds a great help.
Might be useful if you're in NUIG yourself

katie99

Well done for being honest about your issue and trying to do something to combat it.
Congratulations!
Many people have low self esteem issues. Some try to overcome it by arrogance, showing off, slagging off other people publicly and in private.
So, we all need a confidence boost from time to time.
You recognise you have an issue here where thousands try to ignore it by excessive drinking, etc.
I would recommend a book to you. It is called The Road Less Travelled by I think Norman Vincent Peale. It may not contain all the answers for you but I am sure it will provide you with some help and words of wisdom.
Also read the poem Desiderata. Goodle it.
Hope that helps.

andrewire

You should definitely start doing some exercise. Go for a swimming session or a run every day. Self-esteem problems usually get better when you change your habits and follow a schedule. Are you eating a balanced diet or junk food?

Go for walks, run's or even a cycle. Eat more fruit and drink plenty of water, makes you feel so much better about yourself.

Go out when your friends ask you do you fancy going for a few drinks or even for a drive.

I'm in exactly the same boat as you, at times I've felt so low that I had no motivation to do anything. So much so that I was sometimes asked whether I liked being miserable. It's very easy to sit back and do what you always did, you're comfortable with it. But it doesn't move you forward and I'm only beginning to realise this myself.

I'm in a much better state right now, not out of the woods by any means but hopefully on the long road to recovery. The first thing I've needed to fight was the negative thinking, my therapist encouraged me to make myself aware of these thoughts and catch myself doing it. Once I was aware of it I began to have them less often.

One of the things that helped me was taking two weeks off work and doing some random travelling around the country - it gave me something to do and I tried to talk to some people I met along the way. My idea was, if I screw up who cares as I'll never see these people again.