I think the old man is cheating

D.R cowboy

Guys how do you know when someone is cheating on someone else
I think the old man is cheating on my mother, I know he is a busy man with an important job, however when i went into his office today to use his car for training , he was in his office with a blond 20 something year old and when i went in they both jumped up and started looking around. i told him to give me his car, and he did even put up a fight even tho its a new 10 mercedes. Now that i think about it, he does a lot of texting when he is at home to his golf pals, maybe they would now what is really going on.

I told my mother but she was to busy to take in what I was saying, and when she did, she told me not to be worrying about it.

what should I do??

Biggins

Well if you have already called your mothers attention to the possibility... I'd leave it at that.
You tried. The onus to see any existing problem sorted is now up to your mother, not you to be frank.

I know for your own sake/reason, you would like to have the matter confirmed or cleared up but if your mam is willing to accept the situation (possibly due to a situation/deal/late lifestyle choice you are not fully aware of?), you can only do so much then leave it in their hands to sort out.

starbelgrade

D.R cowboy wrote: »

I told my mother but she was to busy to take in what I was saying, and when she did, she told me not to be worrying about it.

what should I do??

It sounds to me that if there is something going on, then your mam is already well aware of it & is either not bothered by it, or is dealing with it in her own way.

I know some women don't mind if their OH plays away & others would prefer their OH to have an affair than to lose their job.

Either way - whatever the reasons or truths behind this story, it's not really anything for you to worry about.

Sharpshooter

Thread cleaned up and moved from After Hours.

The Corinthian

D.R cowboy wrote: »

what should I do??

Nothing. It's a matter between them. Bit late to ask though.

Get involved between your parents on something like this and you are effectively taking sides; taking a preference or stand of loyalty for one parent over another - and regardless of whether your father is having an affair or not (his behavior may be suspicious, but nothing is even close to proven) he will feel betrayed by you and this could likely embitter your relationship with him for years to come.

Even your mother may end up resenting that you got involved, especially if it turns out that it was a false alarm. Or she may simply have preferred to remain ignorant, which also often happens.

Either way, you really should have done nothing, but you did anyway. Regardless of what happens as a consequence, you will pay the price for your intervention.

Beruthiel

D.R cowboy wrote: »

i told him to give me his car

You told him to give you his car?!

what should I do??

Nothing.
This is between your parents and you should keep well clear of it.
Were they to interfer in any of your relationships, you would not appreciate it.
This is no different and as TC states above, there will be consequences.

metrovelvet

How old are you OP?

Zen65

D.R cowboy wrote: »

I think the old man is cheating on my mother, I know he is a busy man with an important job, however when i went into his office today to use his car for training , he was in his office with a blond 20 something year old and when i went in they both jumped up and started looking around.

So, he's the manager, right?

I have many staff, both male and female. Sometimes they will come into my office to talk about a matter in private. This may include problems they have at home, or medical issues, or a work issue involving their colleagues, or it could be as simple as me giving them a performance appraisal. It's a very private, confidential discussion. If somebody walked in while I was doing that, I'd probably jump too. It certainly does not mean I'm having an affair with any of them.

Don't jump to conclusions. If your father is successful, as you say, then he's almost certainly smart enough not to be fooling around at work. That's generally the path of loser (or the occasional American president).

Be at peace,

Z

Emme

D.R cowboy wrote: »

Guys how do you know when someone is cheating on someone else
I think the old man is cheating on my mother, I know he is a busy man with an important job, however when i went into his office today to use his car for training , he was in his office with a blond 20 something year old and when i went in they both jumped up and started looking around. i told him to give me his car, and he did even put up a fight even tho its a new 10 mercedes. Now that i think about it, he does a lot of texting when he is at home to his golf pals, maybe they would now what is really going on.

I told my mother but she was to busy to take in what I was saying, and when she did, she told me not to be worrying about it.

what should I do??

Stay out of it.

D.R cowboy

Zen65 wrote: »

So, he's the manager, right?

I have many staff, both male and female. Sometimes they will come into my office to talk about a matter in private. This may include problems they have at home, or medical issues, or a work issue involving their colleagues, or it could be as simple as me giving them a performance appraisal. It's a very private, confidential discussion. If somebody walked in while I was doing that, I'd probably jump too. It certainly does not mean I'm having an affair with any of them.

Don't jump to conclusions. If your father is successful, as you say, then he's almost certainly smart enough not to be fooling around at work. That's generally the path of loser (or the occasional American president).

Be at peace,Z

Thanks man, I think you are right, I over heard a converstion between him and a friend about a girl who is pregant in work.

greengiant09

could be nothing....but i cetainly wouldn't be surprised!...there's a fair bit of adultering going on in my work. check his phone and you'll know for sure....i know some people say thats an invasion of privacy and it is but sometimes it's the lesser evil. texting a lot is also a bit suspicious.....especially late at nite. maybe your mother doesn't mind anyway.....

Boskowski

Above all I'd like to say - and maybe I'm gettin the wrong impression completely - that you want to overthink your attitude towards your father. Your entire post smells like respectless spoilt little brat to me. You barge into the office, you tell him to give you his car, your language in general - all attitude.

jimmycrackcorm

Boskowski wrote: »

Above all I'd like to say - and maybe I'm gettin the wrong impression completely - that you want to overthink your attitude towards your father. Your entire post smells like respectless spoilt little brat to me. You barge into the office, you tell him to give you his car, your language in general - all attitude.

I totally agree. On top of that the op made an accusation to the mother without any evidence other than the father jumping up.

If that was what was said too her then obviously she realized jumping up doesn't indicate anything.

Big Bag of Chips

Your first post did strike me as a little strange. You seem to have "issues" with your dad, and I think WANT him to be having an affair so that you can be rid of him for some reason. No?

Why would you automatically assume he is having an affair?
Why would you immediately tell your mother without any proof - or even real reason for suspicion?
Why would you then want to involve his golf pals?

And why did your mother brush you off so off handedly?

Are you normally so dramatic? Do you regularly make bold statements such as this, and are you now in danger of becoming "the boy who cried wolf"?

I think you need to look at yourself and your attitude to your parents.


EDIT: So then, after feeling the need to announce to your mother that your father is having an affair, and potentially destroying her/his and all the family's life (needlessly... If he's not having an affair that is!), you then shrug it off with.. Oh yeah, I think someone said something about someone being pregnant.. Did you apologise to your mam AND DAD.. for jumping to conclusions, or are they just used to you now?!

By the way, I don't mean any of that as a dig at you - but if people don't take what you say seriously, then you need to look at yourself, and what you tell people, and why you tell them, and what brings you to the conclusion that they need to be told something important. If people have the impression of you as a bit of a fantasist who imagines more than he sees, nothing you EVER say will be taken seriously.. by ANYONE who knows you.

So if someday you really do have something important to tell someone.. they won't listen.

Telling your mother that your father is having an affair, without proof of ANY sort, is HUGE.

You don't seem to think so - and neither did they - So somethings not right!

D.R cowboy

Boskowski wrote: »

Above all I'd like to say - and maybe I'm gettin the wrong impression completely - that you want to overthink your attitude towards your father. Your entire post smells like respectless spoilt little brat to me. You barge into the office, you tell him to give you his car, your language in general - all attitude.

Thanks D.R freud :rolleyes:

D.R cowboy

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Your first post did strike me as a little strange. You seem to have "issues" with your dad, and I think WANT him to be having an affair so that you can be rid of him for some reason. No?

I think you need to look at yourself and your attitude to your parents.

You don't seem to think so - and neither did they - So somethings not right!

If I wanted to destroy my father all I would have to do is click "my fingers"

I have looked at myself and I like what I see

whatsamsn

D.R cowboy wrote: »

If I wanted to destroy my father all I would have to do is click "my fingers"

I have looked at myself and I like what I see

I might as well say it, seems alot of people in the thread are feeling it too.

Op, you sound like one spoiled git. (i imagine your male with your username)

The words you use, the tone you use. Its pretty safe to say you are. And with this whole "all i have to do is click my fingers" - you seriously got some attitude

• its clear you dont really like your father. that much is CERTAIN. Big Bag of Chips is right.
  
• you have a real high almighty opinion of yourself, but more importantly I really dont see a point for this thread. You seem to be only looking for the opinions of others that will share your view on things. Are you looking for people to shout at you "make your mother break off with him!" ... thats not seeking advice.

Stop me if im wrong. My gut says your 18/19. I see you're from blackrock (as it says under your username). You're dad drives a brand new 2010 mercedes. ok. you're dad is sucuessful. You're a rich spoiled kid. Immature. Who hasnt got any sense. As you still have the teenage chip on their shoulder mentality. Best advice anyone could tell you is to grow up.

The Recliner

D.R cowboy wrote: »

If I wanted to destroy my father all I would have to do is click "my fingers"

I have looked at myself and I like what I see

OK After Hours playtime is over now