Dreams that are so real :'(

magicface1

This is the 11th year after my mam died with cancer in 1999 and everything was going so well it was really really tough at the start as I was only 14 when she died until recently I have being feeling down and missing her. Then Thursday/early yesterday morning I had a dream with her in it and we were on holidays in Spain and it was a perfect and happy dream and was like she was so real again I was so happy in it. Then we were going back up to the apartment and were in the lift and my mam hated lifts when she was around... So going up and she let out a roar in my dream and I swear to god I woke up with a loud bang in the apartment in real life even my fiance woke up so I got up thinking someone broke into the house and I could hear something outside the door so I picked up the nearest thing to me which was my freaking shoe(of all things to pick up he he) and opened the door and nothing out there only a picture had falling off the wall... I have not been that freaked out for a good while. When I did calm down after it all. I was so annoyed I was woken up during a brilliant dream with my mam in it and I cried and I haven't done that in ages... So my thing is why are dreams so real as I would have giving anything to get back to that dream just for 5 minutes or I suppose I was hoping to maybe getting to see my mam again as so much things to ask her and so many things to ask her and even say I love you or whatever. So much things have happened to me over the last few years and I owe alot to my Mam as I wouldn't be half the person I am today if I wasn't for her help through my life... Miss and love you Mam xxxx

UpCork

Those really vivid, happy dreams of loved ones who have passed are awful. My grand-dad is dead over 20 years and I know Mum still dreams about him and she still finds them as upsetting as she did the first time she dreamt about them.

I was quite young when he died, so I don't dream about him as much, perhaps because I don't have as many memories as him

My granny died a few years ago - we wer every close - and I do dream about her. Some are very happy dreams - i.e. she's alive and well in them, others not so.

She was sick for a short time before she died. Nothing serious, or so we thought (we thought she'd get better, doctors didn't seem concerned, then she passed away).

Often times I have dreamt that she's really ill and she's really suffering. I don't think she's ever actually died in my dream, but she's really sick. It's strange because when I wake up and realise she isn't suffering anymore (the suffering in the dream is always far worse than what she actually sufferent in real life), I breath a sigh of relief, and then I realise that she's done and I feel guilty for the sense of relief if that makes sense.

I can empathise with the dreaming - it isn't nice really

*hugs*

magicface1

thanks ya its a killer alright... the dreams are so real and the one that night just blew me away... its good to know others have the same kind of dreams etc...

kelle

Oh, Magicface I am welling up after reading your post. Here's a big cyberhug!

I can't help wondering if your mum was letting you know she was around when the picture fell off the wall???? Especially after your dream.

My mother and father were both diagnosed with cancer in September 2004, within 8 days of each other. Both diagnoses came as a shock, they had been healthy as trouts. Yet they were in the final stages of cancer when diagnosed.

Dad went rapidly downhill and died in January 2005. Mum on the other hand responded well to chemo and her tumours had shrunk - her doctors were pleased. That took our minds of poor Dad having passed away. But she died suddenly in February 2005, 4 weeks after Dad - probably a blood clot (we refused post mortem, she had been through enough!), but we reckon it was a broken heart!

Suddenly we were plunged into grief for both our parents.

Then I started having the dreams about Mum. They were so vivid, she was miserable. After a few months the dreams became more "cheerful", and in my dreams I'd be saying to myself "God, all the fuss we made organising a funeral for Mum and now she's beating the cancer." Then I'd wake up with such a letdown when I realised it had only been a dream!
So I can understand how you feel, magicface.

I don't dream about her as often now. Maybe I am letting her go in peace. But I miss her so. She was only 58, she would be 63 now, still very young.

cats.life

hi ya op, you are not alone . my dad died 15yrs ago from a blood clot to the bowl. when he died we didnt no so much pain of losing a family member, so instead of me taking time of work i went back to my flat , i felt so odd but not alone , that night i had that dream ,he was sitting in the sitting room in chair beside the window ( he was never in my flat cos i was not long moved in before he got sick) he was in the suit and cap that we buried him in, he said ''im ok mary, dont worry bout me''..i woke up feeling calm and ok not scared. ive only told a few people bout this, im convince that they are looking out for us from above or where they are, i always chat to my mum and dad if i have a problem.

baby and crumble

Hi OP,

I know what you mean, those dreams can be the loveliest and the toughest things to get through... That dream you had sounds lovely. Well until youwoke up and realised it was a dream...

I had a dream about 1 mont hafter my Mam passed away, in it I got this phonecall and it was her! Needless to say I was surprised- s she told me they were allowed 1 call a week from heaven and this week it was my turn!! :rolleyes: So we were chatting away, and I was bringing her up to date, and all she said on the phone was "Yeah, I know all this", and I was a bit sort of shocked and said "But how, Mam, you're... you know... dead..." And she said "Well, sure I can see everything, I was watching when it happened!"

(Ok,welling up as I write this!! )

Long story short- I think (and I may be seen as a bit weird for this) but I do think that these nice dreams of life going on as normal etc are just the universes way of telling us that they're at peace.

magicface1

Thanks for all your replies and its good to see other people have had same experiences and that im not alone.. Im ok now but have to say it knocked a bit out of me for a couple of days.. Great dream tho.. If only it was real but hey thats the joys of dreaming of someone that is dead and that means so much to you, you want the dream to last. But we gotta wait until the next one.. TO BE CONTINUED... fingers crossed.

Kablamo!

It was my Dad's anniversary on the 4th of August and ever since I've been plagued with bad dreams. In the dream I'll see him and say "DADDY!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" and he'll say "I am, but I can come back if you do x, y and z". I invariably try my hardest to make him alive again, but he'll fade away and then I wake up with a horrific sense of guilt. I know myself how bloody silly it is, but it'll really put me in an awful mood for the day.

stupidusername

I keep having dreams about my mam, but in them I'm nearly always fighting with her. It's horrible really, because I wake up and feel like I should be dreaming all these nice dreams, like some of you are talking about. Some are about her still alive, but still being sick, some are about her being sick and no one even knowing when she's died.

They're not hugely upsetting, but I suppose I don't like them because they just keep bringing to mind the conflict we always had / still have in our family over things. and the feelings that I have towards other people.

I'd like to have a nice dream, though I think one of those could upset me more.

magicface1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWBGwlLntHg

dlofnep

OP - I'd give you a big auld hug now if I could. That's some eye-watering stuff. I'm very sorry. Some dreams can feel overwhelmingly real. I've had a few in my life, and you always wake up wonder what in the hell just happened.

I don't know what to tell you, other than the mind is an extremely powerful thing. Dreams normally try to tell us something - Perhaps it's trying to tell you that you're feeling down or lonely. I don't really know. I felt I had to at least comment on such a genuine and heartfelt post.

magicface1

Cheers guys hitting a wall again today as I have just started college as a mature student and I know my Mam would be so proud of me as no one in my family have went to college and I wish see was here to say best of luck or just give me a hug.. Its 11 years on since she died and although 93% of the time I can live with it and get through but ya have these days. Thanks to everyone that has replied...

dlofnep

I started college as a mature student, and was the first out of my extended family to go to college. Got my honours degree a few months ago

You'll do just fine buddy, and yes - your mam would be extremely proud of you! Do your best for her. That's all mothers want for their children, is for them to get the best. Stay strong. We're all here to give you e-hugs

newtoboards

cats.life wrote: »

hi ya op, you are not alone . my dad died 15yrs ago from a blood clot to the bowl. when he died we didnt no so much pain of losing a family member, so instead of me taking time of work i went back to my flat , i felt so odd but not alone , that night i had that dream ,he was sitting in the sitting room in chair beside the window ( he was never in my flat cos i was not long moved in before he got sick) he was in the suit and cap that we buried him in, he said ''im ok mary, dont worry bout me''..i woke up feeling calm and ok not scared. ive only told a few people bout this, im convince that they are looking out for us from above or where they are, i always chat to my mum and dad if i have a problem.

Do you know I had the same sorta dream after my grandad died. We were very close and in the end I refused to say goodbye knowing that he was dying. I regretted that stupid decision so much. Then a long while later I had a dream with him sitting at the end of my bed and shaking my foot to wake me so up I got and sat beside him. He told me he was content dead and it was time, so he gave me a massive hug and I got to say goodbye. he actually told me there was no need for the goodbye as he was always with me. I woke up feeling finally at peace with his passing. Its great to know someone else had the same experience.

Dude111

When loved ones pass on,THIER SPIRIT CAN STAY AROUND for awhile and they usually do

They want to say GOODBYE or they just dont want to leave,its very hard.....

I have read that dreaming of a loved on that PASSED ON is a sign your trying to remember GOOD DAYS (And i know i have been trying for awhile to remember when things were BETTER than now)

God bless magicface1,im sorry about your mom!

magicface1

11 years today...

df1985

I get vivid dreams of my parents too. My Dad is 7 years gone, My Mam just died august this year. with both i had one extremely vivid "real" dream each though, one that felt more real than any other. I actually took some comfort from them, even though i woke up and started crying.

With my Dad, I was sitting in the living room, watching tv. I look out the window and see my Dad walking down our road. In my dream im very upset, in a panic, i open the window so I can speak to him. I beg him to come back, say how much i miss him etc etc, but he says he cant, hes ok where he is and that ill be ok and he loves me. I hug him out the window and i wake up (crying)

With my Mam it only happened a few weeks ago. We were in an airport, coming to security. It all went pretty quick, I was allowed through but my Mam wasnt, she had to stay there.It was like I was going somewhere for good and wouldnt see her again. I wasnt as upset in that dream though, we both seemed to accept it, said goodbye, hugged and I woke up. broke down when I woke up though.

I only found out after my Mam had died, of a dream she had, days before she died. She told 2 of her friends but not me as she didnt want to upset me.They told me then afterwards. My Mam dreamed she was lying in bed and my Dad came to her in a white shirt and put out his hand as if to say its time to go, she woke up very quick after that.....take from that what you will but I was happy to hear that after she died.

Some people say its your mind playing tricks, other see a deeper meaning-all depends on your faith/superstition i suppose. I took some comfort though from them and I wouldnt even be that religious.

Bundaberg

magicface1 wrote: »

11 years today...

Sometimes it feels like only yesterday, other times it feels so long ago..
My father died 4 years ago and there is not a day that passes when I don't think about him. It's been a long time since I've dreamt about him and this makes me feel sad, feels like there is a gap between me and him thats getting bigger and I don't want that to happen. Does that even make sense?
Stay strong and cherish your wonderful memories I'm sure you have. I'm sure they are all in a happy place and completely at peace. x