Odd Situation

LegacyUser

Well, odd by most peoples standards id guess.

I have a recent enough ex who I was with for a decent amount of time. It went south, she turned out to be the definition of a bunny boiler in disguise. I mean irrational abuse, hitting, insecure, had replacements lined up towards the end, quite possibly cheated, laughed at me when I broke it off. Yeah, that about covers it more or less. Never talked since, all lines of communication broken and blocked where applicable.

Problem is, and I suppose its a bit funny saying that considering the above, my Mother has a mental condition which kicks off once in a while (once every year or two). This causes a period of..strange antics before she cools down or ends up in hospital. Never told her about the details of the break up for that reason, just said it was over. Unfortunately now she is becoming ill, and keeps bringing up the ex in conversation. Not a good sign, already she has gone looking for her once (unsuccessfully) to see how she is doing. Took quite a liking to the ex, though funny enough thinks the ex was a tad strange (irony!).

My ex was aware of her condition, should I send an email and warn her?

squonk

No! Chances are your mum won't find your ex. Your ex is aware of your mum's condition anyway so, if the situation does arise, she should be aware of the scenario from what you say. I don't think you owe this person anything really. Best leave well enough alone I'd say. I'd assume your ex has taken steps to block you from her life, so that could well contribute to her not meeting up with your mum also. Worry about your mum, that's the best thing to do IMHO.

Miss Fluff

Tell her your ex moved abroad and got married.

LegacyUser

If only!

Unfortunately, due to an odd coincidence (discovered during the relationship) she actually lives approximatively one/two hops over a close relatives wall (close estates). Not to mention works in a shop fifteen minutes or so away (unless she has moved on).

redhed35

just keep telling her that its over with you and your girlfriend.

explain why,maybe edit the details a little.

i dont know if your mother is aware that she forgets,but if so and you feel it would not offend or upset her,perhaps writing a list of things down.

example: menu for the week,bills that are due or paid,appointments,girlfriend (insert name) is out of the picture and really busy right now.,a list of phone numbers etc.

LegacyUser

It might be worth your while to educate yourself about mental illness.

There are many organisations in Ireland (e.g. www.shine.ie), that offer support to people who are directly and indirectly affected by mental illness and the stigma, isolation and prejudices endured by people when such terms as 'bunny boiler' are bandied about,(which is also a very sexist term).

We only have your side of the story I bet your ex-girlfriend might have a tale or two to tell about how your lack of sensitivity, for starters, drove her to irrational measures.

Your mum could do with your support.
Find out as much as you can about her condition on focus on being there for her rather than further stigmatising her by warning your 'ex-girlfriend.'

Maybe your mum is focusing on your ex-girlfriend because your ex was more understanding to her than you were when she was going through episodes in the past.

LegacyUser

To clarify, she is Bi-Polar. So not a case of memory loss or anything. Has already had a run at my other siblings OH's. Not sure how my Ex would deal it, she was aware of it, but never witnessed it or got much details.

As for the above post (Awareness), not sure where you got that from..plenty aware of Bi-Polar condition. The ex, well think the track record speaks for itself on that one. Bunny boiler best encapsulates it. Few more vulgar terms can be interplayed.