Drummer Jokes

PaulBrewer

Go ! Do it !!

Zangetsu

Q: How do ya know its time to get a new drummer?

A: When he tells ya he has an idea for a new song... Ba dum tisch (pun intended) :pac:

PaulBrewer

How do you know when a drummer's at your door ?

How do you know when a singer's at your door ?

EL_Loco

let me be the first to take offence!!! humph!



edit: oh here: http://www.drumjokes.com/

/thread

PaulBrewer

PaulBrewer wrote: »

How do you know when a drummer's at your door ?

How do you know when a singer's at your door ?

The knocking speeds up ....

He doesn't know when to come in .....

EL_Loco

one with an Irish twist:

guy walks into a bar, the barman says "Is that a lump of semtex under your arm?"
Guy says "yeah"
Barman: "Oh thank god, for a second there I thought it was a bodhran"

woodsdenis

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine ?

You only have to punch the instructions in once with a drum machine.


A very 80's drummer joke.

eviltimeban

What do you call a drummer who's broken up with his girlfriend?

Homeless.


How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

5. One to change it and 4 to talk about how Neal Peart would've done it.


How do you know a drummer's at the door?

The knocking is out of time.

Asphyxia

Okay my turn...

• What's the biggest lie told to a drummer?
Hang on a minute and I'll help you with your gear.

• A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some "real" musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says "I'll take that red trumpet over there and that accordion."
The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies "OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got to stay".

DamagedTrax

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff....

duh dum tish :pac:



i know, it wasnt exactly a drummer joke but it makes me giggle

studiorat

How'ja know the drum riser's level?

Drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth at the same time.

ZV Yoda

studiorat wrote: »

How'ja know the drum riser's level?

Drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth at the same time.

The drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth

woodsdenis

A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to produce and engineer some "real" music. He goes to the store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says " Can I have a full Protools HD setup with a MacPro Nahelem 32 gigs of RAM, Sync I/O, Big Ben Master clock, 4 internal HDs, Waves Mercury Bundl....." "Woah" says the clerk "you must be a drummer". " how the heck did you know that" says the the drummer. "This is a cheese shop" says the clerk:D

wandatowell

Q: What does a drummer use as a contraceptive?

A: His personality.

novarock

whats the difference between a 16 inch pizza and a drummer?

A 16 inch pizza can feed a family...

i57dwun4yb1pt8

in the interest of balance .....

A scientific expedition disembarks from its plane at the final outpost of civilization in the deepest Amazon rain forest.
They immediately notice the ceaseless thrumming of native drums. As they venture further into the bush,
the drums never stop, day or night, for weeks.

The lead scientist asks one of the natives about this, and the native's
only reply is "Drums good. Drums never stop. Very BAD if drums stop."

The drumming continues, night and day, until one night,
six weeks into the trip, when the jungle is suddenly silent.
Immediately the natives run screaming from their huts, covering their ears.
The scientists grab one boy and demand "What is it? The drums have stopped!"

The terror-stricken youth replies "Yes! Drums stop! VERY BAD!"
The scientists ask "Why? Why? What will happen?"

Wild-eyed, the boy responds,

" . . . BASS SOLO!!!" -





A couple, who's relationship was on the rocks, went to a marriage counselor who could not get them to discuss anything.
The communication block was so heavy that nothing he suggested could make them open up and talk.
Finally after several sessions of non-communication, the counselor stands up, walks to the corner
of the room and produces a bass guitar. He brings it to the couple,
plugs it into a small practice amp and begins to play fervently.
Gradually their barriers break down and they begin to discuss
their problems and little things that always bothered them that they never felt encouraged to bring up before.

At the end of the session, they were smiling and laughing just like old times.
They paid their bill and before leaving,
the couple asked the counselor, "What did you do? How did that song help make everything work out?"

He answered simply, "Everybody talks during the bass solo."

PaulBrewer

DaDumTish wrote: »

in the interest of balance .....

A scientific expedition disembarks from its plane at the final outpost of civilization in the deepest Amazon rain forest.
They immediately notice the ceaseless thrumming of native drums. As they venture further into the bush,
the drums never stop, day or night, for weeks.

The lead scientist asks one of the natives about this, and the native's
only reply is "Drums good. Drums never stop. Very BAD if drums stop."

The drumming continues, night and day, until one night,
six weeks into the trip, when the jungle is suddenly silent.
Immediately the natives run screaming from their huts, covering their ears.
The scientists grab one boy and demand "What is it? The drums have stopped!"

The terror-stricken youth replies "Yes! Drums stop! VERY BAD!"
The scientists ask "Why? Why? What will happen?"

Wild-eyed, the boy responds,

" . . . BASS SOLO!!!" -





A couple, who's relationship was on the rocks, went to a marriage counselor who could not get them to discuss anything.
The communication block was so heavy that nothing he suggested could make them open up and talk.
Finally after several sessions of non-communication, the counselor stands up, walks to the corner
of the room and produces a bass guitar. He brings it to the couple,
plugs it into a small practice amp and begins to play fervently.
Gradually their barriers break down and they begin to discuss
their problems and little things that always bothered them that they never felt encouraged to bring up before.

At the end of the session, they were smiling and laughing just like old times.
They paid their bill and before leaving,
the couple asked the counselor, "What did you do? How did that song help make everything work out?"

He answered simply, "Everybody talks during the bass solo."

Only a drummer would find that sort of thing funny ...;)

Jemmaa

PaulBrewer wrote: »

Only a drummer would find that sort of thing funny ...;)

And only named DaDumTish as two drums and a cymbal falling off a cliff

P.S. My personal favourite was:

• What did the drummer say to the band leader?
Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?

brettzy

Guy walks up to the counter and says,
"Can I have 4 .60 plec's and a pack of GHS boomers, lights please"
The cashier replies,
"Your a drummer, aren't you?"
Guy, "How did you know?"
Cashier, "Because this is McDonalds"