How should I interpret this?

LegacyUser

I was semi-seeing this guy for many months. I wont go into it but circumstances ment he wasnt comfortable being open about the relationship, I eventaully had enough of this and ended it. I care about him deeply and believe he feels the same (he had good reasons for being reluctant to make it official). He removed me on facebook when I ended it, saying it was temporary. He texted me a couple of times after that and we've spoken since then and both said we would like to try again at some point when the circumstances are better. He admitted removing me on facebook was uncalled for and appologised for it, but hasnt done anything about it.

Id like to contact him to show Im open to getting the ball rolling on working towards something but where do I stand with the facebook thing? Half of me thinks I should leave him be and when he's ready he'll be the one to make contact, the other half is tired of waiting and wants things to start happening and since he's not doing it why shouldnt I, but I dont want to be the fool chasing someone around that was happy to keep me on the long finger for so long. Any opinions?

mood

Is he already in a relationship?

Sounds like he is, so why are you having anything to do with him?

He obviously doesn't want to get caught so deleted you off facebook.

LegacyUser

unless he suddenly started seeing someone, he's not in a relationship. We have some common facebook friends, some of them are real life friends of mine he's only met a few times so I dont think he's neccessarily trying to hide anything.

Zen65

belfastgirl wrote: »

I was semi-seeing this guy for many months.

What do you mean by this? Maybe if you try to explain the past you will understand why he is behaving like this now.

Z

Miss Fluff

Can you give us more detail OP? Was he in a relatsionship already while you guys were involved?

mood

belfastgirl wrote: »

I wont go into it but circumstances ment he wasnt comfortable being open about the relationship,

This is not a good sign at all. I strongly think he is in a relationship with someone else. Otherwise why would he not want to be open about you and him! You were only 'semi seeing him' as you said so you probable were not involved enough in his life to be 100% he was 100% available.

Keep well away. Who want to be with someone who don't want friends etc to know they are involved?

LegacyUser

mood wrote: »

Who want to be with someone who don't want friends etc to know they are involved?

I know, your right.

To clarify a bit, he told me he liked me when he was still in a long term relationship. They broke up straight after that and at the beginning I was ok with staying in the background for a while but that while got to be a very long time in my opinion.

Uriel.

Hi Op,

He may not have been in a relationship as others have suggested, he might even have been (and is) technically single.

But to me (and it's difficult to know really with the little information you've provided), it sounds like he is/was dating more than just you.

Perhaps he didn't want to commit to anything publically as he was hedging his bets and trying to pick his preferable partner from a number of options.

It's difficult to say for sure but you really need to thread carefully on this one.

Uriel.

belfastgirl wrote: »

I know, your right.

To clarify a bit, he told me he liked me when he was still in a long term relationship. They broke up straight after that and at the beginning I was ok with staying in the background for a while but that while got to be a very long time in my opinion.

it sounds like he may have been hoping to get back with his ex. Or Perhaps he was using you to fill the void of suddenly losing a partner?

I think you would be best to steer clear for good while until enough time has passed for him to get his head in gear.

Don't let yourself be used though.

meditraitor

It sounds like he is still pining for the previous partner and doesnt want to f up his chances by being seen to be dating someone else.

Dont bother, too early

Miss Fluff

belfastgirl wrote: »

I know, your right.

To clarify a bit, he told me he liked me when he was still in a long term relationship. They broke up straight after that and at the beginning I was ok with staying in the background for a while but that while got to be a very long time in my opinion.

Sounds like he could have a few irons in the fire and is keeping you on the subs bench for when it suits him. By all means tell him it's now or never but if he dithers any more I wouldn't waste any more time on him.

LegacyUser

its been a whole year...

LegacyUser

Thanks Miss fluff,
When I ended it, he left it for a few days then said he'd be willing to do it properly if Id still have him. I was very wary of being treated the same again and wanted reasurance, he took it as a rejection and hence the facebook unfriending. The last time we spoke he was very angry with me, for what he saw as me not giving it a chance.

Miss Fluff

If it's a whole year I really think he has had ample opportunity to do something about it. You're actually depriving yourself of the potential to meet someone really nice while he continues to occupy space in your head. I'd forget about him if I were you girl.

robby^5

For a start just forget about facebook, please. Facebook reveals a lot of information about the daily lives of its users, lots of people wouldnt want to reveal every aspect of their life after a breakup to an ex. So get over this and understand that there are boundries when a relationship ends. Being a friend on facebook works for some people, for others they'd rather their ex's not have such insight into their personal lives.

LegacyUser

Robby 5:
I completely agree, I dont put any personal info on facebook either, dont even have any photos visible. So its not a case that I was presurring him to change his status or anything.

SarahSassy

belfastgirl wrote: »

Robby 5:
I completely agree, I dont put any personal info on facebook either, dont even have any photos visible. So its not a case that I was presurring him to change his status or anything.

Forget about him. No one knows how many years they have left on the planet so why waste another one of yours waiting for someone who has left you and doesnt appear to be coming back.

LegacyUser

He contacted me. And told me he's slept with someone else